Last week — though the event seems both more recent and more distant — my beloved father died. In the days that followed, my mother, my sister Elizabeth, and I took great comfort in the process of writing his obituary. It was consoling to reflect deeply on his life, swap memories, and search for just the right words. As part of it, we included many things that he enjoyed; he took very great pleasure in life.
This week, in honor of my father, I’m posting about five additional things that made him happy.
Onward,
5 Things Making Me Happy
My father loved the music of the Mamas & the Papas and the Beach Boys, and he loved the documentary The Wrecking Crew about the brilliant session musicians who played on many hit recordings of that era.
My father’s bad feet were a big nuisance to him, and he was delighted with his comfortable Allbirds and Oofos shoes. He would have been very gratified to see the Oofos Ooahh slides get a strong recommendation in the Wall Street Journal’s roundup of the best recovery shoes, according to podiatrists and athletes.
I’ve received so many lovely messages from listeners and readers about my father. He was a true believer in the benefits of regular exercise, and I’ve been very happy to learn — and he would have been so happy to learn — that his line, “It’s enough just to put on your running shoes and let the door close behind you,” has helped many people commit to regular exercise.
I was very vain about my ability to predict books that my father would enjoy — or maybe he just always enjoyed a book because I’d chosen it for him. Either way, one of my most surprising mind-reading triumphs was when I thought that, although it seemed wildly out of character, he would in fact like A Song of Ice and Fire, the set of books that starts with A Game of Thrones. He read them all (he skipped the parts about the dragons).
Speaking of my father’s reading, one of the last books he read was Joseph Torigian’s The Party’s Interests Come First: the Life of Xi Zhongxun, Father of Xi Jinping. (Amazon; Bookshop) We discussed it several times, and he said it was “fascinating, but a bit of a slog.” I’d been meaning to tell him that it had occurred to me that his description reminded me of what Huckleberry Finn said about Pilgrim’s Progress, a line I love and often think about when I’m doing research: “The statements was interesting, but tough.”
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This week on Happier with Gretchen Rubin
PODCAST EPISODE: 564
Revealing…the Annual Challenge for 2026! Plus a Report on Read 25 in 2025
INTERVIEW
Sara Hart-Unger
Sarah Hart-Unger is a pediatric endocrinologist and host of the podcasts Best of Both Worlds with Laura Vanderkam and Best Laid Plans. Her new book, Best Laid Plans: A Simple Planning System for Living a Life That You Love, publishes December 16.
Q: Can you suggest something we might try to help ourselves to become happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?
I believe that almost anyone can benefit from purposeful planning time. I know that sometimes it’s hard to fit in – in fact, one of the most common things I hear is that people feel too busy to devote time to planning! But to me, this reminds me of a harried and overworked chef too busy to sharpen his or her knife.
My suggestion is to give yourself the gift of some dedicated time to plan on several time scales. To start with, I would recommend a longer session to think about your year ahead, shorter sessions for each season, and an even shorter one for your week. Put these events on your calendar like you would any meeting or commitment and give yourself the time to dream and put plans in place.
Q: Do you have a Secret of Adulthood? A lesson you’ve learned from life the hard way; something you’d tell your younger self?
For better or for worse, everything changes. Things that feel so hard in the moment might be utterly forgettable years down the line. Conversely, something you never even dreamed of might become a huge part of your life later on!
This is why planning and goal setting are never one and done – they are practices to build into your life year after year, season after season. Similarly, routines don’t have to serve you forever – just aim to have them serve the current you, as you are living right now. Later, you can always iterate or move on.
Q: What simple habit boosts your happiness or energy?
I have a few habits I aim to do each day, from walking outside to a language learning app and beyond. But if I had to pick one, I’d say reading! I love to start my day with 10-15 minutes of an inspiring book. I highlight and take random notes and often capture a favorite quote in my daily planner. This ritual brings me joy and starts the day on a positive note.
Q: Is there a particular motto that you’ve found very helpful?
Yes: Perspective is everything. It’s been attributed to several individuals, but I first heard it in an Aimee Mann song when I was in my 20s. When I hear it, I am reminded to stand back and take a different view, often a broader one. So many of the things that can feel incredibly urgent or stressful in the moment can be seen in a very different light when a new perspective is applied.
I don’t have a tattoo, but if I did it would probably be this quote!
Q: Has a book ever changed your life? If so, which one and why?
Many books have changed my life! Here, I’ll give a shout-out to Laura Vanderkam, my good friend and podcasting partner. I read 168 Hours when I was in residency training (I’m a pediatric endocrinologist) and it opened my mind to so many ways I could craft a life I truly enjoyed, even during an incredibly busy season. Plus, Laura and I connected soon after and have since became close friends. That was definitely an incredibly impactful read!
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