I just entered an exciting but nerve-wracking stage for a writer: I’m looking at “first pass pages.” That means that I’m reviewing my forthcoming Secrets of Adulthood book in a version that’s formatted to look like the actual future book. It’s exciting to see my words look so official, but now I’ve entered the final stages of being able to change anything. As someone who edits constantly, this makes me nervous.
Onward,
5 Things Making Me Happy
A thoughtful listener and reader sent me this photo from London, taken on Peter’s Hill on the north bank of the Thames. I got a big kick out of seeing this reference to “Upholders’ Hall.” I’d love to attend a big gathering in a hall full of my fellow Upholders.
A friend who knows I love whimsy sent me this Vogue article, “Moo Deng is the moment,” about the enthusiasm surrounding the Thai pygmy hippo Moo Deng. Moo Deng (“bouncy pork” in Thai) has become a sensation since she was born a few months ago. Apparently the zoo in Chonburi, Thailand, is overwhelmed with visitors lining up to get a view, and the internet is having a lot of fun.
Even though I’m not Catholic, my spiritual master is Saint Therese of Lisieux. I’ve read her spiritual memoir Story of a Soul many times, and I have a big collection of Saint Therese books. October 1 was her feast day, and I love having a yearly reminder to spend some time reflecting on her teachings: “I choose all!” “When one loves, one does not calculate,” “For the love of God and my Sisters (so charitable toward me) I take care to appear happy and especially to be so,” “I am very far from practicing what I understand,” “It isn’t enough to love; we must prove it.”
Exercise is the magical elixir of good health. More movement, more well-being. Reading this article from the Axios Finish Line newsletter, “Take the stairs,” has made me more diligent about taking the stairs—for balance, for strengthening knees, for muscle use.
For the United States, Election Day is fast approaching. It’s quick and easy—and also a very good idea—to make sure we’re registered to vote. On headcount.org, it took me less than twenty seconds to check. While you’re at it, make a plan for how you plan to cast your vote. We’re happier when our lives reflect our values, so if being a civically engaged citizen is an important part of your identity, take action.
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This week on Happier with Gretchen Rubin
PODCAST EPISODE: 502
We talk about why going to a reunion can give us such a big happiness boost. We also discuss research about the “dinner-party problem,” and what to do about it, and we explore a question about attitudes towards parenting.
INTERVIEW
Kendra Adachi
Kendra Adachi is an expert in compassionate time management. She is the New York Times bestselling author of The Lazy Genius Way and The Lazy Genius Kitchen, and host of the nationally-ranked The Lazy Genius Podcast. Her new book, The Plan: Manage Your Time Like a Lazy Genius hits shelves on October 8th and is available for pre-order now.
Q: Can you suggest something we might try to help ourselves to become happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?
I think a lot of us would find surprising relief from cultivating contentment. I’ve been a student of productivity for over two decades, and without the guardrails of contentment, productivity can hollow us out. Ask me and my adrenal glands how I know. For those of us who are weary of always trying to be happy, healthy, more productive, and more creative, maybe the marrow-deep answer is to stop trying so hard. Instead, start with who and where you are today. Contentment is the antidote to optimization, and from that place of self-compassion, true happiness, creativity, and even productivity can flow with renewed purpose and ease.
Q: In your own life, have you found ways to tap into the power of your five senses?
Because my brain is a caffeinated squirrel on a treadmill, listening is my greatest asset. I listen to music, to birds, to my kids’ stories at the end of a school day. By listening first and talking only when necessary (a tough ask for this extrovert and professional speaker), I feel more connected to exactly where I am.
Q: Is there a particular motto that you’ve found very helpful? (I remind myself to “Be Gretchen.”) Or a quotation that has struck you as particularly insightful?
“Name what matters.” In any situation with any limitations in any season of life, I will always name what matters. The answer, no matter what it is, allows the nonessential things to fall away and helps focus my attention on what actually deserves it.
I also love the quote from Theodore Roosevelt’s daughter, Alice: “Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch what itches.” If that’s not an essential, compassionate approach to life, nothing is.
Q: What simple habit boosts your happiness or energy?
Watching and listening to birds. I know I’m a cliche, but I claim it proudly. There is nothing I have found that is both grounding and freeing all in one breath than noticing and smiling at birds. Yes, I smile at them. Listen to a Carolina wren sing and try to keep a straight face.
Q: Has a book ever changed your life—if so, which one and why?
Books change my life all the time. Since reading is my favorite hobby, I’m never far from someone’s words adding another layer to who I am and how I see the world. Since the list is far too long, the book that changed my life in the dearest way is The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman. It was my first “weird little book” which is now my favorite niche genre, and it took me by such surprise. The childlike wonder coupled with masterful storytelling in such a darkly odd story got all my synapses firing. I loved every word, and I pick it up whenever I’m in a reading rut, an emotional rut, or just in the mood…which is quite often. It’s the book that truly made me a reader.
The book that changed my life as an author is the one I just wrote, The PLAN. I know it sounds weird, but it’s the book I was put on this earth to write. Finally having it on paper for other people to experience is one of the greatest experiences of my life. We desperately need the freedom that comes from compassionate time management, and I am beyond pumped to be part of unlocking it.
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