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Happier with Gretchen Rubin: Episode 28
Update: Elizabeth is an Obliger, and we're holding her accountable for writing her novel -- she explains why, in fact, she has not yet started.
Try This at Home: Don't interview for pain.
I'm quoting from Michael Thompson and Catherine O'Neill Grace's terrific Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children. I love this book.
Here's the passage I read:
I believe that we live the story we tell ourselves–and others–about the life we’re leading…If you constantly interview your child for pain, your child may begin to hear a story of social suffering emerge from her own mouth. Soon she will begin to believe it and will see herself as a victim….
Please understand that I am not advising you to disbelieve our children, nor am I saying that you should not be empathic…But…don’t interview for pain, don’t nurture resentments, and don’t hold on to ancient history. Kids don’t.
Happiness Stumbling Block: Navigating the challenges of shared work. This is a very common stumbling block!
Listener Questioner: "My husband loves to have ice cream in the freezer, but I find myself in the kitchen with a spoon at 10:00 a.m. because I just cannot get the ice cream out of my head." To hear the Abstainer vs. Moderator discussion, it's in episode 2.
Elizabeth’s Demerit: Elizabeth was so stressed about her family being on time for the first day of kindergarten that they showed up too early.
Gretchen’s Gold Star: I love my special drawer. Can you think of a better name? Special drawer is a little...generic.