In my book The Happiness Project, I write about my resolution to “Celebrate holiday breakfasts.” And this morning, I set the table for a Halloween holiday breakfast.
I do these holiday breakfasts for all minor holidays—it’s festive, and also fun and easy. I always use food dye to color some food or beverage in a holiday-themed color (this morning: black peanut butter). I re-use the same decorations every year, so I don’t have to spend money or do errands. I have a very precise place in the kitchen where I store my holiday-breakfast decorations, so I don’t have to scramble to find anything.
Studies show that traditions are important to family happiness. Family rituals encourage children’s social development and boost feelings of family cohesiveness by 17%. They help provide connection and predictability, which people—especially children—crave. Without traditions, holidays don’t feel much different from ordinary life. Holiday breakfasts give a big happiness boost, without much effort.
But this year was a little different. Instead of setting the holiday breakfast for two daughters, I was setting it for one daughter. Now that Eliza’s in college, it’s just Eleanor at the breakfast table.
And that was bittersweet.
One thing I decided, when Eliza left, was that I wanted to make sure to maintain fun family traditions for Eleanor—that I didn’t want to skip the effort, or decide that Eleanor was too old to enjoy it (unless she truly has outgrown something), or forget to create these little moments.
Time is passing so quickly; I worry that I won’t remember this time of life, what it’s like to have children this age, or that because I’m busy, I won’t take time for celebration. The days are long, but the years are short.
In fact, of everything I’ve ever written, my one-minute video, The Years Are Short, is the thing that resonates most with people.
One challenge of Eliza leaving for college is figuring out how to adapt traditions for the new situation. I want to maintain, but also evolve.
Do you have any little traditions that help you celebrate the holidays in a manageable way? Have you had to figure out how to adapt traditions, as your family changed?
If you want some tips for creating new family traditions (oxymoron alert!), here are some ideas.