Five Things to Try This Month (Turn acquaintances into friends / A know-yourself-better question)

I love aphorisms, koans, paradoxes, teaching stories, and fables, and here’s one single, mysterious line that’s been running through my mind recently, by Heraclitus: ““You would not find the boundaries of the soul, though you traveled every road.”

5 Things to Try This Month

Find clutter-clearing tips in the Happier™ app.

Listen to some of my most popular clutter-clearing tips from the Happier podcast, now on the Explore screen of the Happier app. Download for free.

Observe World Mental Health Day with the “Titans of Happiness.”

I was thrilled to join a conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a clinical psychologist and host of the podcast Therapy for Black Girls, Dan Harris, author and host of the 10% Happier podcast, and Laurie Santos of the Happiness Lab podcast—and all of us were a little starstruck by another extra special guest… ELMO! We talk hacks for building relationships with others, Elmo’s viral moment, and self-compassion. (Plus it was fun to be called a “titan.”) Listen here.

Turn an acquaintance into a friend.

Close friendships are an important part of a happy life, but as an adult, it can be hard to make a new friend. To turn a friendly acquaintance into a friend, consider these tips:

Plan an activity together that’s unrelated to why you know each other.
Invite them into your home or to a party.
Ask for a favor.
Confide a secret.
Make a thoughtful gesture on their birthday or important milestone.

Listen to episode 501 for more tips.

Spare yourself the work of having unnecessary opinions.

We can spend a lot of time and mental energy forming an opinion on something that doesn’t affect us, isn’t our problem to solve, or that we don’t have any control or influence over. If no one has asked for our opinion, we don’t have any more information than anyone else involved, or if our opinion doesn’t affect the outcome, we can spare ourselves the effort of forming an opinion in the first place. It’s surprising to me how often I need to remind myself of this principle!

Know yourself better: Are you a “sculptor” or a “lifeguard”?

As a parent, do you believe you have a big role in shaping your child’s values, interests, and habits? Or do you cheer on from the sidelines, ready to jump in to help if needed?

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