This week I did something very uncharacteristic: I attended a four-day silent meditation retreat—I’m still processing the experience. It was interesting on several levels:
Twice before, I’ve meditated for months, then given it up. I do believe that no tool fits every hand, but I wanted to give this particular tool another try. Third time’s the charm, right? I thought that meditating intensely might help me embrace the practice. And indeed, I intend to keep it up.
I wondered whether it would seem strange to be with people without talking or meeting their gaze. Turns out I loved this aspect of the experience. And I ended up feeling very close to all the participants, even though we spoke to each other only at the very beginning and very end.
No tech! No phone, no smart watch, no airpods, no laptop. Giving up technology was a lot easier than I expected (true, it wasn’t for very long).
The experience reminded me of the importance of the atmosphere of growth: we’re happier when we’re growing, learning, pushing outside our comfort zone. Research shows that novelty and challenge tend to boost happiness—and that’s true even for someone like me, who loves familiarity, repetition, and routine. Also, it’s important to be able to reconsider our identity. I’d thought of myself as “someone who doesn’t meditate” but now I’ve changed that identity. More to come as I explore my new resolution to meditate every day.
Onward,
5 Things Making Me Happy
Dolly Parton + the power of perfume. A thoughtful reader of Life in Five Senses sent me an article where Dolly Parton describes why she sprays perfume on her wigs and why she loves scent. “Every now and then, I’ll open a box where I have things from long ago, and I’ll smell a certain perfume I was wearing then, and it takes me back to a place.” (You know who else did this? Andy Warhol.)
If I’m being honest, I have to admit that I follow the news of the Royal family more closely than is strictly necessary for a U. S. citizen—the weddings, the funerals, the squabbles, the ceremonies. So I was very interested to listen to Unroyal: Three Women Who Shook the Monarchy, a fascinating audio documentary from New York Times reporter Sarah Lyall.
I enjoyed looking at this New York Times collection of archival photos of children’s reading rooms at different branches of the New York Public Library—the first photo dates from 1903. It reminds me of all the hours I spent in the Plaza branch of the Kansas City Public Library. Children’s books downstairs, adult books on the first floor—that library has been beautifully renovated, but what I would give to be able to walk into that library, just as it was during my childhood…
One little thing that makes me happy: When I think that I’m the only one struggling with some minor challenge, but then I discover that many people share the same frustration. For instance, I’ve long been puzzled by why hotel-room showers are so hard to use. The hotel knows that most of the people using that shower are encountering it for the first time! Why do they take a counter-intuitive approach? I’ve even had to call the front desk to ask for instructions. So I was gratified to read “We’ve used showers for centuries. Why can’t hotels make them easier?”
I was delighted by this imaginative post that conjured up so many ordinary moments that bring joy—such as the scent of a clean baby, the coolness of clean sheets—and then was even more delighted to discover that the post was inspired by my book Life in Five Senses! At the end, artist Gina McMillen notes, “I’m learning to pay better attention to my senses and notice when something ordinary becomes undeniably satisfying.” That’s exactly what I learned myself, from exploring my senses, and what I hoped that readers would take away from the book.
Updates
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We discuss how and why we might look for pockets of wasted time (and talk about some wasted time we uncovered ourselves.) We also suggest an easy step to lower anticipatory anxiety, a simple hack for avoiding waste, and discuss a listener’s question about how her Upholder son should spend his time.