I’m home after my book tour! I have one more event coming up, but it’s in New York City, so no more flying. I’ll be at Symphony Space, in conversation with the brilliant author, podcaster, and PBS host Kelly Corrigan. I love meeting readers and listeners, so I’d been looking forward to the tour, but I did wonder how I’d be able to arrive at so many cities, in such a short time, without running into airport difficulties. It seemed inevitable. But I got lucky, and made every flight, and I didn’t lose or forget any items along the way. Phew. Thank you to everyone who came to an event—I enjoyed it so much.
Onward,
5 Things Making Me Happy
One highlight of my book tour was visiting the Gathering Place, a gorgeous park in Tulsa. There was so much to see, and one of my favorite parts was the Cabinet of Wonder installation by Mark Dion. So many ordinary items became extraordinary when they were massed together and artfully organized. I wish I’d had hours to examine every inch.
My favorite activity, no competition, is reading. Reading is my tree-house as well as my cubicle. When I’m stressed out, my response is to start re-reading my old favorites—often my childhood favorites. I’m curious: When times are hard, how do you read? Take this poll to weigh in.
This short video has been making the rounds, but if you missed it, it’s worth watching—or watching again. During San Diego’s recent 5.2 magnitude earthquake, a herd of African elephants rushed to form an “alert circle” to protect younger elephants. Such an extraordinary example of nature at work. I’m reminded of a passage from a book I love, Eugène Delacroix’s Journal:
“The Natural History Museum is open to the public on Tuesdays and Fridays. Elephant, rhinoceros, hippopotamus; extraordinary animals! Rubens rendered them marvelously. I had a feeling of happiness as soon as I entered the place and the further I went the stronger it grew. I felt my whole being rise above commonplaces and trivialities and the petty worries of my daily life. What an immense variety of animals and species of different shapes and functions!”
A thoughtful reader sent me a link to a terrific series from the New York Times, about taking a close look at a work of art. Three articles, in particular, caught my eye. One explores one of my favorite pieces by one of my favorite artists, Hokusai’s Ejiri in Suruga Province. (I’ve felt a special relationship to Hokusai ever since “Wave” was my one-word theme for 2024.) Another examines Parmigianino’s Madonna of the Long Neck, which was my daughter Eliza’s thesis subject her senior year. (I ordered her a water bottle with Madonna of the Long Neck on it.) The third concerns the Très Riches Heures du Duc de Berry—I’ve been fascinated by this book, and wanted to write something similar, for decades. It’s one of my Secrets of Adulthood: The more we know, the more we notice.
I was intrigued by a recent piece in my favorite magazine, The Economist, about what baby names reveal about contemporary culture. Just a few interesting points: These days, children are given names from a much wider selection than in the past. In 1948, nearly one-third of American children were given a name from the 20 most-popular names, and in 1947, in a “Linda” boom, nearly 5.6% of girls were named Linda. Also, pop culture plays a role—for instance, Barbie and Homer (Simpsons has replaced The Odyssey as an association) have dropped in popularity.
Create Your Outdoor Happy Place
Patio season is here—and your space deserves a refresh. Discover comfy pillows, colorful tableware, and eye-catching accents from Society6’s outdoor collection. Designed by artists, made to spark joy all summer long.
This week on Happier with Gretchen Rubin
PODCAST EPISODE: 530
Very Special Episode: Hacks, Products, and Tips for Spring Clearing & Organizing
INTERVIEW
Melinda French Gates
Melinda French Gates is a philanthropist, businesswoman, and global advocate for women and girls. Her new book, The Next Day: Transitions, Change, and Moving Forward is available now.
Q: Can you suggest something we might try to help ourselves to become happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?
Prioritize your friendships. Make room for them even when life feels very full. I am so lucky to have some very close friendships with a few wonderful women who over the years have become some of the most important people in my life. About thirty years ago, eight weeks into my new job at Microsoft, I met a woman named Charlotte, and we started going on daily jogs together. All these years later, we still go walking every week—now with our friends Killian and Emmy.
I call those three my “Truth Council.” We’ve seen each other through all kinds of things—from my divorce to Charlotte’s son’s heroic recovery from a serious accident. Sometimes, we spend our walks locked in intense emotional conversations because we’re accompanying each other through incredibly difficult moments. Sometimes, we spend our walks laughing so hard that people literally stop and stare. But, as I write in my book, I think both kinds of walks accomplish important spiritual work, because the laughter and the tears are equally important in cementing your bonds.
Q: Is there a particular motto that you’ve found very helpful? (I remind myself to “Be Gretchen.”) Or a quotation that has struck you as particularly insightful?
As my mother told me when I was in high school: “Set your own agenda or someone else will.” It’s the best advice I’ve ever received, and I still think about it all the time.
I also keep a laminated card in my desk drawer with a quote from the German philosopher Meister Eckhart: “The outward work can never be great if the inward work is small.”
The whole time I was writing this book, I was conscious of the fact that we often treat the quiet, introspective work we do as something self-centered or self-indulgent. But it’s also a key part of how we ensure that we are healthy people capable of entering healthy relationships and doing work that moves the world in the right direction. Frankly, I wish we all spent more time talking about our inner work.
Q: What simple habit boosts your happiness or energy?
Should I give you the right answer or the totally honest one? The right answer is meditation. I have a dedicated practice that’s very important to me, and I try to get in at least a little bit each day, ideally first thing in the morning. The totally honest answer, though, is Coca-Cola—the kind they call “Mexican Coke,” which comes in a glass bottle and is made with real cane sugar. If I’m traveling for work and jet-lagged or stuck in a Seattle conference room in back-to-back meetings, you can bet I am reaching for a Coke. Not as virtuous as meditation, but hey, we’re all just doing our best out here.
Q: Has a book ever changed your life – if so, which one and why?
Awakening Joy by James Baraz and Shoshana Alexander. I recommend it to anyone I can. It sets out to teach you how to make a habit out of happiness and how to train your mind to fully, deeply experience all the joy you encounter. What a good use of your time and energy, right?
Q: In your own life, have you found ways to tap into the power of your five senses? (For instance, I often take a sniff of a spice jar as I pass through my kitchen to help ground me in the present moment.)
I love being intentional about rituals and traditions, and I particularly love the winter holidays. It’s a dedicated time each year to step away from the ordinary business of everyday life, spend time with your family, and focus on the things that really matter. And it’s a full sensory experience. There’s the festive piney scent of the Christmas tree, the comforting familiarity of all the traditional foods, soft cozy sweaters, bright and beautiful lights, music that lifts the soul—all five senses continually reminding me that it’s my favorite time of year.
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