Five Things Making Me Happy (My color pilgrimage / Lots and lots of snow)

One of my favorite habits is making a daily visit to the Metropolitan Museum. I feel so fortunate to be able to do it; I never take this opportunity for granted. I love the feeling of growing to know the museum, so I was delighted when my knowledge of its galleries allowed me to notice a small detail. I was listening to the audio-book of Louisa May Alcott’s novel Eight Cousins, and when I looked at the image accompanying it, I thought, “Wait, isn’t that painting in the American Wing?” On my next visit, I went to investigate—and indeed, it’s Robert Henri’s 1907 painting Dutch Girl in White.

Onward,

5 Things Making Me Happy

For years, on and off, I’ve been working on my project My Color Pilgrimage—and at last, it’s going out into the world (partly). During March on Substack, I’ll publish an exclusive series of short essays drawn from my longtime enthusiastic study of color. This is the first time I’m sharing this writing, and the full posts will be accessible only to paid subscribers. If you want to come on a color pilgrimage with me, sign up now. What a joy it was to work on this project!

Here in New York City, we got a second major blast of winter snow. My two college roommates had planned to stay overnight with me but ended up staying more, because their trains home were cancelled. Even the Metropolitan Museum closed for the day—so unusual. The entire city had a snow day.

Research shows that by the end of February, most people have abandoned their New Year’s resolutions. So I’ve re-framed February 28 as “Determination Day”—a day to re-engage with your resolutions. If you’re stalled on a big project, check out my new audio-book, Get It Done: How to Complete Your Dream Project, for guidance about keeping on track. Stay determined!

If you’ve taken my free, quick Four Tendencies quiz (more than 3.5 million people have taken it), you know whether you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel. If you have questions about your Tendency, check out this article for answers to some FAQs.

I love aphorisms and proverbs, and a friend reminded me of a painting I love: Neverlandish Proverbs by Pieter Bruegel the Elder (1559). On first glance, it looks like a crowded street scene, but on closer look, you see that it depicts humans, animals, and objects literally acting out more than a hundred Dutch-language proverbs and idioms. It’s fun to try to figure them out. See if you can spot a man “banging his head against the wall.”

THE HAPPINESS PROJECT SHOP

Flash Sale: 50% Off

Build habits that last with the Don’t Break the Chain tracker. Mark off each day you stick to your habit, and soon you’ll have a visual streak to help boost your motivation and show your progress. Sale ends tomorrow, February 28.

This week on Happier with Gretchen Rubin

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INTERVIEW

Michael Lynton and Joshua Steiner

Michael Lynton is Chairman of Snap and a veteran of the media and entertainment world. Joshua Steiner is a Partner at SSW Partners who has worked across government, finance, and nonprofits. Their new book, From Mistakes to Meaning: Owning Your Past So it Doesn’t Own You, is out now.

Q: Can you suggest something we might try to help ourselves to become happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?

We all make mistakes that lead to regret. Often the embarrassment and shame that they cause lingers long after everyone else has forgotten about what you did. Talking about the mistake and how it made you feel can lessen the discomfort, but it’s hard to start. Here’s a suggestion: try saying to a friend or family member, “I want to tell you about something that I did that I really regret. I don’t usually talk about what happened so this is very hard. For this first conversation, I’m not looking for a reaction. Just someone to listen. Here we go…” We hope that each conversation will get easier and will relieve the pain that you’ve felt.

Q: Do you have a Secret of Adulthood? A lesson you’ve learned from life the hard way; something you’d tell your younger self?

We wish we had known about the “spotlight effect,” which is when people overestimate how much people are paying attention to them. Imagine that you’re at a company picnic and spill ketchup all over yourself. The next day at the office you might think that everyone’s staring at you while you eat lunch to see if you’ll do it again. They almost certainly have other things on their minds!

Q: What simple habit boosts your happiness or energy?

We both grew up in communities that taught us to “repress for success.” Since we started talking more openly about our experiences and emotions we’ve noticed a significant benefit to our moods.

Q: Is there a particular motto that you’ve found very helpful?

“Curious not furious.” When someone upsets or offends us, we try – not always successfully – to wonder what motivated their behavior rather than just getting instantly annoyed.

Q: Has a book ever changed your life? If so, which one and why?

We both read Lord Jim at an early age. Conrad’s novel recounts the story of how a young man’s mistake haunts him for the rest of his life. Until we started working on our book, From Mistakes to Meaning: Owning Your Past So It Doesn’t Own You, we didn’t realize how profoundly that book had shaped the way we had tried to compensate for our mistakes.