What’s Your “Pigeon of Discontent”? Weigh In!

Each week, I post a video about some Pigeon of Discontent that a reader has raised in the comments. Because, as much as we try to find the Bluebird of Happiness, we’re also plagued by the Pigeons of Discontent.

These aren’t the major happiness challenges that we face, but rather, those little nagging problems that settle into roost.

I’m constantly surprised by what a big happiness boost I can get from small changes. As Samuel Johnson wrote–and I love this quotation so much that I quoted it in Happier at Home— “It is by studying little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery and as much happiness as possible.” Tackling small nuisances has a big influence on my day.

What Pigeon of Discontent is messing with you lately? Please post your suggestions below, as fodder for possible future videos. If you’d like to see previous Pigeon videos, you can find them here.

I think I’m going to switch to a different subject for the weekly videos; I’m still thinking through my new idea–but I’m really excited about it. So if you have a Pigeon of Discontent, mention it now!

  • David

    My pigeon of discontent is my inability to separate my own happiness from the state of the world generally. In other words, depressing news stories about wars, crime, natural disasters, etc., always ways heavily on my mind no matter how good my personal situation may be.

    • I had a very similar problem and my desire to stay educated about and aware of current events was often at odds with internalization of these issues and trouble teasing them apart from my personal life. I found that a large reason that these issues were so troubling to me was that I felt relatively hopeless to change them. It seemed that many stories were just sad for the sake of being sad (but were attention-grabbing nonetheless) and were not presented in a way that provided any silver lining nor clear ways to affect change in order to improve the situation. Since these types of stories often left me feeling deflated, but were hard to resist reading when reading headlines or hearing news snippets, I stopped listening to news on the radio (I don’t have TV service), and I changed my homepage to HappyNews.com, which has positive stories and also positive events within otherwise larger, negative situations, such as a heroic feat in a natural disaster or ways to contribute toward a relief fund. Then, for negative situations for which you can speak out on behalf of the issue, I signed up for Care2.com so that whenever a petition is available regarding an issue of interest, I am alerted and can sign it in order to lend my voice toward improving the situation or preventing similar cases in the future. In doing so, I have had the empowering experience of seeing the positive outcomes of so many petition efforts and receiving feedback from CEOs of large corporations,my senators and representatives, and even our president. Knowing that I can channel my global concerns toward positive change has truly changed the way I approach the news.

  • peninith1

    How about this: It’s election time, and I’m a person with strong views. I have learned to mostly curb my opinions, and I do try to choose my style of presentation carefully for civility. I want to be able to stand up for what I believe in as reasonable a way as possible. What suggestions are out there for handling your desire to express views, stay calm in the face of others’ extremism, and handle yourself with civility. Though I’m tempted to say nothing at all, I don’t always feel that this is fair. Of course ‘not at the dinner table’ is a great rule, especially when you know you’d be throwing a grenade into the casserole. But in other circumstances, I want to be able to stand and be counted. I try to stick to adding tested (and checked with independent sources) facts to the discussion, calmly stating my views, minimizing negative remarks about the opposition (be FOR, not against) and avoiding hatefulness or escalation. What do others have to say on this?

    • sheriji

      One of the funniest facebook posts I’ve seen lately is something like “I’m sorry if I offended you by posting about my choice of presidential candidate but I thought that choosing who was going to be in charge of this country for the next 4 years was important enough to warrant some discussion. Please go back to posting a picture of your dinner.”

      • Having read the various replies to your post I have to say I was reminded of something Gretchen wrote about in the new book – the idea that what makes me happy does not even register on another person’s radar.
        For example, I am a serious life long meditation practitioner and am STUNNED that Gretchen has not gotten herself to even try it. Then I read her paragraph on the power of recognizing that what lights me up might not be a universal value.
        Politics, alas, is one of these. Believe it or not, there are intelligent, caring human beings out there who just don’t want to be involved in it, nor do they feel inclined to discuss your agenda about it. Go figure.

    • Hi. I know how you’re feeling. I try to refrain from political commentary as often as possible because, as you said, it’s election time and in the age of social media, political rants are a dime a dozen. I get sick of the “I’m-right-you’re-wrong” posts and the unwillingness of many people to debate civilly and the way people make everything partisan. So, I try not to add to that. However, I am interested in politics and I do have opinions, and I wish I could post them without people ripping them apart or having them lost in the fray.

      Here’s how I deal with it: I express all of my political thoughts and opinions and rantings in a personal journal. This gives me an outlet to say what’s on my mind and hash out my ideas and even rant, without having to worry about anyone picking it apart or judging me. And I don’t have to add more politics to people’s already overwhelmingly political newsfeeds in the process. Also, it helps me to sort out my ideas so that if I ever do debate them socially, I will be better able to express my argument rationally.

      Hope this helps!!

  • LivewithFlair

    I think you’ve mentioned this before, but I have to say that over-scheduling myself. I always think I have more capacity than I really do. I am learning to have only 2 appointments a day outside of my work. I think I’m learning how much conversations with people drain me. Does that sound strange that only 2 real conversations a day can happen without tiring me out?

  • LivewithFlair

    PS: I have a great quote for you: “The hard is a whole lot easier when you’re living your dream.” It was part of conversation I overheard at work: http://livewithflair.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-hard-is-whole-lot-easier-when-youre.html

  • I am very interested in politics, and I have strong views. I know that it isn’t wise to discuss subjects like politics at, say, a dinner party, but there are times that it comes up. I will share my views, and it inevitably turns into an argument. I can’t help but feel saddened when people I care for make ignorant statements that they then stand behind. I am not talking about just a difference of opinion, but rather when they are basing their beliefs on information that I know is wrong, and they won’t listen to the facts. (P.S. I just noticed someone above me posted a very similar problem! That’s election season for you, I guess.)

  • Adora Tsang

    My pigeon of discontent is that I’m always agitated when dealing with my parents and relatives. I envy people with caring family, but I can’t seem to make mine work. Partly because I feel unjust that my parents only care about my brothers. They prefer boys so much that they would even prefer my cousin Andy over me. Andy can do no wrong, he has stolen money from them and they still love him more than me!
    As terrible as they are, my attitude only make me feel worse. It is always dreadful in fall and winter – thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Chinese New Year, Easter… I actually prefer filing my tax than these holidays.I can’t make my parents love me, because they will always prefer boys, but I should be able to make it tolerable.

    • Anne

      You don’t say how old you are or whether you live with or near your parents. I had a similar problem when I was young, and I settled it (accidentally) by moving so far away that get-togethers with family required considerable effort. This reduced the size of my family to those who cared enough about me to call or visit. The others aren’t missed.

      I also have a very happy marriage, so my husband has become my primary family. And a couple of friends have become “family” as well. I make my holidays with them, and with the close family members I do have.

      For what it’s worth, looking at my brother (who was gender-favored by my mother to the point of insanity), I see how little good this kind of treatment does a person. It’s not enviable. My brother has had three failed marriages because he was so spoiled. He actually hasn’t ever had a reasonable relationship with anyone since our mother passed on. I don’t mean this as a gloat of any kind–I actually feel very sorry for him and wish I could help him somehow, but I’ve never figured out anything.

  • I can never decide how to schedule tasks that are at an equivalent priority level, especially small day to day errands. Should I do the laundry now or get groceries? I end up weighing pros and cons until I run out of time to do anything.

    • Anne

      My husband works at home, and we just moved to a place where the washing machine is so noisy, he’s requested that I only use it at certain times. At first, this seemed to be way too rigid. When I tried it, though, I found that having a designated time for laundry was more convenient than just doing it when I needed to. I made some other changes–bought a few more shirts, because that’s what was usually prompting me to do laundry oftener. And I also got a three compartment hamper for sorting, so I could make the whole thing more efficient.

      If some of your tasks have assigned times, it may be easier to plan the others around those times.

    • I am similar! How do I prioritize, especially when none of it is urgent or has a set deadline? I would say my pigeon of discontent is that I take forever to actually get out of the house–or if I’m working IN the house, then it takes me forever to actually DO anything.

  • For me it’s getting frustrated with people who don’t come back to you. There’s various things I done recently – articles to magazines, request for a blog magazine site, job applications – all of which have gone into the abyss of nothingness. I’ve had some great responses from other people for similar things which makes the non-replies all the more discontenting.

    • Anne

      My family is bad about this. I’ve just learned to work around them. For example, I recently asked my stepbrother if he’d like a particular memento of my dad’s. He said he wanted it, but he wouldn’t leave a shipping address on my answering machine, and we kept missing each other. Finally, I got the address from someone else in the family. I guess he got the memento–I never received an acknowledgement, but I didn’t care. Shrugged it off to some kind of weirdness.

      When it comes to business contacts, I figure a lack of reply is just a coward’s

      • Not wanting to be a hypocrite on this I decided that I’d let all the people who had quoted to proof read a book I’m writing, and weren’t chosen, know. One third replied saying “thanks for letting me know”. So is being told no better than nothing – I think so.

  • Andi Montgomery

    Living in a college town and working on campus, the influx of bad cyclists, scooter-riders, pedestrians, and even drivers in the fall always drives me crazy. When I watch someone walk in front of traffic or a cyclist disobey a rule of the road, I’m tempted to feel very ‘holier-than-thou.’ But then I’m just left feeling angry at the world and in a bad mood the rest of the day, even though these people aren’t directly affecting me.

    • LizH

      You live in Boston, too? 🙂

  • millions2

    My pigeon of discontent is that I don’t have enough time to read for pleasure. Since I’ve started going back to university full-time and working full-time, I find all my time for reading is dominated by business documents and textbooks. I have so many books piled up (including happier at home) and it pains me to see them sitting there unread.

  • Erin

    My Pigeon of discontent is my inability to buy gifts in a timely manner. When I’m not under the pressure of a holiday season or fast approaching birthday/anniversary I can think of lovely, thoughtful gift ideas. I’ll see items when I’m out think so-and-so would LOVE that! But as an underbuyer, unless I have a pressing reason to get it right at that moment, I don’t. So I spend all year passing up thoughtful gifts and spend the holiday season rushing to try and find/remember all those little things I passed up during the year. Usually to end up with gift cards and hastily bought fall-backs.

    I’m curious how you go about gift giving since you are also an underbuyer. How do you keep it all organized, thoughtful and also within a budget?

    • millions2

      I like this one. I don’t have this problem, but I know people in my life who live this to the extreme. My uncle doesn’t shop until the day before every special event. 99% of the time he gives cash – which is fine, but leaves the responsibility on the gift-receiver to buy something thoughtful for themselves. And most of the time, I just pay off bills.

      My mom, on the other hand, lives at the opposite spectrum. She will buy gifts in April and give them to me for christmas. The problem is, if the item is clothing, and doesn’t fit – i can’t return it because the return policy is 30 days or less. So, i’m stuck with a shirt that doesn’t fit and I can’t exchange it.

      I typically write down gift ideas for people throughout the year, especially when someone mentions an item they want. I won’t buy the actual gift until a few weeks prior. It’s a rare occasion when i can’t locate the item again because everything is available online these days.

    • Lasar

      I am an underbuyer, too, even though I like buying gifts. What works for me is that I love planning. I make a list of everyone I want to buy gifts for and look at it every once in awhile, or update it when I pass on a gift. When early-November comes (I know it seems early!) I start picking things up, and take great pleasure in being ahead of the game. Plus I feel good about the purchases b/c it’s not rushed. I hate crowds and rushing, so this works for me…my goal is to be done w/ shopping by Dec 1.

      • Kat

        I have experienced both situations. Waiting until it gets close to the event and then blanking on what to buy. Last year I started my shopping early, and had the same problem. Things that needed to be returned (sizing issues or even just double-gifting) were purchased too far in advance and didn’t qualify for return.

        I think I have solved the problem this year. My phone has an app for note taking, so I write down gift ideas as I think of them all year long. When I’m in a store and I see something perfect but it’s not in my budget, I write down the idea. This has been especially helpful for hostess gifts. We get invited to a lot of parties and I’m always at a loss for one hostess in particular who doesn’t drink or eat sweets. I have already done the boring scented candle, flowers, etc. Now I make notes of her decor style and food preferences, and ideas from friends, magazines, etc. that are very helpful. Now I can consult this list without panic. Plus, it helps me keep track of what I gave to whom.

        For Christmas gift ideas, I use Amazon to compile the list. As I’m surfing the web, I can add links to items and add them to my Amazon list, even if I’m on another website. The Amazon website can show you how to do this. You can make separate lists for different people if you like. That way, you can purchase the gift within the return policy time frame, but you already have all your ideas lined up and ready to go. Just *click* and you’re done!

    • Kat

      i used to have that problem too. please see my comment below.

  • Colleen

    My pigeon of discontent is when other people attempt to parent my child. These “people” are generally my well-meaning friends, some childless, which makes things slightly more awkard! My son is very spirited and we are often working on very specific behavior-related things and it can really throw things into a tailspin when someone else decides to put their parenting hat on so that they can play parent. If my child is in imminent danger, is being extremely rude or disrespectful that’s one thing but otherwise, it’s just a bad idea — and therefore my pigeon of discontent — to parent someone elses kid(s)!

  • Plantwizard

    My pigeon of discontent is that while I’d like to start a Happiness Project I can’t seem to figure out how to get started. It all seems too overwhelming. How does one select where to start?

  • Erin N. Price

    I take rude and unhappy clients personally and to heart. They aren’t mad and upset with me, but it’s hard for me to separate it!

  • Renee

    My pigeon of discontent is I am always checking my e-mail, Facebook, whatever, throughout the day. Sometimes right before bed, I will go downstairs (tell my husband I’m putting the cat away) and check my e-mail again! Once I check my e-mail, then I have to check Facebook messages too… and why? I find myself back here, time and again, in front of the computer. I have 3 kids and work from home. I often go to a coffee shop to work, to separate work from home. All my work and home e-mails (as the kids get older, I get more and more of them) come to the same e-mail address. Whenever one comes through, I see the little alert and feel compelled to check it. I feel like it’s not healthy. But it doesn’t help when it’s time for me to work, I check my e-mail, and there’s some message about one daughter’s band lesson next week or a note from the teacher about volunteering, etc… I feel like I’m going to be behind if I don’t check them all the time. But they are distracting me from getting my work done. And keeping me from being present with my family life, and overall, not a good thing.

  • Goldberry

    Gretchen, first, thank you so much for sharing your knowledge, ideas,
    and experience – they are inspiring!

    big Pigeon of Discontent: perfectionism! Not so much in a sense of
    having to do the best, but rather in having too high, impractical
    standards about what is involved in getting a job done.

    am aware that “perfect is the enemy of the good” and I agree with
    it intellectually, but in practice… How do I make myself do the
    magic 80% and move on to other things, including leisure?… How do I
    even decide what constitutes the magic 80%?…

    far, I’ve tried two things: setting my own deadlines and rewards, but
    none of them has worked. My own deadlines have not worked
    because my brain somehow knows that the deadline is artificial and
    finds ways to rationalize why I should do a better job. Rewards have
    not worked because it is not too difficult for me to postpone

    would greatly appreciate any suggestions on how to deal with
    perfectionism on a practical level.

    • Happy Today

      Dear Goldberry,

      I drive myself nuts with the same exact thing! In the moments when I am able to hit the magic 80% and move on, the happiness from that success only lasts for a short bit. It is only a matter of time before I start second guessing myself for stopping short or (and this is the worst!) criticize myself for being a slacker because I knowingly stopped with 20% more to go.

      I also struggle with accepting the magic 80% of others. At work, I manage a team of 6 and I find it difficult to balance setting a the bar of expectations, the enforcement of those expectations and the reality of what is possible.

      Here is what I have tried…
      1. I get a second opinion. Bouncing my idea of 80% off a trusted confidant helps alleviate some of the stress of knowing when good is good enough.
      2. I try to remember Gretchen’s advice “People do not notice your mistakes as much as you think they do.”
      3. I allow myself to do somethings sometimes to my standard of 100% but not everything all the time. For example, my idea of cleaning the kitchen has a number of levels…Level 1. Put the food in the fridge, thats it. Level 2 Put the food in the fridge AND do the dishes (this is 80%) Level 3 Put the food in the fridge, do the dishes, wipe down the counter, take out the trash, sweep the floor, wipe down the fridge and light a candle (this is 100%). I don’t need to do 100% every single time but knowing that I will do it every once in a while helps me not worry about those days that are 80% or below.

      Thanks for sharing!! I would love any other tips because this is a daily challenge for me.

      • Goldberry

        Dear Happy Today, thank you very much for responding and sharing your ideas. I especially like having a clear *up-front* picture of what constitutes the magic 80%, or “good enough.” I am sure it can greatly help, although such clear up-front decisions are not easy for me. Also, I seem to be frequently caught in a *false* belief that doing the task completely the first time is more efficient (because I will not have to re-visit the issue, re-do it, start again from scratch, etc.). And it may even be more efficient for that one particular task, *if* it really had to be done at the 100% level. But, most of the time, 80% is good enough. So on a global scale, I lose much more than gain: I put time and energy into frequent overhead, and get only very few cases of higher efficiency.
        It is amazing, however, how strong my false belief is and how uncomfortable I am acting against it. It would be funny, if it was not such a big Pigeon of Discontent…

        • Happy Today

          Dear Goldberry, Losing on the global scale, heavy energy into the overhead, false impression that doing all the first time is more efficient…you have summed it up well. I wonder, for myself and for you, why it continues to feel so uncomfortable even though intellectually we have figure it out.

          I guess in Gretchens words – remembering 80% is a resolution for us. An ongoing resolution with each day a new chance to practice.

          Good luck with your pigeons today!

  • s_ifat

    hey gretchen, i wrote it before, i’ll write it again- how do you find the time to eat healthy? i mean it is so much easier to a chocolate bar in 30 sec and be done with it. i dont have a weight problem but still, i dont eat as healthy as i want…

    • Jenna

      I have to plan what I am going to eat in the morning. I made a menu of healthy stuff that I like to eat for each meal and snack. Then I choose & write down what I am going to eat for the day. Not very spontaneous but it works.

  • Sherielf

    Piegeon of discontent – what if what I know to be true for my own happiness (alone time, reading, puttering) conflicts with the happiness of those I love who want quality time with me (their love language)? I find I can do what makes them happy most of the time of time but then there is a “blowing point”. How can I do what refreshes meand makes them feel loved when they conflict?

  • talking on the phone!

  • Jenny

    My pigeon of discontent is other people’s negativity. I’m sensitive to the mood of a room and sometimes struggle to hold onto happiness when faced with too many glass-is-half-empty viewpoints. It’s even harder when interacting with those who seem determined to see only the worst in a situation. Do you have any strategies to keep outside influences from pulling you down?

  • Nela

    Putting too many things on my to-do-list and then being frustrated at not getting “enough” done.

  • Evisen

    My pigeon of discontent is how to separate myself from negative talking work collegues. Any good ideas? It is hard not to get caught up in the negative chatter at times, especially if there is issues in your work place that are not being addressed and dealth with, just left to fester, and are out of your control…

  • Lisa

    My pigeon of discontent is that it seems impossible to make a fully informed decision when hiring a business to do work for you. They tell you what you want to hear when trying to sell their service despite doing your research and asking a ton of question you find out the ‘hidden’ costs after you have hired them. Then they say, ‘well you didn’t ask the right questions’. How is this fair and just, and it seems to be happening more and more. There seems to be no recourse either. How do I let this anger go and move on or trust the next business I need to work with?

  • Debby

    I need to exercise. I have the time, the walking DVDs, the bike sitting in a stationary trainer in the living room with a fully charged iPod. I have a pedometer if I walk outside. I go to yoga class once a week, but hate the gym and won’t sign up, because I know I would never go.

    I just can’t make myself do it, no matter how many rewards I promise myself, no matter that a few of my favorite skirts no longer fit, and it would be the best thing in the world for me to do. I’ll clean my bathrooms, empty the dishwasher, and do just about anything else to avoid it.

  • Oh my God! Doing homework! I’m doing my MBA and thank God I’m about to finish it, but i hate homework so much. When I have to do it I spend minutes or hours reading or watching stuff on the internet just to NOT DO my homework. Actually, I’m doing that right now, so I better get going 🙂

  • Alison

    My pigeon is what to do with all the birthday cards, thank you cards, Christmas cards, Easter cards, general cards that we get sent. I can’t bear to throw them out because people have taken the time and effort to be thoughtful and write beautiful words and cards aren’t cheap. I literally have 39 years worth of cards clogging up my life now and it’s happening all over again with my little daughter.

    • Karen Baker

      I have finally found a solution to this that works for me.

      I now keep only a handful of the most precious cards in a special box and scan others that are particularly thoughtful or memorable into Evernote using a nifty little Fujitsu ScanSnap scanner which I plug into my laptop. The scanner is so light it will fit into my briefcase and so speedy and simple that I can whizz through a pile of cards whilst cooking supper or lounging on the sofa.

      I’ve started using Evernote to keep a simple monthly scrapbook, recording events great and small, funny and poignant, during slivers of time. I import photos and scan cards and other ephemera (such as tickets, programmes, hand-written notes and menus) into these events so I can look back on them in context.

      I enjoy ‘proper’ scrapbooking but rarely have the time, added to which there are things I don’t want to scrapbook but do want to recall.

      For example, I found this the perfect way of preserving the lovely sentiments we received last year when my mother died. Equally, I know I’ll love looking back on one of this month’s entries when my teenage daughter announced she’d invented a fictitious company for her marketing project, which sells microwaveable underwear and has been named ‘Toasty Buns’!

      I wish the technology had been around to do this when my children were small, particularly as I have a notoriously bad memory. I still have the massive ‘back-catalogue’ to go through, but at least I’m not adding to the piles of paper in the attic.

  • My current “pigeon” is clutter, especially the paper clutter piled on my desk. I can’t seem to find time to file it all, plus the file cabinet is difficult to reach and also needs decluttering. A few minutes a day would help. Just having trouble pulling the trigger.

  • TranscriberDame

    Somehow, over the years, people have gotten the idea that it’s OK to simply blurt out what they think of a person right in front of the person, out in public. When this happens in church, it irks me. Especially after Pastor just gives a sermon on how we should treat each other w/kindness and love. Often done by the drs. in my sm. community, but not limited to them. Also irritating when I stop and pick up work at the hospital, and can’t exit the place in 5 min. w/o hearing people pick one another to pieces and make the environment miserable!

  • Sandy

    Cloudy weather. My happiness always is dependent on whether the sun is shining. I check the forecast and begin fretting before the clouds arrive. Today I know that we are facing 2 more days of cloudy, rainy weather and I cannot settle into anything.

  • meg

    Hi Gretchen, Like you, I’d like to live “the bigger life” but I feel like by the time I get all my “musts” taken care of as a working mom; I have no time or energy to be “bigger.” Or, if i make a “bigger choice” for example to be a part of a book study group…my “must dos” begin to slip…ie we’re late for for daughters soccer game with a poorly packed soccer bag. How do I live a bigger life when my life feels very full (albeit mundane) as a working mother? I look at other working mothers (like you) who are living a big life and i wonder how you accomplish this….better time managment?

  • B_in_VT

    My pigeon of discontent is the state of my house. We moved a year and a half ago and while we’re unpacked and functioning and mostly tidy it’s just not really put together yet and there are a bunch of things I still can’t find. I keep trying tackle cleanup projects as I can, but it all takes such a long time given a) that I can only snatch a day here and there on the weekends to do it and b) my husband is just not interested in it so I have to expend a lot of relationship capital to have him help me when I need it. He’ll do it, and he’s never cranky about it, but I don’t feel like I can ask often. So things are just in a lingering mess. I reread chapter one of the Happiness Project periodically, getting some vicarious pleasure out of it! I think maybe watching home renovation shows on TV is compounding my frustration by giving me the equivalent of a body image problem for my house…maybe I should stop.

  • My pigeon is what I call “laundry mountain” — the giant pile of my boyfriend’s dirty clothes, which occasionally avalanches into our bedroom. Attempts at
    getting him to do laundry more often have failed, so, last weekend, I bought him
    a second laundry basket. Pigeon solved!

  • Is there a way to “follow” threads on these posts and get them in our email???

  • kt

    I don’t know if you would call this a “pigeon of discontent”, but I happened upon this post so here goes: I often have a tendency to think I am the ONLY one who “doesn’t have enough money” “has disagreements with my husband” “is afraid of getting old and/or sick” “is lonely” “has a messy house” “is living in debt” etc. etc. I have this idea that EVERYBODY else is living in bliss, holding hands and singing love songs, in the perfect marriage with the perfect house and family, while I slog on through each day just trying to get by. Please tell me I am not alone!!

  • therufs

    I feel like I’m bad at Adulting — things like getting my oil changed, scheduling dentist appointments, returning loaned items, taking clothes to the cleaners … general mundane stuff that Real Grownups have to take care of.

    Generally, nothing goes terribly wrong when I *do* get around to Adulting, so I suspect that the Pigeon of Discontent is more that I THINK I’m bad at it than that I actually AM.