I have an exciting announcement (at least, it’s exciting to me).
At long last, I can reveal the jacket for my new book The Four Tendencies! We worked long and hard on the design, the colors, and the subtitle. I hope you love it as much as I do. (But please, if you don’t love it, don’t tell me. Done is done.)
Now the book really feels real.
It has been endlessly fascinating to explore the Four Tendencies—to identify patterns, to gather strategies for each Tendency to use, to read people’s reports from their own lives. I created this framework—yet I must admit, I’ve been surprised by how accurate it has proved to be.
If you’re intrigued by the book The Four Tendencies and know you'll want to read it when it comes out, I very much appreciate pre-orders -- they really do make a difference for authors, by creating buzz among booksellers, the media, and readers. So if you think you'd be interested in the book, and you have the time and inclination, you can pre-order from one of the retailers below:
(By the way, did you notice how my pre-order message was tailored to appeal to all Four Tendencies? See if you can spot the language aimed at each type.)
If you're looking for an easy way to explain to a friend how the Four Tendencies can help you know yourself better or stick to a good habit, you can watch and share this video or the quiz:
The Better App is also great if you’re looking for an Accountability Group (Obligers, you know you need accountability!) you can join or start a group there. It is so interesting to read what people of different Tendencies report about how they manage conflict, deal with the downsides of their Tendency, deal with other people, etc.
I'm so grateful for everyone who has commented on my blog, in Live Facebook conversations, to the Happier podcast, and in the Better app to share the stories, experiences, questions, and insights that have helped me create strategies to help Obligers, Questioners, Upholders, and Rebels.
Readers and listeners, gave me a giant, invaluable trove of information and illustrations.
It was a reader who asked me if Questioners dislike being questioned. I'd never noticed that before...but why yes, they often do dislike it.
It was a reader who helped me understand the winning formula for communicating with Rebels: information-consequences-choice. (I'd already figured out the importance of identity.)
It was all the readers who kept asking me, after The Happiness Project was published, "How did you get yourself to do these things?" I was puzzled by this question. Well, I just...decided to do them. "But how?" they'd ask again. Now I know. I'm an Upholder.
And of course it was a friend who made the original remark that gave me my first insight into the existence of the Four Tendencies, when she said, "When I was on the high-school track team, I had no trouble showing up for track practice. So why can't I go running now?" I thought long and hard about that question, until I figured it out: Obliger.
So thank you, readers and listeners, for all your support, enthusiasm, and insight. As you'll see, The Four Tendencies is crammed with real-life examples of how actual people use the Four Tendencies to make their lives better -- and I wouldn't have been able to capture the rich, varied nature of people's lives with your engagement.
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Find out if you’re an Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, or a Rebel.
The Four Tendencies explain why we act and why we don’t act. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so understanding your Tendency lets us make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress and burnout, and engage more effectively.