Podcast 59: Find a Lucky Charm, Distract Yourself for 15 Minutes, Listener Mantras, and Godparent Guilt.

It’s time for the next installment of  “Happier with Gretchen Rubin.

Update: Elizabeth is still in New York City, as she works on her pilot. We also talked about the new mini-episodes I’m doing every Monday morning. Two or three minutes to help you start your week “A Little Happier. (As always, it’s a huge help if you rate or review. Not sure how? Scroll down, here.)

Try This at Home: Find your lucky charm. (Sidenote: I was surprised to learn that Elizabeth wears her wedding ring only occasionally. Do you wear your wedding ring all the time?) What’s your lucky charm? I mention CB I Hate Perfume. Beautiful scents! But alas, I don’t think you can buy the Hay accord online.

craftservicesBetter Than Before Habits Strategy: The Strategy of Distraction. Particularly helpful for fighting cravings. As promised, here’s a photo of Elizabeth at craft services. You can’t see the huge amount of food that’s there.

Listener Answers: In episode 57, we talked about the try-this-at-home of “choosing a daily mantra,” and listeners sent in so many great mantras.

 Gretchen’s Demerit: Elizabeth wants to be a better godparent.

 Elizabeth’s Gold Star: Jamie gets a gold star for knowing exactly how to make me less crabby.

As always, thanks to our terrific sponsors

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1pixHappier with Gretchen Rubin - Podcast #59

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How to Subscribe

If you’re like me (until recently) you’re intrigued by podcasts, but you don’t know how to listen or subscribe. It’s very easy, really. Really.  To listen to more than one episode, and to have it all in a handier way, on your phone or tablet, it’s better to subscribe. Really, it’s easy.

Want to know what to expect from other episodes of the podcast, when you listen toHappier with Gretchen Rubin?” We talk about how to build happier habits into everyday life, as we draw from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, lessons from pop culture—and our own experiences (and mistakes).  We’re sisters, so we don’t let each other get away with much.

HAPPIER listening!

A Little Happier: Tell Me What You Want for Dinner.

It feels like a paradox: sometimes, by being more demanding, we’re more giving. Being very specific about what we want allows others to revel in the pleasure of giving.

I hope you’re enjoying the new mini-episodes. I love doing them.

Want to get in touch? I love hearing from listeners:

 

Revealed! Three Terrific Books to Read in April.

For all the books I choose, I love them; I’ve read most of them at least twice if not many times; and they’re widely admired. Because nothing boosts happiness more than a great book, each month, I suggest:

  • one outstanding book about happiness or habits
  • one outstanding work of children’s or young-adult literature–I have a crazy passion for kidlit
  • one eccentric pick–a widely admired and excellent book that I love, yes, but one that may not appeal to everyone

 

Shop at IndieBound, BN.com, or Amazon (I’m an affiliate), or your favorite local bookstore.

Or my favorite, visit the library! In fact, for my second episode of “A Little Happier” — the new 2-minute mini-episodes of my podcast I’m doing each week — I talked about how much I love going to the library. Listen here.

Drumroll…

A book about happiness, good habits, or human nature:

Letters from a Stoic by Seneca

Buy from IndieBound; BN.com; Amazon.

 

An outstanding children’s book:

Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbit

Buy from IndieBound; BN.com; Amazon.

 

An eccentric pick:

American Gods by Neil Gaiman

Buy from IndieBound; BN.com; Amazon.

 

Some readers have said that they wished that I’d describe and make the case for my book choices, instead of just providing links. I’ve noticed that many times, when someone describes a book to me, I want to read it less. And often, weirdly, the better a book is, the worse it sounds.

Nevertheless, because so many readers have requested it, I’ve decided to give a bit more context for these choices in the book-club newsletter. So if you’d like to know more about why I made these selections, check there. To get that free monthly book-club newsletter, and to make sure you don’ t miss any recommendations, sign up here.

If you read last month’s recommendations…what did you think?

Podcast 58: Special Guest Host, Eliza! Plus, Find an Area of Refuge, the Pressure of Birthdays, and How to Get Up Earlier.

It’s time for the next installment of  “Happier with Gretchen Rubin.

Update: Elizabeth is still in New York City, but her schedule is so crazed, as she’s shooting the pilot, that my seventeen-year-old daughter Eliza stepped in as a guest host.

Eliza was a guest on episode 30, and she also has her own podcast, the very interesting Eliza Starting at 16, about the world from a teenager’s perspective. (She does the whole thing herself! Which I find very impressive.)

HenryRecordingLibraryTo make things even more complicated, we had to record on a weekend, and our studio is moving to a different location, so Henry had to a) work on a Sunday and b) record in my apartment. Double gold star for that.

Last week, a listener asked a question about how to solve the problem of “The Chair,” where not-dirty, not-clean clothes pile up. The overwhelming answer from listeners? Use hooks.

1pixarea of reguge signTry This at Home: Find your “area of refuge.” Here’s the photo of the sign I saw at Yale Law School. What’s your area of refuge? I have to say, Eliza’s area of refuge — watching make-up videos — wouldn’t work for me. But re-reading children’s literature doesn’t work for Eliza. We’re all different.

Happiness Stumbling Block: Eliza felt a lot of Facebook pressure related to her recent 17th birthday.

Listener Question: “I’m an Obliger, single, who is struggling to get up earlier. Suggestions?”

 Gretchen’s Demerit: For one day, I forgot about the importance of sunscreen. Note to self: sunscreen is very important.

 Elizabeth’s Gold Star: Perhaps surprisingly, Eliza gives a gold star to her school’s college counseling office. She now feels much better about the college application process.

As always, thanks to our terrific sponsors

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1pixHappier with Gretchen Rubin - Podcast #58

We love hearing from listeners:

 

To sign up for my free monthly newsletter, text me at 66866 and enter the word (surprise) “happier.“ Or click here.

If you enjoyed the podcast, please tell your friends and give us a rating or review. Click here to tell your friends on Twitter.

Listeners really respect the views of other listeners, so your response helps people find good material. (Not sure how to review? Instructions here; scroll to the bottom.)

How to Subscribe

If you’re like me (until recently) you’re intrigued by podcasts, but you don’t know how to listen or subscribe. It’s very easy, really. Really.  To listen to more than one episode, and to have it all in a handier way, on your phone or tablet, it’s better to subscribe. Really, it’s easy.

Want to know what to expect from other episodes of the podcast, when you listen toHappier with Gretchen Rubin?” We talk about how to build happier habits into everyday life, as we draw from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, lessons from pop culture—and our own experiences (and mistakes).  We’re sisters, so we don’t let each other get away with much!

HAPPIER listening!

10 Things I’ve Learned in 10 Years of Blogging

Unbelievable! I just hit my tenth anniversary for this blog. I can’t believe it. The days are long, but the years are short. 

Certainly, when I started, I had no idea that I was embarking on an project that would become such a big part of my day, my identity, my writing career, and my relationships. In fact, I remember thinking, “Yes, I’m stressed out about writing these first posts, but that’s okay, because no one will ever read them.

That first post, “The Blog Begins,” is here, if you’re curious.

Here are ten things I’ve learned from ten years of blogging:

1. It’s often easier to do something every day than some days.

This sounds counter-intuitive, but I’ve found it to be very true. I write on this site most days, so I don’t debate with myself, “Today, tomorrow? I wrote last week, can I take this week off?” I know I have to write on my blog, so I do. In Better Than Before, I explore this phenomenon more.

2. People like to learn in different ways.

I’m a writer, and I like to provide ideas in text — and no surprise, that’s also the way I learn best. But I’ve found that some people prefer videos, some people prefer audio, some people prefer to get email, some people prefer social media. To reach a wide range of people, we have to think about all of that.

3. People are more wildly creative, insightful, and articulate than I could possibly imagine.

I’m constantly blown away by the comments I get from readers and listeners. Such fascinating stories, such astute comments.  I feel so lucky to live at a time when technology makes this kind of engagement so easy, because it has has deepened my understanding of my subjects immeasurably. To take just one tiny example, when I asked people, “What’s the motto of your Tendency?’ I got brilliant, hilarious answers. My favorite: “You can’t make me, and neither can I” for the Rebels.

4. It’s fun to have a consistent record — any kind of record — of the past.

onesentencejournalimage
I often look back to see what I wrote on my site on this date, some years ago. It’s so fun!  I think this is why my One-Sentence Journal: a Five-Year Record has proved so popular. Most people won’t keep a blog, or write long journal entries, but writing one sentence seems manageable and fun, and is enough to bring back memories.

5.For creativity, it’s better to pour out ideas rather than to dole them out with a teaspoon.

When I started blogging — and I confess, I still have this thought, sometimes, ten years later — I’d think, “This is a great idea. I should hold it back, so in case I ever run out of ideas, I’ll have something in reserve.” No! I have to trust in myself, trust that I’ll get more ideas. The more I do, the more I can do.  It’s one of my Personal Commandments: Spend out.

6. As a writer, the biggest challenge is to make readers aware that a book exists.

There’s so much to read, watch, and listen to these days — how does a person hear about a particular book? I’ve found that it’s very helpful to have my own way to connect with an audience that’s interested in my subjects.

7. An atmosphere of growth makes me happier.

In my Eight Splendid Truths about Happiness, the First Splendid Truth is:  To be happier, we must think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth. We’re happier when we’re growing: when we’re learning something, helping someone, improving something, making things better. With my blog, and also social media and my podcast, I have the feeling of learning new things, engaging in new ways, learning new skills, meeting new people, adding new identities to my sense of myself. Along those lines…

8. Novelty and challenge make me happier.

When I was writing The Happiness Project, I needed to use myself as a human guinea pig for the notion, often suggested by scientist, that novelty and challenge make people happier. I thought, “Well, that might be true for most people, but not for me.” To test the idea, I decided to start a blog — which seemed very novel and challenging to me. I figured I’d give it a short for three or four weeks, decide that it didn’t work, and abandon it — the way I abandoned my gratitude journal. But no! I realized that even for someone like me, novelty and challenge did make me happier. Of course, they also gave me moment of anxiety, frustration, and anger, but those feeling paid off. If you want to read about this, check out the chapter for March, “Aim Higher,” in The Happiness Project.

9. It’s true, as research suggests, that we’re happier when we have many aspects to our identity.

Having many identities protects us: if you get fired from your job, you can think, “People think I’m doing a great job at the church finance committee”; if you can’t play tennis anymore, you can think, “Now I have more time to garden.” Adding the identity of “blogger” (and then “podcaster”) to my professional identity was enormously energizing, interesting, and reassuring.

10. Don’t get it perfect, get it going.

The longest journey starts with a single step. Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. All these proverbs are true. When I was starting this blog, I was paralyzed by the desire to do everything right — and there were so many decisions to make! Finally, I decided, “I’m going to talk to a few smart people with blogs, and do whatever they do. I can change things later, if I want.” That was a great way to get started. It’s one of my Secrets of Adulthood: Most decisions don’t require extensive research.

To celebrate the tenth anniversary, I’ve pulled together a short e-book that features my favorite posts from the last decade. It was so much fun to choose what pieces to include.

You can order it here, for $1.99.

Sidenote: I just realized that my blog anniversary is the same day as the wedding anniversary for both my parents and my in-laws. That seems auspicious! Both couples have been married for more than fifty years.