Five Things Making Me Happy (Sibling bonds / Mariah Carey)

Hello,

Ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists agree: A key—and maybe the key—to happiness is having loving, enduring relationships. Any activity that strengthens relationships is likely to be a good use of our time, energy, or money.

That’s why I never miss a reunion if I can help it—and last week I attended my college reunion.

Beforehand, I had doubts (as I always do). I thought: It’s such a hassle to plan my travels; I’ll have to miss a day of work; maybe I won’t see anyone I want to see; I’ll have to figure out what to pack.

But I’ve been studying happiness for more than a decade, ever since I started researching The Happiness Project. In that time, I’ve learned an important lesson: Show up when I can!

I saw old friends, strengthened loose ties, and felt connected to my past. I reminisced, heard people’s news, and had coffee from the bookstore café Atticus, where I had coffee as college freshman.

I don’t often hear people talk about this aim, but for me, an important aim is to stay connected to my past. I want to feel that all times of my life are still part of me. A reunion is a great way to get that feeling of continuity; maintaining connections over time makes my life feel coherent.

Next up: law-school reunion.

Onward,

5 Things Making Me Happy

I’m very close to my sister Elizabeth, and one giant engine of happiness for me is working on the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast with her. I was interested to read this research in the New York Times showing that among people in their mid-60s, warmth between siblings can help boost well-being and buffer against loneliness. So one way to boost happiness? Take steps to strengthen a bond with a sibling.

I just discovered a terrific history podcast, You’re Dead to Me, which features fascinating and light-hearted discussion of historical subjects. The more we know, the more we notice, so after I listened to the episode “Hatshepsut,” I headed to the Metropolitan Museum to visit the gallery dedicated to works connected to Hatshepsut. Now that I know more about them, I could see them far more clearly.

Speaking of podcasts: I love the sense of hearing, and I’m a longtime fan of the podcast Twenty Thousand Hertz. The episode “Vocal Stratosphere” features all kinds of fascinating sounds, such as the highest and lowest sounds ever recorded by a human, Mariah Carey’s whistling sound, vocal fry, and throat singing, which I’d never heard before.

As someone who loves children’s literature, I was interested to see that in his “Why I Write” essay “Inadvertent,” Karl Ove Knausgaard (I read everything he writes) comments on Ursula K. Leguin’s brilliant novel A Wizard of Earthsea. He notes that it “not only left a deep mark on me but also gathers around itself a wreath of memories from an otherwise memoryless time.”

I went to a meeting in a skyscraper with a gorgeous view, and as I always do, I looked for the Statue of Liberty. I never take that sight for granted. If you’d like to hear a three-minute story I tell about my feelings about the Statue of Liberty, it’s here.

Updates

Kick off your summer fun with this month’s Habit Jump-Start in the Happier™ app. Starting Sunday, get seven days of prompts to help you explore your style of play, so you can incorporate more recess into your routine. It’s free to participate—download the Happier app and join in.
I’ve got a special surprise for the Super-Fans next week, and more to come this summer. If you don’t want to miss out, join the Super-Fan group.

This week on Happier with Gretchen Rubin

PODCAST EPISODE: 433

We discuss a counter-intuitive and creative way to boost our spirits, and talk about a terrific hack for people who need to decide where to move. Also, we share many listener suggestions about how to communicate effectively with a Rebel father who won’t use his wheelchair or his medical-alert device.

Listen now>