I’ve thought a lot about a conversation I had with a friend. I was surprised when she complained, “Whenever I ask my husband what he wants for dinner, he just says, ‘Everything you cook is good.'”

“Isn’t that a good answer?” I answered, puzzled.

“No! I wish he’d say, ‘I wish you’d make that curried chicken I love so much.’ Then it would be so fun to make it.”

I pondered this remark for a while. And then I figured it out.

It can feel very non-demanding and accommodating to say “Oh, whatever is fine with me” — I’m sure her husband meant to be easy-going and encouraging — but sometimes, when we’re very specific about what we want, we help others to enjoy the pleasure of giving.

Have you ever been made happy because you were able to give someone exactly what he or she wanted because that person told you exactly what it was?