5 Things to Try This Month

 1 

Read a children’s book

A recent piece in the Atlantic makes the case that reading children’s books helps adults see the world in more flexible and creative ways. Coincidentally, I just started a new series on Substack about my deep love of young-adult and children’s literature. 

 2 

Packing cubes

Packing cubes are a tried-and-true hack for traveling. Use them to organize clothes by outfit, activity, person, clean/dirty, or whatever else makes sense for your trip. In addition to keeping your suitcase organized, they really do make packing and unpacking easier. Bonus tip: Leave some extra room in the suitcase for things you might want to bring home with you.

 3 

Declutter like an expert

If you find yourself struggling to declutter, you may benefit from trying a different approach. I partnered with the brilliant, hilarious Cas Aarssen of Clutterbug fame to create some resources to help different personality types manage clutter.

 4 

Treat yourself like a toddler

Take a nap, dress comfortably, make sure you stay fed and hydrated, don’t let yourself get too bored or too overstimulated. We all know what happens if you don’t make sure to manage the physical condition of a toddler! Well, we adults are very much the same.

 5 

Beware of an accidental stockpile

It can be easy to fall into the trap of stockpiling potentially useful items, like glass jars, mugs, notebooks, tote bags, or t-shirts. If you’ve accumulated a stockpile, decide how many of that item you realistically need, then donate, recycle, or toss the rest.

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INTERVIEW

Nicholas Epley

Nicholas Epley is a behavioral scientist and a professor at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. His latest book, A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection, will be released May 19.

Q: Can you suggest something we might try to help ourselves to become happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?

Talk to strangers. As Bill Nye, world-famous “Science Guy” once noted, “everyone you ever meet knows something you don’t.” And yet, we find in our research that people routinely (and often massively) are not optimistic enough about how much they’ll enjoy reaching out and connecting in conversation with a stranger, or how much they’ll learn in conversation.

As a result, there are often easy and safe opportunities we have to connect and learn from other people that we simply don’t take. I love asking people about the interesting places they’ve been to, about their hopes and dreams, and about who they love. If you don’t diddle around in small talk and genuinely try to get to know another person, then I think you’ll be very pleasantly surprised at how happy these conversations can make you feel, and how much you can learn from them.

Q: Do you have a Secret of Adulthood? A lesson you’ve learned from life the hard way; something you’d tell your younger self?

The best way to have a good day is trying to make someone else’s day better. The worst times in my life have come when I’ve gotten too self-absorbed in whatever I’m doing or trying to achieve. There’s absolutely a place in life for self-focus and ambition, but it’s the quality of your relationships that give you energy, purpose, and make life so well worth living. When I remember that, I’m a better person to other people and my life gets better in return.

Q: What simple habit boosts your happiness or energy?

Every morning when I arrive to work, I take a “hello” walk from the building’s front door to my office door. It requires me to put a smile on my face, to attend to other people, and to lift other people up a little bit by being friendly. I usually arrive at my office at the same time I would have otherwise, but with a little jolt of energy from the hellos and smiles I’ve gotten in return. Over the long run, I’ve also gotten to know many more people that I would have otherwise, and become better friends with the early-risers who have an office along the path to mine.

Q: Is there a particular motto that you’ve found very helpful?

Onward! I end every one of my emails with that signoff, serving as a brief reminder to keep moving forward in life. Doing scientific research can be hard. It’s slow, with lots of setbacks and challenges. Motivation and enthusiasm can lag. It’s critical to remember to keep moving forward and making progress rather than looking back and stalling out. So, onward! [GR: That’s how I do my email sign-offs, too! Because “onward and upward” is my final farewell at the end of every episode of the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. HAPPY minds think alike.]

Q: Has a book ever changed your life? If so, which one and why?

Tom Gilovich’s 1991 book, How we know what isn’t so: The fallibility of human reason in everyday life. (Amazon, Bookshop). When I was a senior in college, my undergraduate advisor, Chuck Huff, reach up to his bookshelf and handed me Tom’s book. “I think you might find this to be interesting,” he said. That turned out to be a massive understatement. I devoured Tom’s book in a couple of days. At the end of it, I decided that that doing research like this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Tom’s book descriptions how the psychological processes that guide our thought, beliefs, and attitudes can be disconnected in meaningful ways from reality, leading to systematic misperceptions and misunderstanding. I found the insights Tom was describing from psychological research to be mind altering. Later in my senior year, I applied to work with Tom in the Ph.D. program at Cornell University’s Department of Psychology. I was very fortunate to be admitted to the program off of the waitlist at the last minute and ended up having Tom as my Ph.D. advisor. Tom turned out to be every bit as wonderful a Ph.D. advisor as he is a researcher and writer. My career, and so many of the good things that have come from it, can be traced straight back to that fall of 1995 when I listened to Chuck’s suggestion: “I think you might find this to be interesting.”

Thankfully, at the age of fourteen or so, I realised that literature could provide me with much of what I’d previously been looking for in science – not least a hotline to the profound mystery of being human in a world of breathtaking complexity. Better still, there were some books which contained moments of revelation on almost every page.

There were specific books which started this journey – The Collected Poems of R S Thomas and the novels of Patrick White played a pivotal role – but it was the possibilities of literature in general which opened my eyes and altered my course.

Dive Deeper

READ

Tips for tackling sentimental clutter

LISTEN

A Simple Way to Spark Better Conversations

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Every Friday, Gretchen Rubin shares 5 things that are making her happier, asks readers and listeners questions, and includes exclusive updates and behind-the-scenes material. 

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