My Secrets of Adulthood—each one changed my life, once I figured it out.

What have I learned, with time and experience? Not much, I fear.
Here are my Secrets of Adulthood. Although these items may not seem particularly profound, each one was a revelation when I finally figured it out:
- The days are long, but the years are short.
- Someplace, keep an empty shelf.
- Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
- It's okay to ask for help.
- You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do.
- Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
- What you do EVERY DAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE.
- You don't have to be good at everything.
- Soap and water removes most stains.
- It's important to be nice to EVERYONE.
- You know as much as most people.
- Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
- Eat better, eat less, exercise more.
- What's fun for other people may not be fun for you -- and vice versa.
- People actually prefer that you buy wedding gifts off their registry.
- Houseplants and photo albums are a lot of trouble.
- If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
- No deposit, no return.
One Last Thing
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