373: Ask for Knock, Dealing with “Obliger Shame,” and a Great Creativity Booster

We’ve had a great response to our soporific More Happier episode. We’re so happy to hear that people found it either a) interesting or b) sleep-inducing. What a thrill and honor!

The Happier app has been nominated for two—that’s right, two—Webby awards, given for excellence on the internet. The Happier app is nominated twice in the “Apps and Software” category: for “Best Visual Design-Function” and for “Best User Interface.” Plus the app is eligible for the “Webby Awards People’s Voice,” which is voted on by the online public. So, if you have the time and inclination, I’d be so grateful if you’d take a moment to cast your vote here. It’s quick and easy. 

Try This at Home

Ask for a knock.

Happiness Hack

To boost your own creativity with a terrific new tool, or to give someone else a gift, I recommend the John Derian Sticker Book.  

Gretchen holding a book of John Derian's Sticker book

If you’d like to watch a short video that shows off the book and suggests some imaginative ways to use the stickers, it’s here

Four Tendencies Tip

A listener asked if other people have noticed the pattern of “Obliger Shame.” If you want to take a quiz to learn whether you’re an Obliger, Questioner, Upholder, or Rebel, take the free, quick quiz here. More than 3.2 million people have taken the quiz.

Demerits & Gold Stars

Gretchen’s Demerit: I was very nice to Jamie while he was sick, then started snapping at him once he recovered. 

Elizabeth’s Gold Star: Elizabeth gives a gold star to Jack’s terrific boxing coach, Fidel Briseno.


  • We just passed 100th Day of the Year. This milestone is a great reminder to celebrate your progress, evaluate what’s working and what isn’t, and plan for the next 100 days. And if you haven’t yet started on your aims, that’s okay—now is always the best time to begin
    • Download my “Checklist for Habit Change.” This one-page chart will help you deploy the many strategies for habit change as you work on a crucial key habit. Visit gretchenrubin.com/resources and scroll down to “Better Than Before.”
    • If you’re looking for a new tool to support or celebrate your progress, shop here  and use code GOLDSTAR (one word) at checkout for 20% off the Happiness Project Collection (excludes home goods) now through midnight PT on April 17th.

What we’re reading

  • Elizabeth: Listening to How Do I Un-remember This? Unfortunately True Stories by Danny Pellegrino (AmazonBookshop)
  • Gretchen: True Biz by Sara Nović (AmazonBookshop)

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