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Podcast 191: Identify Your Pacesetter, Write a User’s Guide to Yourself, and How to Cut Back on the Nightly Wine-Drinking Habit.


Update: I'm very excited that The Happiness Project Tenth Anniversary Edition is about to hit the shelves. It has a lot of new materials, such as an update about what has happened in the past ten years, more resources, etc. It's a huge milestone for a writer to hit this kind of anniversary.

If you're planning to give a copy of this book as a gift, it's never too early to request a personalized, free bookplate to put in it—these take time to prepare, so I like to get them done well before holiday season if possible. Sign up here. U.S. and Canada only, I'm afraid—mailing costs.

Try This at Home: Find your pacesetter.

We mention two episodes of the Happier in Hollywood podcast: in episode 71, Liz (a/k/a Elizabeth) and Sarah talk about having a "nemesis," and in episode 73, they talk about having a "professional crush."

If you want to check out my video courses—eight years later!—look here.

Happiness Hack:  Write a "user's guide" to yourself, to help your co-workers know how to work with you most effectively.

Happiness Stumbling Block: Our listener Whitney's mother wants to cut back on her evening wine habit. As it happens, many people want to change their alcohol-drinking habits to drink less.

If you want to see the list of the "Essential Seven" categories of habit-change, it's here.

I discuss many ideas from Better Than Before, my book about habit change. For instance, we talk about harnessing the power of the Strategy of Inconvenience, the Strategy of Abstaining, the Strategy of the Clean Slate, and the ever-popular Strategy of Treats.

The photo album I made of our Montana trip

If you want the "Checklist for Habit Change," the one-pager where you can mark all the strategies you can use to change an important habit, it's here.

Gretchen's Demerit: I didn't do anything special when my daughter Eliza came home from her sophomore year of college for the Columbus Day weekend. My mother does this, and it really means a lot to me, and I wish I'd done something to mark the occasion.

Elizabeth's Gold Star: Elizabeth gives me a gold star for making a photo album to commemorate the birthday celebration weekend we spent in Montana, to mark the milestone birthdays of our father and my father-in-law.


  1. Speaking of pacesetters, many people whom I look to as pacesetters have created workshops, so I’m very excited that I’ve done it now, too! My Four Tendencies Workshop is ready and waiting. It has received great feedback, and I can't resist quoting: 'The Four Tendencies workshop is incredibly well-designed. The slide-deck and facilitator guide are excellent. I received fantastic feedback from the attendees, many whom gasped and said things like 'Get out of my head' or 'Stop reading my mind' as I shared Gretchen's insights with them. I truly believe the Four Tendencies is a framework that benefits everyone, and it was fun being there for all of those 'ah-ha, lightbulb' moments, as well as those connections people made with each other in the group." Andrea Ballard, SPHR,, Workshop Facilitator
  2. If you'd like to read a free chapter from The Four Tendencies, to see if you'd like to read the whole thing, you can get it here.
  3. I do a weekly live show on Facebook called: “Ask Gretchen Rubin Live.” To join the conversation, check the schedule.

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