An earlier version of this article appeared on February 15, 2022
Research shows that by February 28—what might be called “Discouragement Day”—many people have abandoned their New Year’s resolutions.
Instead of a time to feel discouraged, it can be a time to re-evaluate, to do the hard work of asking ourselves, “If something isn’t working, why not?”
If you started working on an aim in January and have slowed down or stopped, consider using February 28 as “Determination Day.”
You can succeed by failing; if you’ve found that one approach doesn’t work, that’s useful information. Now you can try something else, and stay determined to meet your aim.
A key reason resolutions fail
Many resolutions fail because they’re too vague to act on. “Get healthier” or “be more organized” sound good, but they don’t tell you what to do today.
A well-defined resolution should answer three questions: What exactly am I doing? How will I know I’m doing it? How often will I do it?
Instead of “exercise more,” try “walk 26 minutes every morning before work.” Instead of “read more,” try “read for 30 minutes before bed on weeknights.” The specific version gives you something concrete to schedule, track, and adjust.
Download a free worksheet to help you craft a specific resolution.
How to get back on track
Once you’ve clarified what you’re aiming for, consider how to adjust your approach:
- Consider what didn’t work for you, and why. Did you resolve to write in the morning but you’re not a morning person? Read before bed when you can’t keep your eyes open? Exercise on your own when you might benefit from the accountability of a partner or class?
- Reflect on the benefits. To keep ourselves energized, it’s useful to think of a habit’s rewards. Regular exercise boosts energy throughout the day, improves nighttime sleep, and makes it easier to sit through endless video calls.
- Identify new strategies. Schedule time to write at night after everyone’s in bed (The Strategy of Distinctions). Read in the morning with your first cup of coffee (The Strategy of Pairing). Talk to a friend on the phone on your daily walk (The Strategy of Accountability). Look over my list of 21 Strategies for Habit Change for more ideas to try.
- Make an investment. Beautiful tools or gear can make your habit more convenient or more enjoyable to keep, and for some people, investing in an activity makes them more likely to stick with it. Would investing in a better pair of athletic shoes, a reading light, or high-quality headphones make your habit more pleasant?
- “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” Thank you, Voltaire. If you can’t face cleaning out the attic, tackle one bureau drawer. If you break your resolution today, try again tomorrow. Give yourself permission to lower the bar.
When to quit your resolution
Determination Day doesn’t mean doubling down no matter what. Sometimes the best move is letting go of something that isn’t not working. If you’ve tried multiple approaches and an aim consistently makes you miserable, that’s important information. Quitting can free up energy for other aims that serve you better.
Getting back on track
If you’re still excited about your aims or resolutions and want to get back on track, explore the Habits Hub to find new strategies to experiment with, or use the Happier™ app to add new habit-building tools to your toolkit.
There are still 10 months in the year—plenty of time for you to make progress.
