In my writing life, I hit a big milestone this week: I emailed my literary agent a draft proposal for my next book—working title Project Empty Nest (on the nose, right?). This proposal will undergo massive edits, additions, and subtractions, so it’s just a first draft—but nevertheless, this email marked a significant step. I have a quirk as a writer: I do a giant amount of work on a book before I write the proposal. Most non-fiction authors don’t work this way, but until I’ve written a big chunk of a book, I just don’t know what I’m going to say. Now I’ve done enough work on the book to be able to write the proposal, and I’ve started the “official” work on the proposal by showing it to my agent, the book is now real. It’s no longer a plaything, hooky book, a passion project—it moves to the center of my work life.
Onward,
5 Things Making Me Happy
It’s Friday the 13th! Here in the United States, that’s traditionally considered an unlucky day. (Fun fact: In Italy, Friday the 17th is unlucky.) Does it change your behavior or attitude to know the day is “unlucky?” I don’t care about Friday the 13th, but I must admit, last year it did give me pause to realize that the publication day for my book Secrets of Adulthood was going to be April 1, April Fool’s Day. I’m not superstitious, but I’m a littlestitious.
As we try to make our lives happier, one common challenge is decision-making. Where to live, what job opportunities to pursue, whether to start a side hustle, whether to stay or go, choose the apple or the orange? We confront difficult choices and get conflicting, confusing advice. In the article “Overwhelmed by the need to make a decision? Start here,” I outline some of my favorite Secrets of Adulthood for figuring out the way forward.
Of my five senses, I have a special appreciation for the sense of smell. I love to smell a smell—even bad smells. I was fascinated by the article “From cat urine to gunpowder: Exploring the peculiar smells of outer space.” Who knew that we might be able to smell a dying star? (If you want to know your most neglected sense, take my super-fun quiz here.)
As someone who loves to read, I’ve been thrilled to notice that reading is really coming back into practice. For a variety of reasons, so many people want to spend more time with books. There’s even a rising trend in organized events for people to gather together and read independently, in “silent book clubs,” also called “reading parties.” More reading for all.
I love getting the chance to do joint book events, because it’s always so interesting to explore the ways that books overlap or shed light on each other. I’m really looking forward to doing an event with Suzy Welch, professor at NYU’s Stern School of Business and author of many books, including her latest book, Becoming You—which I love. We’re doing a joint event at The Strand bookstore here in New York City on Friday, June 20, 2025 at 7:00 PM. Join us!
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This week on Happier with Gretchen Rubin
PODCAST EPISODE: 538
Set a Tripwire, Decide If You Need the Storage Unit & Do You Use that Gizmo?
INTERVIEW
Ed Helms
Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a raving fan of the TV show The Office. On that show, Ed Helms played the role of Andy Bernard. Ed Helms is an acclaimed actor, comedian, writer, and host of the delightful history podcast SNAFU. His new book, SNAFU: The Definitive Guide to History’s Greatest Screwups, is available now.
Q: Can you suggest something we might try to help ourselves to become happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?
Listen to instrumental music. Lyrics are wonderful, but they can hijack your thoughts. Instrumental music, on the other hand, speaks directly to the primal, wordless corners of your brain. It doesn’t matter if it’s Bach, Coltrane, or the score from The Shawshank Redemption (which is stellar, by the way!). First pay attention to the production, the choices behind it, the arrangement, the instruments, the flow, the strange synthesizer that sounds like a sad robot whale. Then notice where it organically takes your mind. Let the music be an actual tour guide into your psyche. You might be surprised what’s in there!
Q: Do you have a Secret of Adulthood? A lesson you’ve learned from life the hard way; something you’d tell your younger self?
Before bed and again in the morning, meditate on your upcoming schedule for the day, and imagine yourself absolutely crushing it. Not just moving through your obligations, but fully ruling your day with command, expertise, and panache, like Neo in The Matrix or Gene Kelly in Singing in the Rain. Make it funny and jazzy. It’s weirdly uplifting and helps me approach the day with more confidence and optimism.
Q: What simple habit boosts your happiness or energy?
Coffee. But, I don’t just drink coffee, I commune with it. The smell, the warmth, the little porcelain ritual. Then I imagine the caffeine molecules waltzing into my brain like James Brown’s horn section, leading all of my cells and synapses into a funky strut to greet the day.
Q: Is there a particular motto that you’ve found very helpful?
So many quotes have resonated with me and I love to revisit them. Here are a couple of favorites:
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” —Henry Ford
“Eschew Obfuscation.” —Unknown
“Change is never painful. Only the resistance to change is painful.” —Buddha
I find great quotes to be a curious thing. When a quote really lands, when it sparks that unmistakable “Aha!” or quiet “Wow” — I like to think it’s not because it’s introducing something new, but because it’s just giving language to something you already feel and understand deep down. In other words, the resonance isn’t revelation, it’s recognition. And that suggests that maybe we all carry a lot more wisdom than we realize. I love that idea. Maybe our collective love of great quotes is actually proof that, beneath the noise of daily life, there’s a deeper well of shared human knowledge and experience, a kind of universal intuition that transcends any one person and connects us all.
Q: Has a book ever changed your life? If so, which one and why?
Driven to Distraction by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey opened my eyes to the possibility that I might have ADHD, something that was later confirmed with a full neuropsychiatric evaluation. For the first time, I had a framework to help me process so much of the struggle and confusion that had followed me through life. The diagnosis didn’t get me out of the woods, but it gave me a compass. And a deeper sense of hope and self-acceptance for which I’m profoundly grateful.
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