Last week, I went down to Washington, D.C., for a panel about happiness and to attend memorial observances for Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. Both events were A) on the same day, B) timed so that I could attend both, and C) involved a train trip not a flight, so I didn’t have to worry about traveling through an airport. To me, this convergence counts as a modern-day miracle. I remind myself of my own Secret of Adulthood: Scheduling is life!
Onward,
5 Things Making Me Happy
I hadn’t known about this tradition, but after a Supreme Court Justice dies, the Court holds memorial observances, which I attended. A few clerks gave their moving and also hilarious reminiscences of working in Justice O’Connor’s chambers; the Solicitor General and the Attorney General provided tributes; the Chief Justice gave his own response. I so appreciated hearing these remarks honoring the Justice, but the afternoon was made particularly poignant for me when I realized that I may never have a reason to visit the Supreme Court again. Though I haven’t been a practicing lawyer for a long time, my ties to SOC kept me returning to this transformative place in my life. It’s hard to think, “Maybe this is the last time.”
In D.C., I also participated in a panel for the Semafor event, “The State of Happiness in 2026: Wellbeing in the Digital Age.” I love any opportunity to learn more about the state of happiness in the world—although admittedly this often means focusing on why people are feeling unhappy. Bonus: I got to goof around and eat snacks with my brilliant friends and co-panelists, Manoush Zomorodi and Jennifer Wallace. We talked shop about happiness and also about book-writing—check out their new books, Body Electric: The Hidden Health Costs of the Digital Age and New Science to Reclaim Your Well-Being and Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose.
One benefit of visiting Washington, D.C., is that its many Smithsonian museums are free. I had some time, so I ducked into the Smithsonian American Art Museum and stumbled across a terrific exhibit of the artwork of Anna Mary Robertson “Grandma” Moses. She began painting seriously when she was 78 years old—something to keep in mind if you’re starting something new in adulthood.
It has been so fun to share My Color Pilgrimage with the world. I’ve worked on this hooky project for so long. How I love color! The first four parts of the series are out now, and the last part is coming out soon. If you also love color, and want to learn more about its powers and mysteries—and some astounding facts— become a paid subscriber of my Secrets of Adulthood newsletter on Substack.
Writing Life in Five Senses, and my love of the sense of smell, has made me wonder: Why don’t we do more to use technological enhancements to our sense of smell? Dogs can sniff out bombs, drugs, cancer, and dangerously low blood sugar—surely there’s even more that could be done. So I was intrigued to read the Wall Street Journal article “The E-Nose Knows: AI Learns to Smell.”
AI can help us do a better of job of detecting hazards like benzene or mold; help olfactory-impaired people smell better (like “a cochlear implant for the nose”); pick up the scent signatures of various diseases and infections; and more fun than these other possibilities, create new fragrances.
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This week on Happier with Gretchen Rubin
PODCAST EPISODE: 579
Do You Have Trouble Making Plans with Friends? And How to Question a Questioner
INTERVIEW
Kiran Millwood Hargrave
Kiran Millwood Hargrave is the award-winning, bestselling novelist of The Mercies. Her latest novel, Almost Life is out now.
Q: Can you suggest something we might try to help ourselves to become happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?
Talk to yourself like you would a beloved child, or else a dear friend. Negative self-talk is the worst enemy of creativity, and this simple switch banishes all matter of calamities, from motherly guilt to crises of confidence.
Q: Do you have a Secret of Adulthood? A lesson you’ve learned from life the hard way; something you’d tell your younger self?
If something is free, you are the product. I think this has taken on a greater resonance recently, with the rise of AI, but even as a teenager I happily gave away my full name, date of birth, address, everything and anything, to take quizzes to tell me what character I would be in The Hunger Games (Finnick Odair), or what my true birth sign should be (Aries, also my actual one). I’m not being hyperbolic when I say our freedom of thought is under threat from tech companies, and we have to resist even if it makes life inconvenient.
Q: What simple habit boosts your happiness or energy?
Running toward the thing I’m dreading. At the low stakes end of the spectrum, going for a swim in near-freezing water or getting up at 5:30am when our daughter wakes up rather than guilt-tripping my husband (‘I pushed her out!’) into it. Both these are sheer delights once you lean – or jump – in. At higher stakes, saying yes to events or commissions that scare me, or taking on a new challenge in my writing or fitness (I recently started weightlifting) helps remind me how capable I am. I spent my twenties in a deep depression, and came to associate rest with getting healthy, but now I’m well I find sleeping too much makes me sluggish and sad. A shame, because I used to love naps!
Q: Is there a particular motto that you’ve found very helpful?
I am a big fan of mantras and mottos. When I was mentally ill, “this too shall pass” saved my life on several occasions. During labour, it was “I can, I will, I must, I am.” My current favourite is my trainer’s: “It is heavy, but I am strong.” Applicable to so many situations in the gym and out!
Q: Has a book ever changed your life?
Books have always been touchstones, talismans and guides to me, but the book that first changed my life was Coram Boy by Jamila Gavin. It was my first encounter with an untold version of history, and I realized how much I had left to learn, how important it was to constantly be curious and challenge my assumptions, and how whoever controls the narrative, has the power.
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