Podcast 37: Meet a Work Deadline, but Can’t Go Running on Your Own? You May be an Obliger.

It’s time for the next installment of  “Happier with Gretchen Rubin.”

Update:  Elizabeth and I reminisce about the trip we took together when I recorded a Super Soul Sunday episode with Oprah! Yes, I'm going to be on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday on November 8, 7:00 pm EST/PT on the OWN channel (find your station here). Please watch. I’ll be live-tweeting while it airs.

Boy, Elizabeth and I had fun on that adventure. But I have to admit, I can hardly remember anything from the interview; it was such an out-of-body experience. So I'll be curious to see if I remember it, once I watch it.

Today is the third in the series of four episodes that we’re devoting to the Four Tendencies.  In last week’s episode, we talked about the Upholder Tendency; this week, it’s Obliger.

To find out if you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel, take the Four Tendencies quiz here.

Try This at Home: If you're an Obliger, or you're around an Obliger (which you surely are), help the Obliger to figure out a system of outer accountability so the Obliger can meet an inner expectation.

If you want to start a group for people who are holding each other accountable, get the starter kit here.

Strengths and Weaknesses of Obligers:  How to identify and take advantage of the strengths, and counter-balance the weaknesses, of the Tendency.

Striking Pattern of Obligers: Obliger-rebellion. Obligers will meet, meet, meet, meet expectations -- and then suddenly, they snap, and refuse to meet an expectation. This can be a symbolic, small act, or a hugely explosive act.

Listener Question: "I'm an Obliger, and I find that disturbing. I should be my own priority. Is it possible to move from Obliger to Upholder?"

Gretchen’s Demerit: After years of feeling bad about the fact that I don't work very productively when I travel, I decided -- hey, no more demerits, I'm going to use that time to read for fun.

Elizabeth’s Gold Star: Adam suggested, "No more unkind voices."

Call for comments, questions, observations!

We’re spending four weeks talking about my Four Tendencies framework for human nature. One more week to go -- Rebels! We’ve already had many thought-provoking responses, but we want more.

• Take the Quiz to find out if you’re a Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel here.
• Listen to Elizabeth and me discuss the framework here.
• Read the chapter on the Four Tendencies in Better Than Before
• Please, send in your questions and comments by voicemail, email, etc.