A huge win for the Knicks! I’m on a family vacation in Italy—which is wonderful—so Jamie and I woke up at 3:30 a.m. to watch the second half of the game on his iPad. Then neither of us could go back to sleep, from the adrenaline.
Onward,
5 Things Making Me Happy
I love Donna Tartt’s novel The Secret History—it’s one of the books I most often give as a gift. To experience it in a new way, I decided to listen to the audiobook. I got a thrill of connection while I was listening to the epilogue, when we’re told that the character Cloke Rayburn lives in an apartment “on Lexington and Eighty-first.” “That’s right around the corner from me!” I exclaimed aloud when I heard it. Fortunately, I was walking in Central Park so no one heard me talking to my audiobook.
I’m feeling relieved; at last I’ve made peace with the fact that I just can’t manage properly to use the phrase “begs the question.” As I did with the “rule against perpetuities” in law school, I’ve accepted that I can’t figure it out. I take comfort in the fact that I know that I’m not alone; I may not be able to use it correctly, but I can tell that many people use it incorrectly.
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I don’t have a great memory of the events my own life, and I’m always looking for way to make time richer and more memorable, and also to mark time. For instance, now I take note of book-publishing anniversaries. Realizing that June 5 is the seventh anniversary of the publication of Outer Order, Inner Calm reminded me of how much fun I had writing that little book—I find the subject of clutter-clearing so energizing and cheering.
A friend pointed me to the UK Red website, a “reading experience database.” It shows how, when, and what people read, starting from the invention of the printing press in 1450. This is the scholarly equivalent of peering over people’s shoulders on a subway or plane to see what they’re reading. Very fun.
As I said, I’m in Italy, and I’m seeing a great deal of something I love: plants and flowers growing out of stone walls. For some reason, this sight gives me immense pleasure. It’s a good example of the fact that by articulating pleasures like “I love experiencing the seasons” or “I love the smell of a hardware store,” I get more enjoyment from them. Surprisingly, it’s not always easy to notice what we love.
This week on Happier with Gretchen Rubin
PODCAST EPISODE: 589
We discuss why reflecting on a milestone moment—even a difficult one—can be a meaningful happiness practice. We also add a new suggestion to our “treat yourself like” series, and explore a know-yourself-better question about the patterns we fall into before a big trip or challenge.
INTERVIEW
Liam McClintock
Liam McClintock is the founder of FitMind, a mental fitness nonprofit, and the author of Fit Mind: 4 Steps to Lasting Bliss—Neuroscience and Meditation for Daily Life. After leaving a career in private equity, he traveled throughout Asia to study meditation and eventually became ordained as a Buddhist monk. Liam holds a B.A. from Yale University and an M.S. in Applied Neuroscience from King’s College London. He has contributed to meditation research at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital.
Q: Can you suggest something we might try to help ourselves to become happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?
What most undermines our happiness, health, and productivity are what I call “unfit” states—negative thoughts and emotions that drain our energy and consume our attention. The key is learning to release them efficiently.
The practice is simple but powerful: As soon as you notice an unfit state, (1) fully accept the underlying feeling, and (2) consciously decide to let it go. This frees up mental bandwidth and allows more presence and ease to emerge. (I explain the full technique in my book.)
Q: Do you have a Secret of Adulthood? A lesson you’ve learned from life the hard way; something you’d tell your younger self?
Don’t beat yourself up. You (and everyone else) are doing your best according to your biological programming. It’s a fun, yet essential, challenge to steadily reprogram the mind.
Q: What simple habit boosts your happiness or energy?
A quick way to shift from an “unfit” to a “fit” state is to smile. Even fake smiles have been shown to produce small but statistically significant improvements in mood, according to a meta-analysis of 138 studies.
Q: Is there a particular motto that you’ve found very helpful?
My teacher, the revered Buddhist monk Bhante Vimalaramsi, used to tell us, “Life is meditation, meditation is life.” It reminds me to bring meta-awareness and kindness into every moment—not just during formal practice, but throughout the day.
Q: Has a book ever changed your life?
The Path to Nibbāna by David Johnson had a profound impact on me. It showed me that nirvana (nibbāna) is not just a philosophical idea, but a real and attainable goal. That insight ultimately led me to ordain as a Buddhist monk.
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