Do you make other people happy?
As put forth by the Second Splendid Truth:
One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy;
One of the best ways to make other people is to be happy yourself.
Everyone accepts the Second Splendid Truth, Part A; the Second Splendid Truth, Part B often isn’t as clear to people. But to focus on Part A here – how do you know if you’re making other people happy? What are some signs?
Are the following statements true for you:
- Do people seem to feel comfortable confiding in you?
- Do people follow your recommendations?
- Are you a source of material comfort or security for someone else?
- Do people whom you’ve introduced often go on to have a continuing relationship?
- Do people seem to drift toward you? Join a conversation that you’re having, sit down next to you at a meeting?
- Have you recently been involved in the improvement or growth of an organization, group, or process that involves many other people?
- Are you providing opportunities for other people – job leads, blind dates, contacts in a new city?
- Do people whom you hardly remember go out of their way to greet you warmly? Say, the friend of your old roommate, or a former co-worker?
- Do people seem to want to connect with you — by making plans or by emailing, calling, or texting?
- Do people seem energized by you? Do they smile and laugh in your presence?
Notice some items that are not on the list:
- Do people remember your birthday?
- Do people give you presents (say, for Mothers’ Day, or in recognition of an important milestone)?
- Do people express appreciation and gratitude for your efforts?
Even if you’re making people happy, they don’t always respond by making these gestures. (Which can be quite annoying.)
A while back, I posted a quiz, Are you the person whom everyone else finds difficult? It was a lot easier to think of signs that you make people unhappy than you make people happy – perhaps because of the negativity bias.
What am I missing? I feel like I’ve overlooked some obvious indicators. What are some other good signs that you make people happy?