Gretchen Rubin

Secret of Adulthood: Lose Yourself to Find Yourself.

Secret of Adulthood: Lose Yourself to Find Yourself.

From Further Secrets of Adulthood.

I think this Secret of Adulthood operates on more than one level.

One way that I "lose myself" is by reading -- I lose myself in a book, and I find myself in a book. Or music, sports, drawing, cooking...there are many ways to do this.

And also, sometimes we have to lose our way in order to find our way.

I'm reminded of the e. e. cummings poem, "maggie and milly and molly and may":

maggie and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn’t remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
it’s always ourselves we find in the sea

I especially love that last stanza.

How about you? Do you lose yourself--to find yourself?

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