Last week, my husband Jamie and I celebrated our thirtieth wedding anniversary (we got married on the handy date of 9/4/94). To mark this occasion, I decided to reflect on some things I’ve learned about happiness and relationships—specifically, in honor of thirty years, thirty things I’ve learned about staying happier in my relationship to Jamie. Spoiler alert: This is a very idiosyncratic list.
- I should go to bed angry.
- Don’t expect Jamie to do anything like a “happiness project.” That’s not his style, and that’s fine.
- Don’t underestimate the importance of the fact that we both like to get to the airport early.
- Grab his hand, put my arm around him, give him a hug; Jamie’s love language is “Physical Touch.”
- Face the fact that he’s not going to answer a lot of my texts and emails. Recognize that he’s like this with everyone, it’s not just me.
Read all thirty insights in my recent article.
Onward,
5 Things Making Me Happy
Today is Friday the 13th—are you superstitious or a little-stitious? I don’t worry about Friday the 13th or a black cat crossing my path, but I do enjoy observing a few lucky superstitions. I try to say “Rabbit, rabbit” as soon as I wake up on the first day of the month, and I have a lucky perfume. Research shows that lucky charms actually do work!
I’m excited to team up with Silk + Sonder for a special online event on 9/26. We’ll explore my Four Tendencies personality framework, provide insights into what drives our behavior, and suggest ways to harness our Tendencies at work and in life. Known for their thoughtful monthly wellness journals and supportive community, Silk + Sonder is the perfect partner for this deep dive into self-reflection. Join us for an hour of insights with me and Silk + Sonder founder Meha Agrawal on 9/26 at 8-9pm ET. Can’t wait to see you there.
I’m a fervent believer in the power of our five senses to make us humans happier, and I was fascinated to learn about how the Humane Society’s Sensory Garden in Fort Worth, Texas, was created as an enriching environment for shelter dogs.
Last week marked the twelfth anniversary of my book, Happier at Home. In celebration, I re-read a section. Here’s an excerpt that makes me reflect on what has and hasn’t changed in my life, in those years:
“Once the season of the harvest, now the season of la rentrée, September has always been a milestone month for me, and this September had particular significance: After the first week of school, Eliza walked to school alone.”
Now Eliza has started a master’s program, and Eleanor just left for college. Jamie and I are entering our “Open Door” phase. As I reflect on this new chapter, I’m struck by how the themes of change, gain, and loss continue to shape our lives. If this strikes a chord with you, consider reading (or listening to) Happier at Home. I will say—of all the books I’ve written, my sister Elizabeth says that this book is her favorite.
While I don’t suffer from the dreaded “Sunday blues,” I have many friends who dislike Sundays for that reason. I’d never heard of the “September Scaries,” however—”a combination of dread, regret, and anticipation.” This phenomenon doesn’t surprise me, though, because August is the Sunday night of the year.
AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER
New! The Happiness Hacks Card Deck
Need a boost? The tasks and treats on these cards are designed to help you feel energized, clear clutter, tap into your senses, connect with others, and have a little fun. Shuffle the deck and draw a card anytime, at work or at home.
This week on Happier with Gretchen Rubin
PODCAST EPISODE: 499
We talk about why it’s a good idea to spare ourselves the work of having unnecessary opinions. We also share listeners’ many imaginative suggestions for ways that they help themselves stay calm, as well as a listener’s idea for getting more enjoyment out of familiar experiences. Plus we debate the question of whether we want to get maximum value out of an experience, or just enjoy what we want.
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