Update: Congratulations to our beloved producer, Kristen Meinzer — her hilarious, addictive podcast By the Book got picked up! She and her co-host comedian Jolenta Greenberg choose a different popular self-help book and report what it’s like to live “by the book” — for their pilot, they lived by The Secret, next up, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Check it out, subscribe!
Every tenth episode, we do a “Very Special Episode” that’s different from our usual structure. For this VSE, we discuss listener questions about the Four Tendencies.
Want to listen to the episodes dedicated to each Tendency?
Upholder is episode 35 — “Are you like Gretchen and Hermione?”
Questioner is episode 36 — “Do you always ask why?”
Obliger is episode 37 — “Can you meet a work deadline, but can’t go running on your own?
Rebel is episode 38 — “Do you hate being told what to do?” Note: we weren’t able to interview a Rebel as part of that episode; if you want to hear from a Rebel, check out this interview with the brilliant Chris Guillebeau (bestselling author and host of the podcast Side Hustle School) about his perspective as a Rebel. Start listening at 25:15.
My book The Four Tendencies hits the shelves in September. As I mention (often!), if you’re inclined to buy the book, it’s a big help to me if you pre-order it. Pre-orders build buzz among booksellers, the media, and other readers; it makes a very big difference to the fate of a book.
Questions we discuss in this episode:
“How can a doctor quickly figure out someone’s Tendency?”
“How can I as an Upholder parent better understand my Rebel child?”
“I’m an Obliger who works for a Questioner. How can I feel less frustration?”
“As a Rebel, how can I tell myself to eat healthfully and exercise?”
“I’m an Obliger, and I’m resisting the new office policy that we show a badge. Is this Obliger-rebellion?”
“An Obliger friend keeps busting through her budget — because she owes it to other people to spend. What’s up?”
“I’ve realized that my Obliger Tendency is affecting my dating life, for instance, by being too accommodating. How do I create a balance?”
If you’re intrigued by the Four Tendencies, and want to join the lively discussion on the Better app, sign up! It’s free. You can start or join an accountability group (Obligers, I know many of you want to do that), ask questions, have discussions about your own Tendency or dealing with someone else’s Tendency.
Elizabeth’s Demerit: Elizabeth wanted to start hiking on the weekends with friends; it hasn’t happened.
Gretchen’s Gold Star: Gold star to everyone who has provided me with their perspectives, examples, and questions about the Four Tendencies. I have a lot more insight into other people — and myself.
Resources related to the FourTendencies:
- Try the Better app — it’s free, fun, and informative.
- Take the Quiz to learn your Tendency.
- Buy a Tendency mug — complete with the Tendency’s motto! So fun. (Scroll down.)
If you want easy instructions about how to rate or review the podcast, look here. Remember, it really helps us if you do rate or review the podcast — it helps other listeners discover us.
As always, thanks to our terrific sponsors
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Want to know what to expect from other episodes of the podcast, when you listen to the award-winning “Happier with Gretchen Rubin?” We talk about how to build happier habits into everyday life, as we draw from cutting-edge science, ancient wisdom, lessons from pop culture—and our own experiences (and mistakes). We’re sisters, so we don’t let each other get away with much!
Want a new podcast to listen to, with the same vibe as Happier? The Onward Project is the family of podcasts that I’ve launched, for podcasts that are about “your life–made better.” Check out these great shows: Side Hustle School and Radical Candor and Happier in Hollywood.