Story: The Fact Is, It’s Nice to Be Appreciated.

This week’s video story: It’s nice to be appreciated. Even if you don’t do something for the recognition — the recognition is nice.

How I love stories when virtue is rewarded! Here’s the one that I mention in the video, that I already posted, and here’s one for today:

Note that my friend’s acts of kindness weren’t “random acts of kindness “; they were very specific. But they were very kind.

How about you? Have you ever recognized — or been recognized — in this way?

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  • HEHink

    Absolutely, give the gold stars whenever you can! Sometimes they will come back to you. I have lived in several rural Alaskan communities in the last 18 years. A couple years ago, some of my former 4th graders from one community traveled to where I live now for the regional high school music festival, and they stayed in my classroom here a couple of nights. It was great to see how they had grown into such polite, hardworking, respectful young people, so I wrote a letter to their community’s newspaper complimenting their behavior and their musical performances. This was a gold star not only for the students, but also for their parents, teachers, and music director. A friend who travels to work in both places later told me the letter was very well received, and she had heard several appreciative comments about it, which in turn made me feel good about sending it. That wasn’t why I did it – I truly felt the kids deserved the recognition – but it was nice to feel the circle of positive feelings it created, as well.

    • gretchenrubin

      What a lovely story.

  • Gillian

    Several years ago, I was on the receiving end of a kindness that the giver probably didn’t even perceive as such. On a Saturday shortly before Christmas, I stopped by a small supermarket to pick up only a very few items. The store was busy, the checkout was slow and I was impatient and in quite a cranky mood. An older man in front of me at the checkout turned to me and made a remark. I don’t remember what he said – just some idle chit-chat, a pleasantry. For some reason, that friendly remark turned my mood around 180 degrees. Instantly, and surprisingly, I was no longer impatient or cranky; I left the store in a cheerful mood. I often remember the positive effect of such a simple gesture and wish that I had run after the man and thanked him.

  • Penelope Schmitt

    Hey, I even like it when people ‘like’ my Facebook posts! I do think most of us ‘do right’ or ‘do good’ without expectation, and it is a huge bonus to be recognized for what we do, for who we are, and for any good we bring into the world.

  • This happened to me last week. I was on a crowded subway to Port Authority to take a bus. I usually don’t sit down on the trains because I figure that someone else can always take the seat who needs it more than me (and also, I was going to be sitting down for a long time anyways once I get on a bus).

    This one day happened to be especially rushed with a lot of seats taken by people on field trips and tourists. Anyways, the train was delayed, which meant that even more people were waiting on the platform in the next station. When the doors opened, people rushed in to get seats that were only recently left vacant. I watched a lot of people sit down, a lot of people doing so in relief. As the train started a man next to me said, “Hey” and then proceeded to give me a thumbs up, a wink, and mouthed “Good job.” I couldn’t believe it! I had been having a rough week and it meant so much to me for him to do that. When he got off at the next station he said to me “Good luck” and went on his way. To have a positive interaction like that, let alone in New York, meant a lot to me.

    Thank you for giving me the chance to first remember this wonderful memory and to second share it with others.

  • JoK

    I don’t know, I think I would be embarrassed for someone to make a comment about an act of kindness that I did (a thank you from the person helped would, of course, be appreciated). I would automatically want to defend myself against the perceived allegation that I had done a good deed in order for it to be noticed, and I would also feel that I was being patronised. A ‘Good job’ from a stranger would make me very uncomfortable. Does anybody else feel like this? I’m from the UK. Perhaps it is a cultural thing?

    • I also live in the UK, and I agree that there is a cultural element. I like it (see my comment), and it has happened to me here. I think it probably happens less, but that makes it mean more to me! Then again, I grew up in California, and perhaps I elicit chat from strangers 😉

  • Shannon

    I try to do nice things for people on a regular basis, for the simple reason it makes me feel good! But, I have to admit that it’s nice to be recognized/appreciated!

  • I love this story so much! And all your other videos too. 🙂 I can’t deny that wanting to feel appreciated is important to me. Like your friend, I’m not trying to get noticed, but I often see kindness being taken for granted…or taken advantage of.

  • I completely agree — it’s oh so nice to get gold stars! I have had two parenting experiences that really stick in my mind because a stranger gave me a gold star. Once was when son was 4 months old, and howling on the bus. It was crowded, there was a hectic feeling. When we got to our stop, it was trying to get past people and off the bus. Another passenger who also got off said to me, “Well done Mummy, you stayed so calm!” I just about cried with gratitude.

    Another time my son, now 5, started swinging on a bar in the changing room when we were getting ready to go swimming. I had already told him that he was not allowed to do this — it wasn’t safe. So instead of going for 10 minutes of play swimming before his lesson, I made him sit with me in the changing room doing nothing at all. He cried and complained. It wasn’t pleasant. On the way to the lesson another mother said to me, “That was some of the best behaviour management I’ve every seen. Well done!”

    Now, I must remember to give others gold stars more often!

  • Kay

    A kind act, however minor, can be a self- delivered gold star. I was shopping recently and helped an elderly man cross the road – he was walking slowly, on a cane and in the rain with no umbrella. I paused to offer to walk with him to keep him dry and he said no, not wanting to slow me down but I waited and shuffled across the road with him while he told me he’d had a stroke the year before. I was in an irritable mood prior and the experience left me with a smile on my face. So simple. And yet I nearly walked past him.

  • …and it’s soooo easy, to give apprecitiation. nice clip, well done, thx! 🙂