Update
We mention the Calendar of Catalysts and celebrating “10/10 Day.”
Try This at Home
Create a time capsule. We often talk about great ways to hold on to memories, and this is a creative, simple way.
Two easy ways to organize a time capsule include:
Storage Box: This box is great for 3D items. Remember to keep things well curated, and if possible, small and light.
The Memento Journal: This journal works well for 2D items, like papers, tickets, invitations, or postcards.
Here’s my friend’s time capsule of 2022.
Elizabeth and I are both going to create a time capsule for 2023.
Happiness Hack
If you’re entertaining, give holiday “crackers” to your guests. They look great and add a lot of festivity.
Bonus hack: When entertaining, use an upcoming holiday as a decorating theme.
Also, speaking of holidays, if you want to plan ahead for your future-self, take a look at the new Holiday Jump-start. It makes planning easier and more fun.
Four Tendencies Tip
To find out whether you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel, take the free, quick quiz here.
A listener asks how to help a high school senior, a Rebel, to get to school on time.
Listener Question
Question for listeners! What are your hacks and ideas about decorating? Do you have any tips for storing, organizing, displaying, curating, creating, or identifying holiday decorations?
Demerits & Gold Stars
Gretchen’s Demerit: I screwed up the time of an important meeting when I was traveling in a different time zone.
Elizabeth’s Gold Star: She gives herself a gold star for entertaining.
Resources:
Get 10% off with code: TIMECAPSULE10
What we’re reading:
Gretchen:
Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we explore how to create happier habits in our everyday lives. This week we’ll talk about why you might want to create a time capsule, and we will talk about a listener’s question about how to help a Rebel student get to school on time.
[music]
Gretchen:
I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, the five senses, the Four Tendencies, and human nature. And I’m in my little home office in New York City. Joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. And Elizabeth, happy almost Halloween!
Elizabeth:
That’s me. Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in L.A. and Gretch, I just located my corgi Halloween t-shirt yesterday. So I’m ready.
Gretchen:
You’re ready. Okay. I want to see that. I need a photo at some point. Before we launch in, we have a few updates. We love the Calendar of Catalyst with all the dates across the year to help us remember to reflect and to think about what changes we want to make, and we got a great response to our suggestion to celebrate 10/10, October 10th, which is the ten out of ten day, where you give yourself credit for everything that’s going right.
Elizabeth:
Yes. Beth Ann said, “I listened to episode 398 and was struck by your brief mention of making the ordinary upcoming date October 10th into a special day, making it a 10/10 celebration of something that is going great. I am a high school teacher in a highly competitive district. I begin each class with an attendance question to have a little fun before we get into our coursework. Making October 10th the celebration day was a perfect way to bring some joy to my class. I shared this with my classes and my students had so many great things to share from excitement for homecoming to feeling relief that an MLB team is not advancing to being happy the fish in their aquariums are still alive.”
Gretchen:
That was so fun! I’ll post a link to the Calendar of Catalysts if people want that. And then sort of on the subject of holiday cards, I’m so interested in what a rich mine of thought and planning and traditions are around holiday cards. So we heard from a couple of people about holiday cards.
Elizabeth:
Yes, Kim, who mentions that she is a former resident of Kansas City, Missouri, our hometown. Says, “While listening to Episode 399, I recalled a crazy Christmas card project I worked on during that first holiday season of the pandemic. I was always one of those people who saved the Christmas card slash photos I received every year. I had the inspiration to organize them since I had so much time on my hands.I bundled each family’s cards together chronologically and then mailed that little package back to them for Christmas. For some families, I had two decades of pictures to return. Wow. What a response. I received phone calls, emails, and cards from so many old friends. It was a treat to hear that these cards reminded them of times past or filled in the gaps of their own holiday archives. I had fun receiving the cards initially, but thoroughly enjoyed returning the favor and decluttering as well.”
Gretchen:
Whoa! Win, win, win.
Elizabeth:
Yes.
Gretchen:
Well, this reminds me of a couple of years ago, probably my oldest friend, the person in my life who I’ve been friends with the longest. Her mother happened to show me an invitation that I had sent as, like, an eight-year-old. My birthday party invitation. And ever since then, I have zealously kept all of Eliza and Eleanor’s birthday party invitations because it was so moving to me to see that. I had forgotten I remembered it. And so showing people these relics from their past can be so powerful. And this is also it’s like it’s not that valuable to you and you’re clearing your clutter and you’re creating something wonderful for somebody else. I thought this was beautiful. I have to say, I like I get rid of the cards right away after the holiday but a lot of people keep them. And so what do you do with them? So one person mailed them back. And here’s what we heard from Carrie, who had a different solution.
Elizabeth:
She said, “About ten years ago, I started saving all our received holiday cards by punching a hole in the corner and tying them together with a holiday ribbon or twine. It started as a sentimental thing because it pains me to toss our friends’ and family’s faces in the recycling bin and has become a highlight of each season as we take the box from its shelf and place it in a central place.My daughter, now 15, in particular, enjoys looking at how much families have changed over time. I place our family card in the cover and it serves as a nice family record of our seasons as well. Never too late to start this one, and it does bring us so much happiness both in the season and at the end when we collect them all to be put together.”
Gretchen:
So I think this is a great idea because it turns them into part of your holiday decorations. It keeps them organized and coherent. I think that’s a great idea. I love that. Here’s a question for you, Elizabeth. Do you think people are sending more holiday cards or less? Because I think on the one hand, maybe COVID got people out of the habit, but then, on the other hand, people are like really into photographs now and like milestone photographs. What do you think?
Elizabeth:
Yeah, I can’t quite tell. I mean, one thing is, because of social media, we see each other’s photos all the time. I think they’re less necessary because you know what someone’s child looks like because you see them online. So I’m not sure…
Gretchen:
And also you can email a holiday card. I’ve seen a lot of people doing that. That’s one thing I know you’re thinking about doing. Yeah. So, yeah, well, maybe this holiday we’ll be able to see where the trend is going.
Elizabeth:
Yes. I’m curious.
Gretchen:
And speaking of the holidays, we are going to do a Gift Guide. We try to do this every year, where we have unconventional ideas for gifts. So any gift ideas? Also, we are looking especially for gifts to teachers and school staff because many people say I need ideas for a teacher. Often they have monetary limits and things like that. And what do teachers want? They receive so many gifts… what do they actually want? And then stocking stuffers. What are those fun little things that aren’t just junk? You don’t want to buy, just like, a bunch of stocking stuffers that nobody really wants. But then after you’ve bought the nice hand soap, what else for a stocking stuffer? And one more thing. What about ideas for things children can make? I think people really love to get a handmade gift. Do you have any cool ideas for something that’s pretty simple and straightforward that a child could make for a grandparent? You can break out your laminate or your chrome binder… What else is there?
Gretchen:
Let us know. We are gathering those.
Elizabeth:
Yes.
Gretchen:
Okay, our Try This at Home Tip this week is to create a time capsule. Now, I am so interested in all the different ways to hang on to memories and especially things that are not that time-consuming or expensive to do. And I was reminded of my interest in time capsules because we got this question from our listener, Erin.
Elizabeth:
Yeah, she said, “I’m expecting my first child later this year. And I’ve been thinking a lot about ways to capture moments of their childhood and create memories as they grow up. Things like celebrating minor holidays, the photo albums you put together, and the way you keep their notable documents organized and file folders. Do you have a resource available that summarizes these tips? I’d love to start implementing some of these ideas from day one.”
Gretchen:
Okay, so this is a great idea. We do not have a compilation of all these ideas, though, that’s now on the to-do list. If people are interested, if that’s something that you think would be interesting, let us know and we can do that. But I think an idea that we’ve never talked about before, and Elizabeth, we’ve never really thought about this before for ourselves is to create a time capsule.
Elizabeth:
Yes. I can’t believe we’ve never done this before, Gretchen, because it just feels like something we should do. You could do it for 2022, which is ending. Or you could look ahead and say, okay, I’m going to do a time capsule for 2023, and sort of gather things throughout the year and put them in your time capsule.
Gretchen:
Yes. And we have two suggestions. I love thinking about this. I have to say, you know, just as a side note on time capsules. When I went to one of my 25th college reunion, it turns out that a bunch of guys I was friends with had made a time capsule when they were seniors to open at the 25th reunion. So we were all really excited, like now like it’s here. So they went to go find it. It turned out that the college had paved over. It had made this paved terrace. And the last thing I know, one guy said to the other guy, okay, you go get like a hatchet. And I’m like, okay, I don’t know what happened. I never heard. I hope they…
Elizabeth:
Abandon that plan.
Gretchen:
I hope so. It was late at night. I could see them getting pretty far on it before they got stopped. So I hope it all ended well for them. But it was a really great idea. It reminded me of how fun a time capsule could be. Yeah. So here are two ideas for time capsules. Okay? One is you use a box and so on The Happiness Project site in the shop, there’s this really very cunning storage box. It folds flat and it’s just a really good size because it fits very well on a shelf. It’s not so big that, you know, you got to like have a storage room in your basement or something. This is something that you could put on a regular closet shelf, and it’s big enough to hold stuff, but it’s not so big that you’re putting too much in it because we talk about this all the time. When you have memories collected, you want to curate them. You want to choose things that are few in number and hopefully pretty small so that you can enjoy them and collect them and they don’t overwhelm you with… or that they take up so much room that it just becomes a huge element in how you manage your household. You want to keep things you don’t want to, you know, beef up on all that stuff.
Elizabeth:
Well, and I like the idea for this, Gretchen, that it can be for everyone in the household because I think we do a lot of saving things from the kids. But the idea that 2023 for our family, what was important with Jack, what was important for me and for Adam, and of course, Nacho and Daisy, that gives you a whole picture instead of just the child memories.
Gretchen:
Right. Because you’re right. Because it’s very typical to do Baby’s First Year or High School or something. But yeah, you could imagine doing it for something like My First Year as a Solopreneur or College Years, but then like doing it as a family. I think that’s a great idea. It’s a different way to have a kind of snapshot of time.
Elizabeth:
And then, Gretch, if people don’t want a box, you also have your Memento Journal. I have mine right here, which is I’m holding it up for anyone on YouTube. I have mine. You can see I have this stuff sticking out of it to put in. Yeah. And it’s got like pockets. I love that this was inspired by something our grandparents gave us.
Gretchen:
Oh, yeah. Here it is for people who want to.
Elizabeth:
Oh, you have it.
Gretchen:
Yeah. Oh, let’s see. It’s got, like, my report cards, like my, my handwriting as a kid.
Elizabeth:
I’m using this, too, which I think is super easy. And I just keep it on my desk and stick things like I like… Well, I don’t know if it’s I’m using it as a time capsule as more of a keepsake thing. But you could use it for the time capsule.
Gretchen:
Yeah. So I started thinking if I wanted to use a Memento Journal, it’s a time capsule, what might I put into it? And so I was thinking, you can do things like letters to your future self, the 22 for 22 list, some printed favorite photos, favorite books, TVs, movie of the year. Often that kind of brings a year to mind for you, things related to my one-word theme postcards, invitations center received, thank you notes…
Elizabeth:
I like keeping thank you notes even though I never write them or yeah, keeping the ones I receive.
Gretchen:
Or an email if you got an email that was really meaningful, like sometimes you’ll read and reread an email, but I mean, print that.
Gretchen:
Yeah, yeah. So, you know, ticket stubs, all that stuff, that’s for things that’s really two dimensional. Because I think some people like the things and maybe it’s like the wrapper of our favorite new snack food. And then some people want things that are more paper-based. I’m a huge fan of Andy Warhol’s work. Not so much his art, but his writings and his interview, and his way of thinking. And one thing that Andy Warhol did is he had this huge project. He made more than 600 time capsules, and he would just collect anything related to a time. And he did it like every three months. I think there are more than 600 of these time capsules and they have stuff like food that’s gone bad that he just stuck in there and then very valuable artworks and that the cataloging of this is this huge process. Andy Warhol was very, very focused on different ways to hold onto time. So I really resonated with that aspect of the way he approaches the world. It makes you realize, the possibilities of a time capsule.
Elizabeth:
And it would be fun, I mean, to actually if you had a box, you could even bury it in the backyard.
Gretchen:
Yeah, yeah. Not this box. I think it would just disintegrate, which is maybe good. But you could have. Yeah, you could put it in a plastic box. Yeah. There’s something kind of magical about that. So then the bigger question is like, well, why does this make us happier? And I do think that holding on to memories, showing a reverence for the things of everyday life, the things that are important to us, and maybe they’re not going to be important to us forever, but they’re important to us now. The things related to our identity, you know, you want to hold on to these things, but where do you keep them? Where do they go? You can stick them in a desk drawer, but then they just become kind of like, okay, what does this all mean? And then this way you can find them. Like you could be like, okay, this is 2022. Let me open it up and I’ll have like a coherent picture of that time. Okay. So, Elizabeth, what are we going to do? We’ve set this as a Try This at Home. How are we going to Try This at Home?
Elizabeth:
Yes, Gretch. Well, I am getting one of your boxes. I’m going to use a box and yeah, I’ve been trying to think about what I’ll put in it. I think something definitely for me with a lightning bolt because they’ve been all about the lightning bolt. Yeah, probably Jack’s school schedule.
Gretchen:
So are you going to do it for 22 or for 23?
Elizabeth:
23, I think. I think I like the idea of adding items as the year goes.
Gretchen:
As the year goes. Yeah, I think that’s what I’m going to do too. I do have a lot of things related to COVID, and I think I may I may decide to also do one for COVID. It doesn’t quite feel like it’s in the rear window yet. so, it’s like, okay, let’s wait till it’s over.
Elizabeth:
Oh, that’s a really interesting idea.
Gretchen:
Yeah. Because that’s something that like 25 years from now might be really interesting to see. And I did gather stuff along the way, but I want to do it for 23, too. Okay. So we’re going to do this, Elizabeth. This can be our first item on our 23 for 23 lists… is to keep a time capsule.
Elizabeth:
Okay. I like that. Yeah. Get one down, 22 more to go.
Gretchen:
I know. Exactly. I know. And I have not been doing well on my 22 for 22 lists like spoiler alert. We will talk about that soon. But if you want to see a time capsule, my friend Adam, who works with me, he has a time capsule that he’s done. So he said he would send a picture. So I’ll put that in the show notes if you want inspiration. But let us know if you do Try This at Home, if you’ve done it in the past, if you’re planning to do it in the future, do you feel more like a time capsule should be like two-dimensional things, three-dimensional things? Are you doing it for yourself, for your family, for a certain period of time? I do feel like this is one of these things where listeners are going to take it in so many different directions. I’m really excited to hear, so let us know on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. Drop us an email at podcast@gretchenrubin.com. Or as always, you can go to happiercast.com/401 for everything related to this episode.
Elizabeth:
Hey Gretchen, if people want your time capsule receptacles, should they go?
Gretchen:
Yeah, I mean, you can do it in a lot of different ways. But if you want to look at the Storage Box, go to happiercast.com/storagebox. And if you want to look at the Memento Journal, go to happiercast.com/journals. It will take you to all the journals and you’re looking for the Memento Journal and you can get 10% off if you use the code TIMECAPSULE10. But again, I’ll put the links to that in the show notes, if you can remember.
Elizabeth:
All right, Gretch, coming up, I have a Happiness Hack for entertaining, but first this break.
[Music]
Gretchen:
So Elizabeth, what is this entertaining hack?
Elizabeth:
Okay, so Gretchen, I have a group of people who have like a little dinner party club. We’ve been doing it for some years now, although we got waylaid by the pandemic. And I had them over the other night and one thing that I did, which was a big hit, was putting crackers on everybody’s placemat.
Gretchen:
Okay, so is it for people who don’t know what a cracker is… it’s not like a saltine cracker. What is a cracker?
Elizabeth:
It’s like a cardboard paper tube, which is wrapped in brightly colored paper, and twisted at the ends, and there’s what they call a “banger” inside, so that when you pull it, it makes a bang and it explodes in a very safe way. Right, and makes a bang. And then inside.
Gretchen:
Doesn’t make much of a bang. If you’ve never done this, it makes kind of a “pop.” It’s not like an explosive thing. Yeah. And often they don’t even that doesn’t even really work but yeah well.
Elizabeth:
I’ve had good luck. But, and then inside the cracker, there’s always a paper crown made from tissue paper. There’s usually a motto or a joke on a little piece of paper, and then often there’s a little toy or maybe dice or a little top that spins or a key ring or whatever it may be. And these started as a Christmas tradition in Britain dating back to Victorian times, but they’ve become very popular. So you can get them for every holiday. So I got the Halloween theme because we’re getting close to Halloween. You get Christmas, Thanksgiving with a turkey on it. They even have, I think, Easter crackers. So, Valentine’s Day.
Gretchen:
And it’s kind of like the fun of Cracker Jacks where there’s a surprise toy inside and everybody can compare their toys and put on their crowns and they look good. Like, I saw pictures of your table and they add another decorative element so little, they add fun, and they also add to your tablescape. I know you’re all about the tablescape.
Elizabeth:
Yes. And I have to say, of course, Gretchen, that I got this idea from mom. She showed me a picture of one of her tables and she had these. And so I did, as you and I like to do, copy mom’s ideas. But I found out something new, which I never knew about this, which is what you’re supposed to do if you’re around a table, is rather than everybody do their own cracker, which is how I’ve always done it, pulling both ends yourself. You cross arms, and so you’re pulling one side of your cracker and then your neighbor’s. So everyone pulls together and they all go once. And it’s kind of this fun ritual.
Gretchen:
Oh, that’s fun. Yeah, we’ve always done it where just everybody pulls their own. Yeah. So this is whimsy. It’s like something to do at a party, and it really is very fun. So one thing we should say, though, is these are super fun. They can be a little bit pricey. This is a great thing to get after a holiday because they get really marked down. Our mother is the queen of this, getting them after the holiday and then keeping them. And speaking for planning ahead, you know, I have my Holiday Jump-Start for people who want to start their planning early. If you go to happiercast.com/holidays, you can get that Jump-Start. And one of the things, I think, is buy stuff after a holiday, so you can get a good bargain. Yeah. So, listen, you completely inspired me. They are so fun.
Elizabeth:
Yeah, they really are. And these were particularly cute. Yeah. I’ll send you a picture of what it looked like.
Gretchen:
And now for a Four Tendencies Tip. And of course, if you don’t know if you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel, you can go to quiz.gretchenrubin.com and find out what the heck we’re talking about. But right now, we’re just going to jump into the Four Tendencies
Elizabeth:
Yes. And this comes from Linda in Kansas City, another Kansas City. “I work in a high school and oversee attendance, among other things. We have a senior who has a history of being late to school. And this year is no different. Some days it is even just one or 2 minutes. But he does not make it to class on time. We have tried giving detentions, talking to him, calling his parents, and we stoop so low as to bribe him with a gift card. But he has nine tardies right now. I really think he has Rebel tendencies. What strategies do you think might work? When reading up on Rebels, I see it as something he must think is important and is able to do in his own way and in his time. Any thoughts?”
Interesting.
Gretchen:
Well, okay, I have so many thoughts. What hits you first?
Elizabeth:
Well, my first question is: does it matter if he’s late? Is it really disrupting anybody or causing him not to get his education? Or do you just accept this because it is what it is and it’s never going to change?
Gretchen:
Well, and you might say, like, well, why should we make an exception for one child? But if they’re trying to give him gift cards, it’s like, well, what about all the kids who come on time and don’t get a gift card? He’s already being treated differently. And so I think, yeah, if you’re just sort of like this is just this kid thing, also the fact that he’s one or 2 minutes late absolutely to my mind shows that he can do it. He just needs to feel like you’re not telling him what to do. And they also like a challenge. So if you said something like, “Well, look, this just seems like something that’s not possible for you and it’s just taking too much of our time and attention to kind of monitor it. So if you’re going to be late, you’re just going to miss what you’re going to miss and we’re just not going to pay attention,” then it might take the pressure off because then he’s not being told what to do. And so then he might just feel like, well, whatever. It’s just, it will take the tension out of it. Now, in terms of identity, they do sometimes like a challenge. So if you said to him like, “Hey, you know, no one thinks you could possibly be on time.”
Elizabeth:
“We have a bet going of how many times you’re going to be late.”
Gretchen:
Yeah, exactly. “So and so told me like, ‘Oh, if this kid made up his mind, he could be on time for every day for the rest of the year.’ And I said, ‘Are you kidding? That kid? No way he could do that,’ you know. I mean, so you set up a challenge that can feel manipulative to people. I get that. But I’m just saying, I’ve heard from Rebels when that kind of thing gets framed for them, it often does sort of ignite that spirit. He might think a certain kind of kid might think about his being a role model for others. If you’re like, “Hey, look, for you, it doesn’t matter. But for some children, yeah, if they’re late, it’s really going to hurt them. And I know others look up to you as a senior. I know that you wouldn’t want to have other kids suffer or, like, do worse in school or have a worse experience because they’re just trying to emulate you.” But here’s something that’s really, this is like, okay, going right to the Rebek inventiveness and like their own creativity and thinking about how to go out of the box. So I heard from this woman who said that she had a rebel child, a little kid, and he refused to hold her hand when they were crossing the street. Obviously, this is something that is like of life and death importance. This is not something that you can compromise on and hand wave. She’s like to the kid. She’s like, “he wouldn’t do it.” She wouldn’t give up. And finally she said, “Well, look, I’ll let you do it in your own way. I can’t let you cross the street on your own. It’s too dangerous. What do you propose?” And he thought and he said, “I’ll hold on to the stroller.” Because he had a baby sister who was in a stroller. And she said, “You cannot let go of the stroller.” And he’s like, “If you let me hold on to the stroller, I’ll do it that way.” And then—problem solved. So maybe you say to this kid, “Hey, tell us, how could you do this in your own way?” And he might be able to come up with something that would be acceptable to everyone. Yeah, because one or two minutes is suggesting this is not a child who has some kind of, like, insurmountable challenge. He just doesn’t want you to tell him what to do.
Elizabeth:
Yes, it does sound like that.
Gretchen:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the fact that he’s coming one or two minutes [late] means that he takes school seriously. He’s not missing first period.
Elizabeth:
Yeah. And I have to say, this sounds like a great school or they’re really on top of things.
Gretchen:
Yeah, no, right. But also I would say to the Questioner side of it for a Questioner, it’s like, what difference does one or two minutes matter? Why do you care if I’m ten minutes late? What are you doing in those two minutes? It’s like, this is just nonsense chit-chat of school announcements or something. It doesn’t matter. So then that feeling of like, why should I care? Why does it matter? That also can kind of get into that. So you want to have an answer of like, well, why do you care? Why does it matter?
Elizabeth:
Jack has a teacher who considers you late if you’re not there when the bell rings, even if she hasn’t yet taken attendance. And Jack feels strongly that if you’re there for attendance, you should not be counted late.
Gretchen:
Interesting.
Elizabeth:
Maybe he has a Questioner, Gretch.
Gretchen:
Maybe because that is definitely like, yeah, “What does it mean?” Yeah. Eleanor… like they would give you optional math, but then you had to do it and she’s like, “If it’s optional, I’m not doing it. If it’s assigned, I’ll do it. But don’t tell me it’s optional and then tell me to do it.” And I was like, I’m with you. Anyways if other people have great solutions for this because this is obviously very specific situation, but you can imagine it coming up in an adult context or a family context as well. Let us know because you know, the Rebel Tendency, there’s so much power and there’s so much creativity and direction. Sometimes we don’t want to make things worse for them just by making them feel like they’re being controlled, which is something Rebels do not like.
Elizabeth:
Yes, interesting question.
Gretchen:
Yeah. And speaking of questions, we have a question for you. We have a little bit of a decorating theme in this episode. So we would love to hear from listeners about what are your hacks and ideas for decorating. Do you have any tips for storing or organizing, curating, displaying, and identifying holiday decorations? We heard about using holiday cards as an element of holiday decorations, and using crackers as a way to decorate easily for the holidays. So let us know because these are really interesting ideas and it seems like people get a big kick out of them.
Elizabeth:
Yes. Can’t wait to hear those ideas. All right, Gretch, coming up, you’ve got a scheduling demerit. But first this break.
[Music]
Elizabeth:
Okay, Gretch, it is time for Demerits and Gold Stars and you are up this week with a Happiness Demerit.
Gretchen:
Okay, I made such a rookie mistake and I saw it coming. That’s the thing that annoys me. So I was traveling from the East Coast time zone to Mountain Time, which is its own confusing thing because—is Mountain Time the same thing as Pacific Time? Sometimes, yes, I think, sometimes no. I’ve never been quite clear. So I just kept, when I was there, I just kept checking like, what time is it? But I had an appointment scheduled and I thought that I had enough time before I had to leave for the airport because of the time. But what I didn’t realize was that somehow my calendar had adjusted it for local time, and I still don’t quite understand what was adjusted where. But I know enough to know that when I’m crossing time zones, it often becomes very confusing. And I made a mistake. And, then it just took a lot of kind of it wasn’t a big problem that it took a lot of logistics to reschedule. And it was very unnecessary because if I’d understood the actual time that things were happening, it would have been obvious to me that I had to leave for the airport when that thing was scheduled for. So I started doing this thing, and if people have good solutions, I’d love to know, but I’ve started doing something that in the notes in my calendar, I would type out something like, “This is 8 a.m. my time or something.” Now if you type certain things, my digital calendar tries to enter it as a thing. So I have to like outfox it.
Elizabeth:
Yes, it is a problem of the digital calendar is this exact thing. I think we have all experienced this right? It can be very confusing, especially if, like me, you have a shared calendar. So if Sarah and I are in two different times.
Gretchen:
Oh my gosh.
Elizabeth:
It’s absolute chaos. We have no idea when anything is happening. I know. Yeah. You have to constantly text each other like, wait, what? What time is this happening? And what zone? Yes, yes. We get very confused.
Gretchen:
And then I start to think, well, what did I do when I used my Ye Olde FiloFax? And I’m just like, I always just put it down at local time and I’m like, “When I get there, it’ll be 9 a.m.” I don’t have to think about, well, it would be noon if I were still in New York City because I’m like, no, if I’m in Los Angeles, it’s at 9 a.m. So anyway, but it caused a lot of hassle and a lot of people had to like shuffle things around. And so it was annoying and not just to me but to several other people. So I felt very bad about that. But a stumble may prevent a fall. And so, you know, there could be a time where I would, like, missed an airplane or some critical appointment because I hadn’t realized it’s a problem. So believe me, I will always be watching that like a hawk in the future. How about you, Elizabeth? What is your Gold Star this week?
Elizabeth:
Well, Gretch, I am giving myself a gold star for entertaining. As I said, I had my dinner party.
Gretchen:
Yes.
Elizabeth:
And it’s not easy for me to entertain. You know, I get very stressed and anxious.
Gretchen:
Call that hostess in process and our famous “hostess neuroses” in our family.
Elizabeth:
But I did it. And I feel like I presented myself as a fairly relaxed hostess. But more so than other times. I don’t think I yelled at Adam once. I feel that I’m improving and I’m going to give myself a gold star for that.
Gretchen:
Well, I give you a gold star, too. You sent me a lot of pictures and I had so much fun, and I copied them so that I can just as I will often copy mom’s ideas, I can copy your ideas the next time I entertain. Yeah. Congratulations.
Elizabeth:
Thank you. And, drive-by hack, Gretchen, you and I were discussing that if you are hosting something, it can help to have a visual theme. Like even though it wasn’t a Halloween party, I just used Halloween as sort of a general theme because it was close.
Gretchen:
Right, oh, that’s a great idea.
Elizabeth:
You know in February, Valentine’s Day. Just kind of gives you some shape.
Gretchen:
Yeah. Yeah. And it kind of makes it seem like often it gives, like, a color scheme to use. It eliminates decision fatigue potentially, as well as being more fun and whimsical for your guests. The resources for this week. We talked about both of these. It’s the Storage Box: happiercast.com/storagebox. And the Memento Journal. Elizabeth, hold up your Momento Journal That’s happiercast.com/journals. And it’s called the Momento Journal. And again, if you want to get 10% off at checkout, that’s TIMECAPSULE10 and you’ll get 10% off. Elizabeth, what are we reading? What are you reading?
Elizabeth:
I’m reading Visual Thinking: The Hidden Gifts of People Who Think in Pictures, Patterns, and Abstractions by Temple Grandin.
Gretchen:
And I am just about to start This Is Happiness by Niall Williams. And that’s it for this episode of Happier. Remember to Try This at Home: Create a time capsule. Let us know if you’ve tried it in the past, if you’re excited to try it in the future, what are you going to put in your time capsule? How are you going to keep it? How are you going to choose the stuff? We want to know.
Elizabeth:
Thank you to our executive producer, Chuck Reed, and everyone at Cadence 13. Get in touch. Gretchen’s on Twitter @gretchenrubin and I’m @elizabethcraft. Our email address is podcast@gretchenrubin.com.
Gretchen:
And if you like the show, please be sure to tell a friend. I’ve heard from several people who, in honor of our 400th episode, said that they sent the link to a friend of that episode. So thank you very much Gold Star to the people who did that. And if you want to do it again, we would very much appreciate it. That is how people often discover our show.
Elizabeth:
Until next week, I’m Elizabeth Craft.
Gretchen:
And I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward!
[Music]
Gretchen:
So, Elizabeth, how do you come down on the issue of whether to put your dogs in costumes? Are you a fan of the dog costume or are you not a fan of the dog costume?
Elizabeth:
I am a fan of the dog costume.
Gretchen:
How do Nacho and Daisy feel about being put in a costume?
Elizabeth
Yeah, I don’t think they like it as much. We’re supposed to go to a big corgi gathering on the 29th, which is a costume, a corgi costume party on the beach. So that’s going to be quite a sight. And I know Adam will be in charge of the costumes because he’s all about shopping for the corgis.
Gretchen:
I must hear all about it and see a photo slideshow. That is a must.
Elizabeth:
Yes.
[Music]