So I started this week in the worst possible way. Did I "sing in the morning"? No. Did I "leave things unsaid"? No.
Before I was even dressed, I lit into the Big Man about…well, it’s too boring and complicated to go into.
I marched right past the sticky note in the bathroom that reminds me, “Tender and light-hearted.” I completely ignored the admonition from my hypnosis tape: “You can make your points more effectively with humor and affection than with irritation.” I worked myself into such a fury that I forgot my commandment, “Lighten up.”
The truly ridiculous part is that I’m angry about what he’s going to do (or rather, not do) in the future—not about anything he’s done already.
I listed the things that he was going to fail to do, then I must confess, launched into a tirade that included those deadly fighting words that you are never supposed to say: “You never…” and “You always…”
I called him twice on his cell phone before leaving to take the Big Girl to school, but I couldn’t reach him.
When I got back to my desk, I tried him again at the office. No answer. Then I tried his cell phone again. He answered in a cheery voice.
“Can you guess why I’m calling?” I asked.
“Yep. I’ve been watching you try to reach me. I saw my office phone ring, and then my cell phone ring. I said to Dan, ‘Look, that’s my wife calling me, to apologize.’”
“Yes!” I said with relief. “I do want to apologize. I feel terrible. I called you before, too.”
“I know, I saw that you were trying to call.” We both laughed.
I’m so glad that I did apologize. I felt much better.
But part of my work for the happiness project is to avoid needing to apologize—to manage my feelings and my behavior so I don’t do anything that makes me unhappy, later—but since I had such a big slip-up, at least now I feel like harmony has been restored.