Hello,

I often miss online trends, and while I was only dimly aware of the “crack an egg on your child’s head” challenge on TikTok, I was fascinated to read this article about “Why young children don’t understand ‘pranks.’” In a nutshell, their theory of mind hasn’t yet developed. It’s a good reminder that whether a joke or a prank is “funny” depends on whether the listener or recipient finds it funny, not whether the teller or pranker declares, “It’s funny!”

Along the same lines, other research that shows that people who tease are far more likely to believe that their teasing is playful and warm-hearted than the people being teased, who experience it as more mean-spirited. I remind myself: Things that I say and do may have more of an edge than I intend, so make sure I’m actually communicating warmth and humor.

Onward,

5 Things Making Me Happy

Have you tried any “kidulting” experiences? I love this new term and trend. More and more, apparently, adults are enjoying the kinds of playful activities usually associated with children. “Kidulting” allows us to connect to the fun of childhood—to immerse ourselves in experiences that delight our five senses.

I love hidden features in a home—our apartment has hidden initials, a set of shelves hidden behind a wall of fake books, a hidden tiny room, and painted elements in unexpected places. I was delighted when a thoughtful listener sent me this Instagram Reel of a husband discovering that his wife had hidden little paintings all around the house.

Ever notice how characters on The Office deal with work expectations so differently? One explanation: They represent different “Tendencies” in my Four Tendencies personality framework. I love Tendency-spotting in TV shows, books, and movies, and The Office is one of my all-time favorites. Which character do you resemble? Or perhaps you prefer to compare yourself to a character from Game of Thrones. Don’t worry, I have a Four Tendencies breakdown for that show, too. I haven’t yet done an official analysis of Better Call Saul; perhaps surprisingly, given the subject of the show, it features several Upholders.

Every year, along with my in-laws, my family spends Labor Day weekend in Montana, in a beautiful spot near Big Timber. Mountains, trees, river, pond, and sometimes bears and rattlesnakes. Some people prefer to travel to new places every chance they get; others love to return to the same places over and over. I enjoy both kinds of travel, but I do really love seeing the same place unfold over time.

On a walk in Montana, the sight of these hayrolls in a field reminded me of a passage I love, from Per Petterson’s novel, Out Stealing Horses:

The rack stood as if it had been there forever across the landscape and lit by the sun with its long shadow behind it, and in harmony with every fold of the field and finally turned into a mere form, a primordial form, even if that was not the word I used then, and it gave me huge pleasure just to look at it. I can still feel the same thing today when I see a hayrack in a photograph from a book, but all that is a thing of the past now…so the feeling of pleasure slips into the feeling that time has passed, that it is very long ago, and the sudden feeling of being old.

Updates

• Labor Day offers an opportunity to reflect on your relationship to your own “labor,” refresh your routines, and focus your efforts on your aims. To help you have a Happier Labor Day, get 30% off The Happiness Project shop through 11:59pm PT on Monday, September 4th. Use code: LABORDAY30
  
  Excludes: Gift Cards, Five-Senses Journal, and Four Tendencies Workshop. One use per customer.
  
  

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