I love paradoxes, proverbs, koans, and teaching stories of all kinds, so of course I love Aesop’s fables. I love a story with a moral!

Over time, however I’ve come to conclude that these fables often illustrate a lesson that’s very different from the moral generally associated with the story.

For instance, I don’t think that the familiar fable of “The Tortoise and the Hare” actually illustrates the moral that “Slow and steady win the race.” I think a more fitting moral would be “Those with great abilities can be defeated by their own arrogance and idleness.” Or perhaps “Over-confidence can foster carelessness.”

There’s a well-known fable that puzzled and upset me as a child, the fable of “The Ass and the Lap Dog.” I almost always skipped it when I read and reread my collection of fables.

Recently, however, I had an insight that has given me a new way of thinking about the story.

There are many variations of this classic tale—in case you don’t remember it, here’s my version:

Once upon a time, there was a farmer who ran a snug little farm. In the stable, he kept a hardworking ass. Inside the house, he kept a playful lap dog.

The farmer made the ass work hard in the fields all day, but the farmer petted the dog, gave him treats, and laughed when the dog jumped into his lap and licked his face.

The ass became wistful when he saw the kindness that the dog received. He felt lonely and forgotten in his stable, where no one spoke to him or gave him treats. So, to receive the same attention as the dog, the ass left his stable and walked into the house, knocking over furniture and breaking china as he moved. When he spotted the farmer sitting in his chair, he put his heavy hooves on the farmer’s lap, and gave the farmer’s surprised face a big lick.

The angry farmer called for help, and his servant rushed to drag the ass outside. When the ass was forced back into his stable, the servant beat him soundly.

The accepted moral of this story is “Behavior that is regarded as agreeable in one is very rude and impertinent in another. Do not try to win favor by acting in a way that is contrary to your own nature and character.”

As a child, I hated this story and its smug moral. I felt so sorry for the poor ass, who was forgotten and got no appreciation for all his hard work, while the pampered dog gobbled up treats and lounged around.

And why did the lap dog get such better treatment? Because he was small, cute, and fun. It was easy to give affection to the little dog, but much harder to be affectionate to the big donkey, who was large and awkward, and who didn’t have such winning ways.

I was reminded of this fable recently, when I was reviewing my big collection of “Proverbs of the Professions.” I’ve been collecting these proverbs for years, and one of my favorite, and largest, collections comes from the teaching profession.

I paused to reflect when I read the teachers’ proverb: “The children who are hardest to love need it the most,” and the related proverb, “Kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unlovable ways.”

It’s easy to show love for a little dog. Maybe it’s harder to show love to an ass. But the ass craves love, and is worthy of love, even if he’s very awkward and troublesome when he tries to get it.

I think the proverbs from the teachers are much better lessons for this classic fable.