Podcast 139: Why It’s Good to Be Full of Desire But Easy to Please, Why You Might Not Want to Be an Accountability Partner–and Elizabeth Grills.


In episode 134, when our listener Eugenia said she felt bad because her father-in-law often gave her potted plants, and she could never keep them aliveColleen — whom I met in person in San Francisco, so fun — wrote to let us know that in fact, those kinds of potted plants aren’t meant to last very long.

Try This at Home

Be full of desire, but easy to please. Inspired by our parents, who are very easy house-guests. This suggestion is related to this “A Little Happier” episode — sometimes, being very specific about what we want allow others to revel in the pleasure of giving.

Happiness Hack

When guests come to stay, Claire suggests switching the photos on display in the guest room, to feature them, as a way to make them feel particularly welcomed.

Four Tendencies Tip

We got a question from our listener Shivani:
My roommate is an Obliger, whereas I am a Questioner. We are in the same graduate school program, so we have lots of overlap with classes and spend LOTS of time together. I sometimes find myself questioning why she needs external accountability, why she can’t plan for herself, etc. There are times where I can remind myself that “that is just her Tendency and by working with it we can both be happier,” but many times I find myself being exhausted by being the external accountability, and don’t know why she can’t just be her own external accountability. (I suggested putting post-its of reminders wherever she needs.) What do you suggest we do for better communication of expectations without sounding condescending on my end?
If you want to take the Quiz to tell you whether you’re a Questioner like my husbandan Upholder like me, an Obliger like Elizabeth, or a Rebel like Chris Guillebeau of “Side Hustle School,” it’s here. Or to learn even more, buy The Four Tendencies book. If you want to use the Better app to join or create an accountability group, search for “Better Gretchen Rubin” in the app store, or go here.

Listener Question

Hillary asks us to explain the process that we use to prepare the “Happier” episodes each week.

Gretchen’s Demerit

On my book tour, instead of spending my hotel time in reading, writing, answering emails, or other useful activities, I watched countless hours of HGTV shows. I’ve seen many episodes of “Property Brothers” and “Fixer Upper.” Elizabeth and I have stumbled on a new idea: when one of us contests the other’s demerit. Elizabeth contests this demerit.

Elizabeth’s Gold Star

Liz Craft Happier Podcast Grilling

Free Resources

  1. Want personalized, signed bookplates or signature cards for your copies of my books, or for gifts for friends? Request them here. U.S. and Canada only, sorry — mailing costs.




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