My recent book with Oprah, Build the Life You Want, is about getting happier by using the best research on emotional self-management. This skill—managing our emotions so they don’t manage us—is the key ingredient toward building better habits, and in the end, a better life.

We often fall under the illusion that we are our emotions. If we feel lethargic, sad, or anxious, it’s not always easy to separate ourselves from those feelings. But we must first understand that our emotions are merely information. They are stimuli in response to the outside world. To stop thinking of emotions as good or bad, I encourage a practice called metacognition—which is essentially thinking about thinking. If, for example, you often feel unhappy, be metacognitive about it. Ask yourself: What emotion is making me feel unhappy? If it’s sadness, ask yourself: What are the sources of my sadness today? And in pinpointing the source of your sadness, ask yourself: Is my source of sadness out of my control? Or can I do one action today that will work toward reducing my sadness?

A lot of neuroscience supports the idea that saying these answers aloud, or writing them down, will really help dispel the mystery of your emotions. When you verbalize or write down your stress, you move the experience of your emotions to your prefrontal cortex— the “C-Suite” of your brain dedicated to conscious decision-making. In this way, your woes will become much more tangible, and importantly, you will be able to mitigate the sources of your distress more actionably.

If you want to get happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative, use metacognition to reveal the sources of your discomfort, and after weeks and months, you’ll find you are much better off.