Update: Elizabeth and I reminisce about the trip we took together when I recorded a Super Soul Sunday episode with Oprah! Yes, I’m going to be on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday on November 8, 7:00 pm EST/PT on the OWN channel (find your station here). Please watch. I’ll be live-tweeting while it airs.
Boy, Elizabeth and I had fun on that adventure. But I have to admit, I can hardly remember anything from the interview; it was such an out-of-body experience. So I’ll be curious to see if I remember it, once I watch it.
To find out if you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel,
take the Four Tendencies quiz here.
Try This at Home: If you’re an Obliger, or you’re around an Obliger (which you surely are), help the Obliger to figure out a system of outer accountability so the Obliger can meet an inner expectation.
If you want to start a group for people who are holding each other accountable, get the starter kit here.
Strengths and Weaknesses of Obligers: How to identify and take advantage of the strengths, and counter-balance the weaknesses, of the Tendency.
Striking Pattern of Obligers: Obliger-rebellion. Obligers will meet, meet, meet, meet expectations — and then suddenly, they snap, and refuse to meet an expectation. This can be a symbolic, small act, or a hugely explosive act.
Listener Question: “I’m an Obliger, and I find that disturbing. I should be my own priority. Is it possible to move from Obliger to Upholder?”
Gretchen’s Demerit: After years of feeling bad about the fact that I don’t work very productively when I travel, I decided — hey, no more demerits, I’m going to use that time to read for fun.
Call for comments, questions, observations!
We’re spending four weeks talking about my Four Tendencies framework for human nature. One more week to go — Rebels! We’ve already had many thought-provoking responses, but we want more.
- Take the Quiz to find out if you’re a Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel here.
- Listen to Elizabeth and me discuss the framework here.
- Read the chapter on the Four Tendencies in Better Than Before
- Please, send in your questions and comments by voicemail, email, etc.
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We love hearing from listeners
Tell us — Did you help an Obliger (whether that’s you or someone else) to come up with a system of external accountability? If so, how?
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Want to know what to expect from other episodes of the podcast, when you listen to “Happier with Gretchen Rubin?” We talk about how to build happier habits into everyday life, as we draw from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, lessons from pop culture—and our own experiences (and mistakes). We’re sisters, so we don’t let each other get away with much!