21 Day Relationship Challenge – Day 20

Do Someone Else’s Task

Today’s resolution suggests that you “Do someone else’s task.” Once in a while, just as a treat, it’s nice to take care of a chore that’s usually someone else’s problem. It’s a gesture that builds good will, and a good reminder of what tasks others do.

If you tried this resolution, did it come naturally, or did it feel forced?

Did it make a difference to your happiness?

We can all learn from each other, so please post your experiences with the resolution in the comments section below.

  • The more I have learned to serve others and forget about myself, the happier I have become!

  • Jenni Swenson

    Crafts make me happy! So does decorating for the seasons and the holidays. I think we should partner up and share some craft happiness together!

  • Miljana

    O, yes! That is love, that is dedication, that is “one good thing, we have to do every day” to feel better, to be better persons. We, at my country, usually say, why not to do this, you’ll not fall crown of the head. Infact, we need not to understand that as dedication, just as some normal, common gesture. And not only when we want, than when someone need the help, too. And, that is not the theme but, it’s very important to help the people when they need the help, not when we decide to do some good, human work or around the Cristmas Day or Easter.

  • marissa

    we dont have assigned tasks in our house. however, he has his “areas” where he pilfers and i have mine. like his side of the desk or his nightstand. so while he’s at work, im going to straighten his messy desk. i hesitate to do too much because he has a method to his madness, but some general cleaning would help.

  • Julia

    Yesterday, I cleared out two upper drawers in a bedroom dresser. One was not serving any purpose other than holding things I could easily be rid of. This gave my husband a much needed sock drawer. The other drawer is my sock drawer, which I tidied up. This showed me that when I do a little something for someone else, that it usually carries over into a bonus for me too.

    My husband was totally surprised and grateful! Seeing his pleasure from something so simple, I want to tackle the rest of my husband’s dresser drawers. Mainly refolding and straightening up his t-shirts etc., which will be a easy task.

    BTW – I lined the sock drawers with a silver striped holiday paper, from a mega roll bought at the end of the season. As I put the paper in the drawers, I thought: I am providing a silver lining 🙂 happiness to be seen and remembered everyday. Call me corny.

    • Syl


  • Vitreous Stone

    I regularly take my dishes back to the counter in the shops I eat in. I have been told this is an insult to the serving staff. When I explain I’m trying to give them a break from the 2,000 trips to do this they take in a day. They all say Thank you and get cheeky. I believe any help makes both sides feel better. The more me mE ME we get the more important it is. Thank You. Suzanne Wilkinson Vitreous Stone.

  • A patient butterfly

    I’m struggling with Day 20 resolution. In my past, I have been the one person who did it all and expected nothing in return. There was not a lot that was even asked of others. I was so dependable and reliable that it became expected. I have been taken for granted.

    For the past few years, I have made changes within myself and need others to share the responsibilities and kind acts. I am needing people who want to give and take rather than love to take. I have slowly made changes to try and correct my old habits and hope that her ideas will be tackled by my loved ones. But, there is an obvious unblance of responsibilities and expectations. I have lived a my life doing a lot of her resolutions and have discovered that my loved ones are unwilling to do things differently.

    I believe and practice her concepts, but I often wonder if Rubin’s happiness project would work if she were working with people who don’t want to learn a different way to live? She always has a part that states that this would only work if balanced or shared. My family, unfortnatley, happens to be so stuck in their own shames, that I don’t see much changing for them. And this….makes me unhappy.

    • gretchenrubin

      This is a really tough situation. Hang in there.

  • Kittee

    This really works! It is a great mood booster for the relationship. I love coming home to find an emptied dishwasher (usually my task) and I enjoy seeing the happiness on his face if I’ve taken out the recycling or garbage. Such a simple” easy suggestion that truly lightens the atmosphere of your household! Thanks for the reminder to do this more!

  • arden greenspan

    Since my husband has retired, he has taken over doing the dishes, driving me all over the place, to work etc., making a wonderful fruit drink each morning. He won’t let me do that stuff. He loves when I cook and he the cleaner up dude.
    He does so appreciate the small acts of kindness, a smile, a kiss a verbalization of my gratitude and appreciation. I do as well. Good stuff!

  • Sam

    I wonder how many men are doing this 21 day challenge? I have found some of the posts in this challenge helpful, but some feel a bit like those 1950s how to be a good wife pamphlets. Do someone else’s task is a nice idea, but what if the balance is already pretty skewed and most of the chores are “yours”? And you already often do a fair few of the tasks that are supposed to be your partners?