What You Do Every Day Matters More Than What You Do Once In a While. | Gretchen Rubin [Skip to content](#content) [ ![](https://gretchenrubin.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/gretchenrubin-logo-768x344.png) ](https://gretchenrubin.com) - November 7, 2011 - [Secrets Of Adulthood](https://gretchenrubin.com/tag/secrets-of-adulthood/) # What You Do Every Day Matters More Than What You Do Once In a While. ![The Happiness Project Blog Logo](https://gretchenrubin.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/03/GR_THP_Blog_2006-2014_header_image.png) One of my Secrets of Adulthood is: **What you do *every day* matters more than what you do *once in a while*.** I’ve been surprised how often this “secret” comes in handy. Exercising—I have a friend who thinks she’s a regular exerciser because every several weeks, she goes to the gym for two hours. Nope! Having enough time to read—I used to think, “I love to read, it’s my favorite thing to do! Of course I make time to read.” But when I really examined my schedule, I realized I needed to clear out more time to read; day after day, it was getting shoved aside. In his fascinating book, *[House Lust](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/038551929X/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=thehappproj-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399369&creativeASIN=038551929X)*, Daniel McGinn notes that market researchers use the term **maximum-use imperative** to describe the fact that people will often buy something to accommodate a use that they need only rarely. So, for example, you might look for a house, or a dining room table, that’s big enough to seat your entire family when it’s your turn to host Christmas dinner, even though you have a family of four that’s dwarfed by that size. Along the same lines, I’ve noticed that when making decisions, I tend to give too much thought to what I do *once in a while* and not enough weight to what I do e*very day*. For example, I wear running shoes 29 days out of 30 days a month, yet I have three pairs of black flats and only one pair of running shoes. **Why does this matter for happiness? Because we’re happiest when our decisions most closely match our natures and our values.** If I splurge on linen cocktail napkins, but never have cocktail parties, I’m not going to be pleased with my purchase. If I tell myself I eat lots of fruits and vegetables, but actually eat lots of pizza and subs, I’m not going to fostering good health. If I insist that I love skiing, when in fact, I love staying inside reading, I’m not going to enjoy the vacation. It can be hard to be myself, to acknowledge what I really enjoy—it can be easy to let lofty fantasies get in the way. Again, I ask, why is it so tough to [Be Gretchen](http://www.gretchenrubin.com/2008/10/paradoxes-of-ha)? **If I pretend to myself that I’m different from the way I truly am, I’m going to make choices that won’t make me happy.** *From 2006 through 2014, as she wrote* The Happiness Project *and* Happier at Home*, Gretchen chronicled her thoughts, observations, and discoveries on* The Happiness Project Blog. #### YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE ![Gretchen Aphorism](https://gretchenrubin.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/DaysAreLongYearsAreShort_124845.jpg) [Secret of Adulthood: The Days Are Long, But the Years Are Short](https://gretchenrubin.com/articles/secret-of-adulthood-the-days-are-long-but-the-years-are-short/) ![Gretchen appearing on CBS to talk about Secrets of Adulthood](https://gretchenrubin.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Author-Gretchen-Rubin-on-how-to-find-order-calm-and-joy-in-everyday-life-4-12-screenshot-1-768x432.png) [Highlights from the "Secrets of Adulthood" Book Tour](https://gretchenrubin.com/articles/highlights-from-the-secrets-of-adulthood-book-tour/) ![blue and silver scissors beside blue and silver scissors](https://gretchenrubin.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/8cxjzvpgkk8-768x576.jpg) [Hacks for Facing Life’s Challenges: Proverbs of the Professions](https://gretchenrubin.com/articles/hacks-for-facing-lifes-challenges-proverbs-of-the-professions/) #### DISCOVER MORE # Like what you see? 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