Podcast 91: Delete a Soul-Sucking App, and a Deep Dive into Happier 911 Songs

It’s time for the next installment of  Happier with Gretchen Rubin.

NOTE: This episode was recorded before Election Day 2016, which is why Elizabeth and I don’t mention it. The election has been unusually emotional and contentious. As with any milestone moment, it provides an opportunity for us to reflect about our own values, and how we can serve the highest ideals of our country and ourselves.

Update: Elizabeth and I discuss the site Longitude Books: Recommended Reading for Travelers, where you can find books related to your travels.

Try This at Home: Amy suggests “Delete or disable soul-sucking, productivity-depleting, creativity-sapping apps.”

If you want to hear the episode where Elizabeth and I discuss our “preciousssssss,” it’s episode 17.  We picked up this term from The Lord of the Rings. Whenever Gollum refers to the ring, he calls it “my precious.” “Losst it is, my precious, lost, lost! Curse us and crush us, my precious is lost!“ Want to see a ten-second clip of Gollum talking about his precious, from The Lord of the Rings movie The Two Towers? It’s here.

We talk about the Abstainer/Moderator distinction — you can read more here.

What app is your precioussss app?

Happiness Hack for the Holidays:  Make homemade place-cards.

Deep Dive into Happiness 911 Songs: To hear the Happiness 911 songs, the link is here, or you can search for “Happier 911” on Spotify. Currently more than 400 songs — that’s more than 26 hours of happy music.

Elizabeth’s  Demerit: Elizabeth hasn’t been going to the mindfulness class at her son’s school, even though she found it so helpful last year.

Gretchen’s Gold Star: Eleanor’s teacher took the time to send a positive progress notice.

If you want easy instructions about how to rate or review the podcast, look here.

Remember,  I’m doing weekly live videos on my Facebook Page to continue the conversation from the podcast — usually on Tuesdays at 3:00 pm ET. To join the conversation, check the schedule.

As always, thanks to our terrific sponsors

Sign up for The Great Courses Plus today and you’ll get a month of unlimited access to thousands of fascinating lectures taught by top professors and experts in their fields. Try it free for one month when  you sign up at www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/happier.

Also check out Stamps.com. Want to avoid trips to the post office, and buy and print official U.S. postage for any letter or package, right from your own computer and printer? Visit Stamps.com to sign up for a 4-week trial, plus a $110 bonus offer — just enter the promo code HAPPIER.

And check out Olive and Cocoa. Surprise someone you love with a meaningful gift today. Go to OliveandCocoa.com/happier to see gift options specifically chosen for our listeners — and for a limited time, you’ll get 10% off your purchase.

1pix

1pix

1pixHappier with Gretchen Rubin - Podcast #91

We love hearing from listeners:

 

To sign up for my free monthly newsletter, text me at 66866 and enter the word (surprise) “happier.“ Or click here.

If you enjoyed the podcast, please tell your friends and give us a rating or review. Click here to tell your friends on Twitter.

Listeners really respect the views of other listeners, so your response helps people find good material. (Not sure how to review? Instructions here; scroll to the bottom.)

How to Subscribe

If you’re like me (until recently) you’re intrigued by podcasts, but you don’t know how to listen or subscribe. It’s very easy, really. Really.  To listen to more than one episode, and to have it all in a handier way, on your phone or tablet, it’s better to subscribe. Really, it’s easy.

Want to know what to expect from other episodes of the podcast, when you listen to the award-winning Happier with Gretchen Rubin?” We talk about how to build happier habits into everyday life, as we draw from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, lessons from pop culture—and our own experiences (and mistakes).  We’re sisters, so we don’t let each other get away with much.

HAPPIER listening!

A Little Happier: Flannery O’Connor Writes About What Some Folks Would Do.

How I love the work of Flannery O’Connor. Her novel Wise Blood is one of my favorite books, and I also love O’Connor’s non-fiction. I’ve read The Habit of Being, her collection of letters, many times.

The passage I read is from her O’Connor’s essay “Writing Short Stories,” in Mystery and Manners:

I lent some stories to a country lady who lives down the road from me, and when she returned them, she said, “Well, them stories just gone and shown you how some folks would do,” and I thought to myself that that was right; when you write stories, you have to be content to start exactly there—showing how some specific folks will do, will do in spite of everything.

I don’t understand why these lines have haunted me for so long — but I think of them often — what some folks will do, will do, in spite of everything.

For instance, I thought about them a lot when I was trying to identify my Four Tendencies framework. It does explain what some folks will do.

If you’d like to hear O’Connor read her famous short story, “A Good Man Is Hard to Find,” it’s here.

Check out Yogi Tea. When it comes to enjoying life, little moments — like drinking a delicious cup of tea — can make a big difference.

Want to get in touch? I love hearing from listeners:

 

Happier listening!

“I Am Being Swept off My Feet at Last.” A Good Thing–or Not?

“ ‘Don’t you worry about me! I am as happy now as I have ever been, and that is saying a great deal. But the time has come. I am being swept off my feet at last,’ he added, and then in a low voice, as if to himself, he sang softly in the dark…”

— J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

If you know your Lord of the Rings trilogy (and we all should), Bilbo Baggins makes this remark to Gandalf, just after Bilbo’s 111th birthday party, as he’s leaving Bag End forever.

How I love that line! “I am being swept off my feet at last.”

A good thing, or a bad thing, to be swept off your feet at last? It could probably go either way.

Why the Smell of a Hallway Taught Me Something Important about Myself.

Yesterday, I went to the Panoply offices to record an episode of the Happier podcast in the studio there.

As I walked down the hallway to the water fountain, I was suddenly struck by a “Proustian memory” — a flood of remembrance triggered by a smell or taste.

For some reason, this hallway smelled exactly like the hospital where I worked as a candy-striper in high school. I hadn’t thought of that experience in years, and suddenly it came flooding back to me. (Gosh, what a funny term, I realize, so 1950’s–I just looked up the definition, and a “candy-striper” is a teenage girl who does volunteer nursing in a hospital. Yep, that’s what I did.)

And the strongest aspect of this memory was a sense of tremendous discomfort and a longing for release. At the time, I wouldn’t have said that I intensely disliked being a candy-striper, but looking back, I understand that I did.

I was constantly worried that I’d make a dangerous mistake (I didn’t realize that they never asked me to do anything that actually mattered). I wasn’t interested in medicine. I didn’t learn anything.

That scent in the hallway brought back so many memories…the cafeteria where I ate my lunch, the look of the elevators, the noises of the machines, the feeling of dread, all of it.

And those memories made me think of the Four Tendencies — after all, everything reminds me of the Four Tendencies these days.

I’m an Upholder, and we Upholders find it pretty easy to get ourselves to do things, even things we don’t particularly want to do.

This is one of my favorite things about myself. It’s one of my greatest strengths.

And, I’ve learned, it’s also one of my greatest weaknesses.

Sometimes I’m too good at getting myself to do things that I don’t want to do.  Even though I don’t want to do them, I push myself, instead of thinking, “Hmmm, maybe this isn’t what I should be doing after all. Maybe I should do something else.”

That’s what I’ve seen, more and more clearly, with the Four Tendencies — and with all aspects of human nature. Our strengths are our weaknesses. Our gifts come with a shadow side. The more I can recognize that in myself, the better off I’ll be.

How about you? Do you find that your strengths are the same thing as your weaknesses?

I continue to be fascinated by the sense of smell. So often overlooked, so powerful.

Speaking of the Four Tendencies…

Don’t know if you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger or Rebel? You can take the Quiz here. More than 500,000 people have taken the Quiz.

–Are you as interested in the Four Tendencies as I am? Want to learn about how to harness it to manage yourself better — and to manage other people better?

Check out my app, Better!

Go here or search “Better Gretchen Rubin” in the app store. Lots of info about the app here. And if you need accountability (Obligers!), you can join an Accountability Group within the app.

Want to be notified when my book The Four Tendencies hits the shelves in fall 2017? Sign up here, and I’ll let you know. I’m finishing the book now.

Podcast 90: Very Special Episode on the “Essential 7” for Happiness and Good Habits.

It’s time for the next installment of  Happier with Gretchen Rubin.

NOTE: This episode was recorded before Election Day 2016, which is why Elizabeth and I don’t mention it. The election has been unusually emotional and contentious. As with any milestone moment, it provides an opportunity for us to reflect about our own values, and how we can serve the highest ideals of our country and ourselves.

Update: To hear the Happiness 911 songs, the link is here, or you can search for “Happier 911” on Spotify. Currently at 397 songs — that’s almost 25 hours of happy music.

podcastt-shirthappierblackIf you want to buy a Happier t-shirt, email us here, and we’ll get your information.

Every tenth episode is a Very Special Episode. For this VSE, we talk about the “Essential Seven,” the seven areas in which just about every desirable habit falls.

Try This at Home: Figure out what you’d do using the Essential Seven, to make your life happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative:

1. Eat and drink more healthfully (give up sugar, eat more vegetables, drink less alcohol)

2. Exercise regularly

3. Save, spend, and earn wisely (save regularly, pay down debt, donate to worthy causes, make purchases that contribute to happiness or habits, pay taxes, stay current with expense reports, take classes to expand career options)

4. Rest, relax, and enjoy (pursue a hobby instead of cruising the internet, enjoy the moment, stop checking email, get enough sleep, spend less time in the car, take time for myself)

5. Stop procrastinating, make consistent progress (practice an instrument, set aside two hours daily for uninterrupted work, learn a language, maintain a blog, keep a gratitude journal)

6. Simplify, clear, and organize (make the bed every day, file regularly, put keys away in the same place, recycle, give away unused clothing) If you want listen to Episode 10, the clutter-clearing episode, it’s here.

7. Engage more deeply—with other people, with God, with yourself, with the world (call family members, read the Bible every day, volunteer, spend time with friends, observe the Sabbath, spend time alone in nature)

Of course, the same habit might satisfy different needs for different people. For one person, yoga might be a form of exercise (#2), for someone else, a way to find mental rest (#4); for someone else, a spiritual practice (#7). And people value different habits. For one person, organized files might be a crucial tool for creativity; another person finds inspiration in random juxtapositions.

Gretchen’s Demerit: I invoke the False-Choice Loophole to skip the gym.

Elizabeth’s Gold Star: Adam discussed a renovation decision at length, because he knows that Elizabeth likes to talk things through.

If you want easy instructions about how to rate or review the podcast, look here.

Remember,  I’m doing weekly live videos on my Facebook Page to continue the conversation from the podcast — usually on Tuesdays at 3:00 pm ET. To join the conversation, check the schedule.

1pixHappier with Gretchen Rubin - Podcast #90

As always, thanks to our terrific sponsors

Check out Olive and Cocoa. Surprise someone you love with a meaningful gift today. Go to OliveandCocoa.com/happier to see gift options specifically chosen for our listeners — and for a limited time, you’ll get 10% off your purchase.

Check out Stamps.com. Want to avoid trips to the post office, and buy and print official U.S. postage for any letter or package, right from your own computer and printer? Visit Stamps.com to sign up for a 4-week trial, plus a $110 bonus offer — just enter the promo code HAPPIER.

1pix

1pix

1pix

We love hearing from listeners:

 

To sign up for my free monthly newsletter, text me at 66866 and enter the word (surprise) “happier.“ Or click here.

If you enjoyed the podcast, please tell your friends and give us a rating or review. Click here to tell your friends on Twitter.

Listeners really respect the views of other listeners, so your response helps people find good material. (Not sure how to review? Instructions here; scroll to the bottom.)

How to Subscribe

If you’re like me (until recently) you’re intrigued by podcasts, but you don’t know how to listen or subscribe. It’s very easy, really. Really.  To listen to more than one episode, and to have it all in a handier way, on your phone or tablet, it’s better to subscribe. Really, it’s easy.

Want to know what to expect from other episodes of the podcast, when you listen to the award-winning Happier with Gretchen Rubin?” We talk about how to build happier habits into everyday life, as we draw from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, lessons from pop culture—and our own experiences (and mistakes).  We’re sisters, so we don’t let each other get away with much.

HAPPIER listening!