Here in the United States, we just celebrated the Semiquincentennial, the 250th anniversary of the country. This milestone got me thinking about my “America feeling”—the feeling I get it when I vote, or when I see the Statue of Liberty, or when I read the Preamble to the Constitution. I usually get so worked up that I actually get tears in my eyes.
Of my weekly “Little Happier” stories, several of my favorites are about my America feeling. So, as my own personal tribute to honor July 4, 1776, I’m revisiting them here, in very shortened form. To read the complete—though little—stories, click through.
Onward,
5 Things Making Me Happy
In the car, when my daughter Eliza played the song “The Farmer and the Cowman” from the 1943 musical Oklahoma!, I was overwhelmed by tears—and I get choked up every time I hear that song. Yes, the farmer and the cowman should be friends! For me, that song expresses one of the great dreams of the United States: “I don’t say I’m no better than anybody else./But I’ll be danged if I ain’t jist as good.”
One advantage of living in New York City is that I constantly see iconic sights. I’m going through my ordinary day, and suddenly I’ll see the Brooklyn Bridge, or the Empire State Building, or Carrie Bradshaw’s stoop. Like anything that we see every day, sometimes I take these landmarks for granted. But there’s one landmark in New York City that I never take for granted, and it seems to me that other New Yorkers don’t take it for granted either. And that’s the Statue of Liberty. Why?
One of the most transcendent experiences of my life was visiting the D-Day sites in Normandy. There, as I was reading a reproduction pamphlet of the 1944 soldiers’ guide, A Pocket Guide to France, I was overwhelmed by my America feeling. The pamphlet’s description of how the French people viewed the Americans coming to France filled me with love and hope for my big-hearted country.
I clerked for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, and at the end of her memorial service in 2023, we all sang “America the Beautiful.” I teared up as we sang the middle verse, which had words I hadn’t remembered.
Another song! I get my America feeling when I hear Captain von Trapp sing about his “Austria feeling.” In The Sound of Music, a movie I love, after Nazi leaders order Captain von Trapp to report to a German naval base, he and his family make plans to flee. As part of their escape ruse, they perform in a festival concert. The Captain sings “Edelweiss” (which, although it was written by Rodgers and Hammerstein, was presented as a national folk song or anthem that everyone knew). As he prepares to sing this ode to his country, at this very bleak hour of its history, he says to the audience: “I would like to sing for you now a love song. I know you share this love. I pray that you will never let it die.” He begins, and the whole audience joins in. This scene and this song remind me how our love for our country can burn brightly, even when events may look very dark.
This week on Happier with Gretchen Rubin
PODCAST EPISODE: 594
Becoming a fan—of sports or anything—can improve your happiness. We share listener tips for dealing with people who share every boring detail of their latest trip.
INTERVIEW
Laura Mayer
Laura Mayer is Head of Podcasts at Talkhouse. She has worked in “Big Podcasting” for as long as anyone can work in “Big Podcasting” and has developed more than a hundred podcasts throughout her career. She also wrote and hosted her own podcast, Shameless Acquisition Target, which inspired her new book, Tryhard: A Cautionary Tale of Clocking In and Spinning Out. Fun fact: when Elizabeth and I were just launching Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Laura was part of the team who helped us start, and she gave us invaluable guidance.
Q: Can you suggest something we might try to help ourselves to become happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?
People watch. If I’m feeling creatively blocked, unproductive, or generally down, I make time to sit somewhere and watch people go about their lives. You’ll observe small kindnesses, and funny things, that you wouldn’t have thought of when you were feeling low. You’ll always return happier when you embrace even casual curiosity about other people.
Q: Do you have a Secret of Adulthood? A lesson you’ve learned from life the hard way; something you’d tell your younger self?
Never negotiate with yourself. When you’ve promised yourself you’re going to do something (a key example for me: wake up at a certain time in the morning to take care of something non-essential, but good to do), don’t negotiate against your own promise when it comes time to do what you promised to yourself. It’s a waste of energy on both sides—why promise yourself something if you’re not going to do it/why disappoint past you! And you’ll always be happier when you follow-through on what your past-self knew would be best for future you.
Q: What simple habit boosts your happiness or energy?
I drink 96 oz of water a day. It has health benefits, particularly when I’m exercising regularly or it’s hot out. But there’s also something very motivating about being able to think to myself, when I remember to sip from my water bottle during the day, that I’m choosing to do something that is good for me.
Q: Is there a particular motto that you’ve found very helpful?
“I am here.”
Due to work situations, challenging parenting issues, personal issues, or just the sheer number of things one must do on any given day, I’ll sometimes lose touch with the fact that I am the person doing these things. I’ll get so caught up in the “doing” that it’s almost as if I’m viewing myself in a video game. I’ll forget that I can always return to myself. “I am here” is the phrase that I come back to when I feel overwhelmed in these ways. It also helps if, say, in a work situation I feel like my opinion is being overlooked, if I remind myself that, despite that, “I am here.”
Q: Has a book ever changed your life? If so, which one and why?
I first read Truman Capote’s In Cold Blood when I was in sixth grade. I re-read it at least once a year. What struck me then, and still now, is not the details of the crime at the center of the book. But rather the ability – through an author’s voice and description – for the everyday lives of seemingly unremarkable characters to come alive.
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