One of my favorite resolutions — and I write about it in my books The Happiness Project and Happier at Home — is to celebrate minor holidays. This resolution started as “Celebrate holiday breakfasts,” but over time, I realized that that my real purpose was to find more occasions for levity.

Celebrating minor holidays is fun, it’s low-stress, and it helps make memories.

What is a minor holiday?

A minor holiday is any holiday that feels celebratory but not stressful — where you do something to observe the day, but not much. Say, wear green on St. Patrick’s Day. It’s fun, but not very hard. 

One of my favorite minor holidays is April Fools’ Day, because I love pranking my daughters. I baffled Eliza by freezing her bowl of Cheerios; I revolted Eleanor by dyeing the milk in the carton blue; I surprised them both when I put googly eyes on every container in the fridge. (My pranks have always had to take place at breakfast, so I got them done before school.)

This year, because both my daughters were out of the house, I needed to figure out a prank I could pull off by texting.

On April 1, at 10 a.m., I sent a message to Eliza, then Eleanor: “A detective is going to call you. Just stay calm and tell the truth. It will be fine.” I liked this idea so much that I pranked Jamie, too—I tweaked my message for him: “A detective is going to call you soon. But it’s no big deal, don’t worry.”

Within seconds, I got frantic texts back from Eliza and Eleanor and a phone call from Jamie.

I’m terrible at bluffing, so I immediately responded with “April Fools!” “I GOT GOT” responded Eliza; Eleanor wrote “Wow. you got me. That was your best yet.” Jamie replied, “She got us all.” I’ve been bragging about it ever since.

Why celebrate minor holidays?

One of the main themes of my happiness project is memory. Time passes quickly when every day feels the same. Celebrating minor holidays makes time stand out. Because the day is unusual, it’s more memorable.

Minor holidays also give us an occasion for whimsy — for silliness, for fun, for taking a break from routine. They give us an outlet for creativity with decorations, special treats, and costumes.

Also, studies show that family traditions are important to happiness. Family rituals encourage children’s social development and boost feelings of family cohesiveness by 17 percent. They help provide connection and predictability, which people — especially children — crave.

The fact is, the major holidays can become a lot of work. It’s nice to celebrate in a very manageable way.

How to celebrate a minor holiday

One year, for Leap Day (February 29), I took my daughters to Ripley’s Believe It or Not and to Dylan’s Candy Bar. As adventures go, it wasn’t very ambitious. We barely left our neighborhood, and the entire outing lasted less than three hours. Still, it felt special, like a “treat.” I know myself; I have to keep my resolutions manageable, or I can’t keep them at all. One of my most important Secrets of Adulthood comes from Voltaire: Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

For me, Leap Day is a variation of Opposite Day. It’s a day when unexpected and crazy things can happen. I’m usually very focused on family members being ready for bed on time, and while I don’t enforce my own low-carb rules on my family, I usually don’t go out of my way to seek out high-sweets situations.

But that’s the fun of Leap Day, and the thing that will make it memorable: It’s so different from what we usually do.

For most minor holidays, I prepare a “holiday breakfast.” I copied this idea from a friend after I saw how she’d set her table for Valentine’s Day. For instance, for Valentine’s Day, I put out my special placemats and heart-shaped plates, scatter a few Sweethearts and Hershey’s Kisses around the table, and dye the milk pink. For Halloween, I have special plates, special pumpkin candles, and I dye the peanut butter black. For birthdays, I have a special gold crown, a special candle, and a big banner.

How to keep minor holiday traditions low-stress

Like most traditions, a holiday breakfast can be a bit of a pain. Some mornings, I don’t feel much like pulling out the decorations and getting everything set up. But the preparations aren’t very onerous, and it’s a lot of fun.

A few tips to make celebrating minor holidays easier:

• Make it a habit. I don’t ask myself, “What, if anything, should we do for Valentine’s Day this year?” I just follow the plan without any debate, and I save myself a lot of strain.
• Re-use the same decorations every year, so I don’t have to spend money or do errands.
• Store them in one place. I have a very precise place in the kitchen where I keep my holiday-breakfast decorations, so I don’t have to scramble to find anything.

Finally, remember that traditions change as a family changes. For years, I photographed my daughters in their Halloween costumes, but after Eleanor left for college, I decided that my Halloween gallery was complete. 

Frequently asked questions about celebrating minor holidays

Why celebrate minor holidays?

Celebrating minor holidays is one way to make time stand out. Because the day is unusual, it’s more memorable, and it’s possible to celebrate in a very manageable way.

How do you create a low-stress family tradition?

Make it a habit, so you don’t have to decide each year what to do. Re-use the same decorations, and keep them in one place.

What are some simple minor holiday ideas for families?

Look for ways to incorporate holiday spirit into your normal routine, like eating breakfast off festive plates or using food dye to change food to holiday colors. You can do a lot of fun things with food dye!