Well, our door is officially open. Yesterday, my husband Jamie and I helped our daughter Eleanor move in to her freshman dorm. I performed that sacred ritual, the-making-of-the-bed, then did what work I could, such as plugging in her power strip, stowing her suitcase, and unpacking her towels. We had lunch with her roommate and her roommate’s family—which was a lot of fun—did a final few tasks, then it was clearly time for us to go. The strain of being pulled in two directions showed in Eleanor’s face. So Jamie and I gave her our last hugs, took some final photos, and left. Hand in hand, we walked to the parking garage and then started the long drive home. I had to smile at the passage that floated through my mind:
Some natural tears they drop’d, but wip’d them soon;
The World was all before them, where to choose
Thir place of rest, and Providence thir guide:
They hand in hand with wandring steps and slow,
Through Eden took thir solitarie way.
Those are the final lines of Milton’s Paradise Lost—which I remember from my own college years! And so it goes.
Onward,
5 Things Making Me Happy
- Send them off with a feel-better box with pain reliever, cough medicine, band aids, etc.
- College dorms have lots of places that might smell bad; consider bringing odor-eliminating products.
- Buy an inexpensive coat tree, for coats, towels, backpacks
Read more creative tips from listeners on my Instagram post.
One of my Twelve Commandments is “Lighten up,” and I have a lot of resolutions aimed at trying to be a more lighthearted parent: less nagging, more laughing. Once my children became teenagers, I added more items to my list for lighthearted parenting.
Speaking of packing for freshman year, Eleanor’s big sister Eliza and I had a great time creating a “Blues Bag.” We found a great bag and filled it with wrapped presents—mostly fun items we bought on our trip to Japan. Whenever Eleanor is feeling homesick or blue during the coming months, she can open a little gift from us.
Last year, I was thrilled to be invited to give the commencement address for my daughter’s high-school graduation. One point from that speech that I’m thinking about this week is this paradox of happiness: You’re unique, exactly like everyone else. You’re one of a kind, and the same thing is true of the people around you. We’re all unique, and we’re also very ordinary. For instance, one of the most universal emotions is the feeling that you don’t belong. So when you feel like you don’t fit in—say, on your first day of freshman year—you fit right in.
As I was clearing up my office, I took a moment to appreciate my evolving “Rolodex of Ideas.” From ancient office-supply artifact to sleek new Muse Machine!
SPOTLIGHT
Explore back-to-school tips in the Happier app.
For many of us, the start of the school year comes with the feeling of a “clean slate,” a change in routine, and new aims, projects, and goals. To help you continue to build the habits that make you happier this season, we’ve created a collection of clips from the Happier podcast featuring tips for back to school. Find them on the Explore tab in the Happier™ app.
This week on Happier with Gretchen Rubin
PODCAST EPISODE: 496
We discuss research suggesting that during the first three weeks with strangers in a new environment (such as a cruise or college), we have a special window for making friends. We also talk about why setting an alarm can alleviate restlessness and anxiety, and we address a question from an Obliger about how to deal with the fact that members of her family don’t do their share.
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