I was sad to learn of author Wendell Berry’s death. I’ve always meant to read more of his work; I loved his novels Jayber Crow, Hannah Coulter, and The Memory of Old Jack. When we had a party for our wedding anniversary, in my toast to my husband Jamie, I read Berry’s poem “The Wild Rose”:

The Wild Rose

Sometimes hidden from me
in daily custom and in trust,
so that I live by you unaware
as by the beating of my heart,

suddenly you flare in my sight,
a wild rose blooming at the edge
of thicket, grace and light
where yesterday was only a shade,

and once more I am blessed, choosing
again what I chose before.

Onward,

5 Things Making Me Happy​

Every month, I post a photo of the books I’ve read in the past four weeks, and I’ve decided to start including that photo here, to shine a spotlight on more books. Notable from this month: the day I finished Audition, I bought a copy of Intimacies, another novel by Katie Kitamura; I’m making my way through all of Elizabeth Taylor’s novels, and Blaming now ranks as one of my favorites; Whistler is a novel full of love, and I love a novel full of love; I was fascinated by Lulu Miller’s Why Fish Don’t Exist; my Summer of Virginia Woolf’s Diaries continues into the fall…actually each of these books deserve praise. I loved reading all of them.

It seems shallow, but sometimes a purchase makes me very happy—I love a tool that’s exactly suited to its purpose. These days, I can’t stop telling friends how much I love my Hulken rolling tote bag. It makes loading up the car so much easier. Tip: the “medium” size is actually quite large, especially if you need to pick up the bag.

If you’re looking for a good TV show, Jamie and I just finished the first season of Drops of God. “When wine authority Alexandre Léger dies, he leaves behind the world’s finest private wine collection, and a sprawling Tokyo estate. Before his estranged daughter Camille can claim her inheritance, she must battle Alexandre’s protégé, Issei, in a series of wine-related tests.”


For some reason, I was very amused to learn that while we (or at least I) think of “Tiffany” as a very modern name, in fact, it dates from about 1600. Learning about the “Tiffany problem” led me to read about the “recency illusion,” where we perceive slang to be newer than it is. Who knew that “doable” was a Middle English term, “legit” was used in the 1890s, and Winston Churchill—one of my favorite historical figures—was the recipient of the 1917 letter which holds the first recorded use of “OMG.”

I loved reading the visual essay “Ordinary Abundance” by Jordan Dworkin. “Edward Bellamy once imagined that music on demand would be ‘the limit of human felicity.’ A modern apartment is full of things that once drew the same kind of awe.” It’s a reminder to be grateful for many things that we take for granted.

This week on Happier with Gretchen Rubin

PODCAST EPISODE: 603

We talk about how to avoid the mental trap of the “sunk-cost fallacy.” Plus, why it’s so hard to plan for emergencies and the biases that keep us from preparing for risk. 

Listen now >

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INTERVIEW

Jean Chatzky

Jean Chatzky is the founder and CEO of HerMoney, host of the podcast “HerMoney With Jean Chatzky,” and a bestselling author. Her new book, The Forever Paycheck, is out now.

Q: Can you suggest something we might try to help ourselves to become happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative?

Let’s focus on money and happiness/health off the bat. There has been a lot of research on the two together over the years, but as the Baby Boomers retire, we’re learning that having a paycheck that lasts the rest of your life – what financial professionals call “guaranteed lifetime income” and what I call a Forever Paycheck – leads to both increased happiness and health. It’s tied to lower stress because you know that your needs and likely some of your wants are taken care of no matter how long you live. Lower stress typically leads to a happiness bump. And, more recently a big study published by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that the decision to turn some of your savings into a lifetime paycheck not only leads people to use more of their money to invest in their own health but it leads to a longer life – it actually reduces mortality.

So, with all that in mind, I’d say: Start thinking of the money that you’re putting away for your own retirement not just as the big sum you’re accumulating in your 401(k) but actually as a stream of income for your future. Then, by your 50s at the latest, start exploring the ways to turn a chunk of that money – typically about 1/3 – into income by buying or building a paycheck. You buy one with insurance i.e. and annuity. You build one with investments like bonds or dividend paying stocks. Both ways work but have their pros and cons. I lay out the way forward in my new book The Forever Paycheck.

Q: Do you have a Secret of Adulthood? A lesson you’ve learned from life the hard way; something you’d tell your younger self?

Two, actually.  1.) The busier I am, the slower I force myself to go.  When life gets really busy – work, kids, friends, health, older parents, even fun plans – that’s when things slip through the cracks.  That’s when I make mistakes.  If I can get myself to slow my own roll, I’m less likely to do that and more likely to actually enjoy the chaos.  And 2.) Reversion to the mean is not just statistics or sports.  It’s a whole lot of life.  I learned this when I was trying to get my kids to eat a balanced diet.  I had to start thinking of the food categories not in terms of each meal but over the course of a few days or a week.  Eventually, they’d consume enough broccoli.  Life is like that.  Some days are days I’m good at work.  Some days are days I’m good at home.  Some days I catch up on sleep.  It all comes out in the wash.

Q: What simple habit boosts your happiness or energy?

Running! I went for a run in Central Park this morning that I didn’t particularly want to go on.  I always come back happier and ready for what’s next. 

Q: Is there a particular motto that you’ve found very helpful?

In my house we say: This is why we work.  It’s a justification to stop looking at the price tags (habitual for me) and be truly on vacation on vacation (not checking the email).  It lets me be nicer to myself.

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Every Friday, Gretchen Rubin shares 5 things that are making her happier, asks readers and listeners questions, and includes exclusive updates and behind-the-scenes material.