Yesterday, I got a box full of the galleys of Happier at Home. (For you non-publishing industry folk, a galley is a pre-publication, preview copy of a book.)
This should be a thrilling moment, and it was thrilling, but at the same time, for some reason, it sent me into a bit of a panic. I could hardly bring myself to open a book. I get the same feeling when I have a piece run in a newspaper or magazine. Most writers seem to love the moment when they see their work "in print," but not me. I'm not really sure why. Am I afraid of spotting a mistake? Or seeing something that, by this point, I'd do differently? Maybe.
Do you ever experience that? Something that seems to make other people wildly happy—that you think "should" make you happy—for some reason, doesn't?
Nevertheless, getting the galleys is an important marker on the road to publication, so it's exciting as a milestone. And it make me think grateful thoughts, as I do at least fifteen times a day, about how lucky I have work that I love so much. I'm so grateful to have galleys! even if they do make me uneasy.