Mother’s Day is May 14 – my new (can’t resist mentioning that it’s a New York Times bestseller) book, Life in Five Senses, makes a great gift.
Try This at Home
Use the Strategy of Unpairing.
In Better Than Before, my book about the 21 strategies we can use to make or break our habits, I describe the Strategy of Pairing.
I realized that we can also use the Strategy of UNpairing.
Happiness Hack
While waiting in an airport, instead of sitting, walk around. It’s possible to accomplish a surprising number of steps before boarding.
Know Yourself Better
One challenge of life: Accept ourselves, and also expect more from ourselves.
In a particular circumstance, if we’re trying to figure out whether to accept ourselves or to push ourselves out of our comfort zone, it’s helpful to ask: What are the stakes? If the stakes are high, it’s more important to consider pushing ourselves. If the stakes are low, perhaps it’s not worth the time and effort.
Listener Question
A Rebel daughter is trying to help her Rebel father deal effectively with some health challenges.
Don’t know whether you’re a Rebel, Questioner, Upholder, or Obliger? Take the free, short quiz here, and learn more about the “Four Tendencies” personality framework.
Demerits & Gold Stars
- Gretchen’s Demerit: On my book tour, sometimes I’ve been forgetting to keep a notepad nearby, so I can take note of good ideas, examples, and resources that people suggest during my talks.
- Elizabeth’s Gold Star: She gives me a gold star for my book-tour outfits.
Resources
Sign up for my free “Five Things Making Me Happy” weekly newsletter. Exactly what it sounds like!
What We’re Reading
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[Music]
Gretchen
Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast about how to be happier by tuning into your five senses and your habits, among other things. This week we’ll talk about why we might try the Strategy of UNpairing, and we’ll discuss a way I found to get exercise while traveling. I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness. Good habits,
Gretchen
the five senses, and human nature. And I’m traveling because I’m on my book tour. So instead of being in my little home office in New York City, I am in a hotel room. And joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. My sister the sage.
Elizabeth
That’s me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in L.A.. And, Gretch, I wish I was with you. And we could have one of our sisterly adventures.
Gretchen
Yes, I know. We’ve had so much fun traveling together. Before we launch in a few updates, I’m on my book tour and by one word theme for 2023 was Wave. And my visual theme is the woodcut, often referred to as The Great Wave. So I’ve been waving to many people. That’s one of the reasons I picked that word was because I was going to be waving as I met with lots of new readers and listeners.
Gretchen
And finally I noticed something that’s quite obvious, which is that if you look closely at that artwork, the waves look like they have hands on the ends of them. So I realize it is even more like hands waving than I thought.
Elizabeth
Oh, wow. I got to look at it again. Yeah. And then, Gretch, Mother’s Day is May 14th. We want to point out that your new book, Life in Five Senses, makes a great Mother’s Day gift. And it’s got a beautiful cover, so it’s a pretty gift as well. And the book is going to be our book club book for Happier with Gretchen Rubin was a very clear pick, in my opinion.
Elizabeth
We’re going to talk about it at the end of May.
Gretchen
Yes, I’m so excited for that conversation. I love talking about the five senses. And this week our tried this at home suggestion is to use this strategy of unpairing.
Elizabeth
Okay, so Gretchen, Better Than Before you talk about the strategy of pairing which I have used a lot very effectively but you realize you can also unpair.
Gretchen
Yes. So in Better Than Before. I talk about the 21 strategies we can use to make or break our habits. And the strategy of pairing is, as it turns out, a very popular strategy. Elizabeth, you use that. I use it. And with this strategy of pairing, you just pair two things together. It’s not that one is a reward, it’s just that two things go together.
Gretchen
So like you can only watch the Real Housewives when you’re on your treadmill desk, or you can only listen to 20,000 Hertz podcast when you’re out for a walk. Or what I did in college, as I said, that I could only take a shower on a day that I exercised so I could go, a day I could go two days, but if I wanted to take a shower, I had to exercise that day.
Gretchen
And we were just talking about this Elizabeth maybe you would use the strategy of pairing for flossing, that you would decide, I can’t brush my teeth until I floss. And so since you really want to brush your teeth, you’ve lost. But I realize you can also unpair. And this is good because it’s just a way of saying that two things never go together.
Gretchen
So like, you don’t snack during a movie, you don’t pull out your phone. When you’re sitting at a table, you don’t eat in the car because these two things are never paired.
Elizabeth
Yeah, and there’s a lot of things I can think of that people want to unpair, right? Like you said, eating snacks at a movie. Although I, for one, love snacks at a movie and would never give that up. But watching TV in bed. Yes, some people want to unpair that because if you want to sleep more. Yeah. Then if you say, well, I never watch TV in bed, then you’re not turning the TV on and you’re likely to fall asleep.
Elizabeth
Yes. And it was funny, Gretch. I was thinking about what I wanted to unpair in my life. A lot of it centered around complaining. There’s a lot of sort of built in times when I complain, and if I took away the complaining from this pair or activity that I would be complaining less. So for instance, at book club, I’m like, Let me not complain about politics at my book club.
Elizabeth
And then that will cut down on my complaining. I was also thinking when I hike, sometimes I might complain about school. I love Jack’s school, but you know, we can all get complainy about the little things. Yeah. Yeah. Jeez, if I just unpaired complaining about school with hiking, I would be complaining a lot less, which is something I really want to do in life.
Elizabeth
Complain less.
Gretchen
I think the fact that’s nice about unpairing is that we don’t like to deprive ourselves of things. And so whenever something feels like a deprivation, it feels harder. And I think this is what, you know, we love to reframe and this is a way of reframing something. So you’re not telling yourself that you can never do it. You’re just saying that these two things don’t go together.
Gretchen
Right. And you might have a lot of reasons for what you’re unpacking, like take eating in the car. You might say, Well, I want to keep the car clean. And when we in the car it gets so grubby or you might think, well, when I in the car I make unhealthy choices, but when I’m not in the car, I make healthier choices.
Gretchen
Or when I’m in the car, I don’t appreciate my food because I’m distracted by driving or whatever. And if I want to appreciate my food more, I’m not going to do it. And so it’s like, okay, I have all my reasons, so I’m just going to keep these things apart. And I did this list you were talking about what you did.
Gretchen
I realized I had to use uncaring the last time I was on book tour because I have this funny thing where if I am in a hotel room by myself, I will watch remodeling shows or house hunting shows for hours, hours upon hours when I could be answering emails, I could be napping, I could be reading for fun, I could be going for a walk in a new city.
Gretchen
And somehow I just get caught. I get mesmerized. But the fact is, by unpairing it, I can do it. If I’m in a hotel room with Jamie, I can do it if I’m at home. But for some reason I never want to do it at those times. And so just by giving myself this very, very narrow of unpairing, I saved myself countless hours.
Elizabeth
And you’ve done that.
Gretchen
And I’ve done that like I haven’t on this book tour. I haven’t I haven’t even turned on the TV on this book tour. I haven’t turned it on once. And that’s just not to say that other people wouldn’t love it and relish it, and that might be a huge pleasure for them across the way. Just like you love to have snacks and a movie, it’s just a question of what is your aim and what’s for you, how you want to spend your time or what you want to be doing.
Gretchen
It’s just another strategy. It’s funny because with the strategies, some of them work really well for some people, but not so well for others. Like Strategy of Abstaining works really well for me, but it’s not a universal strategy. Moderators don’t like to use the strategy of abstaining, but the strategy of convenience and the strategy of inconvenience are two strategies that work really well for just about everyone.
Gretchen
But I realized you could almost conceive of them as just two sides of the same strategy. You make it inconvenient to do the things you don’t want to do. You make it convenient to do the things you do want to do. Same thing with pairing. You can pair things you want to do or you can unpair things you don’t want to do. Either
Gretchen
I should add unpairing to the 21 and 22, or arguably I can have 20 strategies. That ship has sailed. I just realized that about unpairing, but I think it’s a useful one.
Elizabeth
Oh yes. Super useful and an easy way to break a habit though you don’t want to do. Just like I feel like pairing is a great way to get into a good habit, unpairing is a great way to get out of a bad habit. So I think it’s fantastic.
Gretchen
Yeah. So I’ll be very curious to hear what other people unpair because I can get some really good ideas of simple unpairings that might make good habits easier. So let us know if you do try this at home and how the Strategy of Unpairing works for you. Let us know on Instagram, Tik-Tok. Twitter, Facebook. Drop us an email at podcast@gretchenrubin.com.
Gretchen
Or as always, you can go to the show notes. This is a happiercast.com/429 for everything related to this episode.
00:08:09:03 – 00:08:20:05
Elizabeth
Coming up we’ve got a walking happiness hack. But first this break. Okay, Gretch, it is time for this week’s Happiness Hack. This is something you have recently discovered.
[Music]
Gretchen
So I’ve been in a lot of airports for my book tour. And what I realized is that if you’re trying to get steps in which many of us are listed, I know you aim to get 10,000 every day and ever since we did walk 20 in 20, for 2020, I’ve been very focused on how to get more walking into my day.
Gretchen
And what I realized is that if you’re waiting at an airport that is a great way to just walk around. Now, if you’re with other people, it’s great because you can leave your stuff with them and then like walk up and down the length of the airport. But what I realized is that you can do it even when you’ve got all your stuff with you.
Gretchen
I figured out a hack for that.
Elizabeth
So what do you do?
Gretchen
Okay, because I have like my heavy carry on bag in my backpack that has, like, you know, a billion things crammed into it. So I just walk to an area gate area where no one’s waiting. Usually you don’t have to go very far before you find a little deserted corner where there’s nobody really sitting there or just a few people.
Gretchen
And I put my bags in the corner and then I just walk in a circuit where it’s, you know, it’s well within my eyesight. And I think anybody looking at it would see that it’s my bag. One time a guard did come up and was like, Is that your bag? And I was like, That is my bag. And then sometimes I’ll call mom and dad, you know, and just be walking or listen to a podcast. This morning
Gretchen
I didn’t even have that long. I did almost 3000 steps. One time. I had a long layover. I did almost 10,000 steps. And then it’s easier to sit in the airplane. I get so restless in an airplane that it feels good to get a little bit of walking done before I am sitting.
Elizabeth
So still. Gretch is such a good idea. I’m 100% going to start doing this. I can’t believe I never thought of it before because once you say it, it seems obvious. Yeah, but by the way, the other thing is I have a rolling bag that’s very easy to roll because it’s got the spinner wheels and then I, my other carry on has like a strap.
Elizabeth
I think we have also a trolley sleeve that goes. Yes. So it’s actually I could easily just roll my bag with me. Yeah. And walk. I wouldn’t even have to do what you’re saying of putting it down somewhere and staying within eyesight. Yeah. And I think more and more airports just have so much to look at. So.
Gretchen
Yes, I know it’s true!
Elizabeth
It’s interesting to take a walk to.
00:10:39:02 – 00:10:43:21
Gretchen
Yeah. No, there they’re like these stores in there. There’s big bookstores, there’s art.
Elizabeth
Kinds of.
Gretchen
Stuff. Yeah, I saw a really cool poster. I don’t even remember what airport it was. I know there are a lot of exhibits. Yeah, but it’s funny. It’s because one of these things about you just don’t think of it being in an airport as, like, an opportunity to walk. But once you realize, yeah, it’s like. It’s like people who do mall walks.
Elizabeth
I was going to say, Yeah, it’s like the mall walking.
Gretchen
And it’s a good way that feels like very down time. You and I like to get to an airport early. Yeah. So we will often have a lot of downtime and it feels good to feel like, okay, well I’m listening to your podcasts and doing, you know, 5000 steps. It doesn’t feel like lost time. You can reclaim it.
Elizabeth
This is definitely a hack for those of us who like to get to the airport early. Yeah, Yes.
Gretchen
Yes, yes. And it’s another way to make use of that time. And now for a know yourself better question. Okay, this is interesting because I was thinking about this paradox that comes up a lot, I think as you’re thinking about how to have a happier life, which is on the one hand we want to accept ourselves and on the other hand we want to expect more from ourselves.
Gretchen
And this is a tension that only we can know, only we can know, when are we accepting ourselves in a way that’s positive and realistic and embracing the truth about ourselves? And when is it time to push out of the comfort zone? Try things that are going to make you feel maybe a little bit insecure or defensive or anxious, but you really want to push yourself?
Gretchen
So one of the one of the things to ask yourself is will choose the bigger life, because that’s a helpful way to think. Okay, which would be the bigger life. But then I thought of another question to ask that can help resolve this tension.
00:12:31:12 – 00:12:32:05
Elizabeth
What is that?
Gretchen
Okay. You say to yourself, what are the stakes? Because if the stakes are high, then you might want to think that it’s more important to really consider pushing yourself if the stakes are low. And this is something where it would take a lot of work to push yourself, you maybe want to say, look, the stakes are low.
Gretchen
It would take a lot for me to push through this. Maybe I want to let this one go because even if I do expect more for myself, I’m maybe not going to gain that much and it might take a lot out of me. It might even drain me from other aims that are actually more important, could serve as a distraction or an impediment.
Gretchen
So one thing we want to think about is are we using our time and our energy in a way that is going to give us the biggest boost? And one way to think about that is to think about the stakes.
Elizabeth
So you had a good example of this.
Gretchen
I thought. So, okay. Well, as you very well know, I’m a fearful driver. You’re a fearful driver. Unlucky or unlucky, depending on how you look at it, because I live in New York City, so I almost never have to drive. You have to drive all the time. So you do drive all the time. But I really have to push myself to drive.
Gretchen
And every year I have to like, do whatever I can take opportunities to drive because I am a fearful driver. Okay. Another thing. You remember this, speaking of us going on sisterly adventures. There was a period where I had decided I wanted to learn to play the ukulele. This was even before life in Five Senses and my whole journey about music and myself as a music person.
Gretchen
And I talked about this when we did our live tour of the podcast, but so I also was a very reluctant ukulele player. I would say I really did not enjoy it. I felt, I felt insecure and in confident. Everybody else talked about how easy and fun it was. It wasn’t easy and fun for me. Should I push through it?
Gretchen
If I wanted to, I knew that I could make myself push through it, but then what were the stakes? And it’s like, Well, what are the stakes of driving and what are the stakes of playing the ukulele? Truth be told, I would rather work on playing the ukulele because I’m more fearful of driving, but driving is a far more useful thing.
Gretchen
So I decided, let the ukulele go, accept myself. That’s not something that comes to me naturally and that I want to spend my time and energy on driving. I really want to keep my hand in driving.
Elizabeth
Yeah, driving is important.
Gretchen
Driving is important. Life could change. I can be moving to a place where I would need to drive. And I’m a perfectly good driver. It’s all it’s not all this psych out, but the less I do it, the more fearful I get. It’s one of those things. Boredom and familiarity are the are the enemies of anxiety. But so I realized if I’m going to use up that fortitude towards an aim, I’m going to use it for driving.
Gretchen
Not just now. You could maybe you could do both. Maybe you would say, Oh, they’re not zero sum, but I just decided life’s too short. I’ll let the ukulele go with the driving. Nope, I’m going to expect out of myself.
Elizabeth
Yeah. I mean, I love this because I do think there is a finite amount of stuff we’re going to do. Yes. Yeah, I agree. This again, back to the flossing. Part of my problem is I’m doing many things to sort of maintain my health and so it’s hard to add something new in. Yes. And so just we have a certain amount of energy.
Elizabeth
So it’s like before you use that energy, make sure the stakes are worth it. Now, what I will say is stakes can be just enjoyment. Like if you’re like, well, I’m going to get a huge amount of enjoyment from learning to knit, even though it’s expecting more from myself. Well, then learn to knit, even though one might say that’s low stakes.
Elizabeth
Yes. So it’s again, it’s only you know, which is why it’s know yourself better, because only you know what counts as stakes.
Gretchen
Yes. Only you know what counts as stakes and only, you know, like how it fits into like the grand scheme of expecting more from yourself. And when that becomes a challenge, I could imagine someone being like, okay, well, I could learn to use Excel for a work promotion or I could learn Italian. And it’s like, well, Italian would be fun, but if you use Excel, maybe you could get a big promotion at work or you’d have more opportunities for a different kind of job.
Gretchen
And so you’re like, Well, if I only have like a certain amount of time and energy to dedicate to like learning a new skill, maybe I want to think about expecting more from myself in that arena. And as you say, like maybe now is not the season for the Italian, but you’ll learn that down the road. I mean, you’re not saying never, but I do think that sometimes because I know it’s hard to know.
Gretchen
Are you just complacent and not expecting from yourself what you could? Or one. Are you just like, Hey, I got to be neat? Yeah. And that’s some things are not others. And so I think this is a useful question just to consider as you’re trying to draw that line.
Elizabeth
Yes, absolutely. Gretch. Speaking of question, we have a listener question.
Gretchen
Yes. So this is a question from a listener who’s asking for answers from everyone. We’ll give our answers, but I think we’re going to have a lot of useful input from people who because I think this is a situation probably many people have encountered.
Elizabeth
Gretch, this comes from Janine. She says, I love the Four Tendencies framework. It’s brilliant. I am a rRebel. I have a question connected to this I’m hoping you can help me with. My father did not take the quiz and it’s not something he would do. But having known him my whole life and noting the ways we are similar, I am certain he is also a rebel.
Elizabeth
He is also suffering from late stage Parkinson’s right now, a former athlete and basketball coach, as well as an award winning teacher and constant on the go man. He’s now unable to walk well and struggles with his speech. It’s very sad to see him this way. He has a loving girlfriend and they live together now in an assisted living apartment.
Elizabeth
My brothers and I helped to get them into. None of us lives very close to him. We’re all a plane ride or two away, so we’re especially grateful to his girlfriend and the great staff at his new home. It’s good for him to be there and is what he needs. However, he’s a rebel. He has a necklace he should wear at all times to call for help from the staff.
Elizabeth
The other day he got up at 3:30 in the morning and ended up on the floor for 2 hours because he fell and was not wearing his necklace and he didn’t want to wake up his girlfriend when she tells him to sit in his wheelchair and then leaves the room, she comes back to find him on the floor because he has tried to move to a different chair.
Elizabeth
It’s classic, classic rebel behavior. And I know. Tell me what to do and I’ll do the exact opposite. I know one way to motivate rebels is to appeal to their identity. Outlining consequences may work with him too, and we are trying that, but I’m struggling with how to help him with his identity. Among the ways he thinks about himself are self-sufficient, highly capable, always moving, never needs help above the rules, innovative up for a challenge.
Elizabeth
So when someone tells him to wear a necklace to ask for help, he thinks he doesn’t need it. When he’s instructed to sit in his wheelchair, he thinks he knows a better way. And he said exactly this yesterday when I asked him, Why don’t you sit in your wheelchair, Dad? I want to help him come up with new identities for example, I imagine he thinks he should try walking on his own because he’s a man who can take on a challenge and succeed.
Elizabeth
I wonder if there’s a way to reframe this, such as I know it’s always been hard for you to sit still. That’s the challenge. Now, can you challenge yourself to sit still for 20 minutes? I haven’t really figured out the way I’d word it yet, but I’m thinking there must be some tried and true ways to help rebels to come up with new ways to identify themselves.
Elizabeth
I am thinking about it a lot and the four tendencies are helping. Do you have any experience with this or know of people who do? I wonder what you would suggest. Excellent question, Gretchen.
Gretchen
Excellent question. And I think it’s good that this is a rebel daughter with a rebel father. So she gets. Yeah, See, she’s not wishing that he were different. She’s given what it is. How do we frame the situation in a way that is going to be effective for him? And I think it is about the identity. So it’s interesting, like, let’s think about the core rebel values are freedom, choice, control, doing things their own way, trying to frame it with those values.
Elizabeth
Yeah, well, one thing I think, Gretchen, is the longer it goes on, probably the more he’ll take on a new identity and then start finding ways to define that himself.
Gretchen
Mm. Yes.
Elizabeth
You know what I mean? So I think time may help this. Yeah. And it’s sort of him deciding to do it right. Yeah. I mean the thing about the rebels, it may be if she just doesn’t ever mention the wheelchair again, he’ll just start using it because nobody’s bothering him to use it. He’ll decide the interest. This is a good way to to for me to get around.
Gretchen
Well, that’s a good point. You have to remember that if you nudge or encourage, you may ignite the spirit of resistance. And you might point out, Oh, wow, like when you can really handle a wheelchair, like you can get around anywhere, try to tie it to that sometimes with a rebel too, not always, but sometimes it works. If you’re reminded that somebody is basically doing what you want.
Gretchen
I remember a rebel saying to me that they were trying to refinance their mortgage and so the person they were working with kept requesting documents and the rebel resistance was like, Well, you’re asking me to send you these documents. I don’t want to do it. And I said to the rebel, Well, then how did you get yourself to do it?
Gretchen
And she said, Well, I just remembered this guy’s working for me. This is what I want. And so maybe it’s sort of like, Well, the necklace is something that works for me. I don’t want to be on the ground for 2 hours. So this is something that works for me. This is something that I choose because this helps me. Again, that’s reframing.
Elizabeth
I also wonder if the daughter talked to the girlfriend and the girlfriend was okay with this. I can see the daughter saying something like, Dad, she doesn’t want to ask you because she because she doesn’t want to try to control you. But your girlfriend would really appreciate it if you wore the necklace because she worries about you and it would be such a load off her mind.
Elizabeth
So you’re doing it out of love for someone you love, not because you need to necessarily, but because someone you love, their mind will be eased.
Gretchen
Yes, and this is the point that sometimes a rebel will choose to do something out of love, not because they’re asked to, not because they’re told to, not because they’re supposed to. They choose to do it out of love. That’s an excellent point.
Elizabeth
But I do think you need the daughter to ask for the girlfriend or vice versa, because the person who’s asking will get the resistance right?
Gretchen
Not always, but it’s a possibility and it just might be easier. This is a tricky situation. I imagine that versions of this are often come up and again, I think it’s great that the daughter is a rebel because she gets that. I think the rebels is the most misunderstood tendency because it’s the most different from the other three.
Gretchen
So listeners, send in your suggestions and your observations. Whether you’re a rebel or you’re dealing with a rebel would be great. Yeah. And if you have no idea what we’re talking about, upholders, questioners, obligers, rebels, take the quiz at gretchenrubin.com/quiz and you will find out your tendency and you’ll get a report that tells you all about the tendencies.
Gretchen
This is a super important question, so I’m very eager to hear what listeners have to say.
Elizabeth
Okay. Coming up, Gretchen has a demerit that comes out of her book tour. But first, this break. Okay, Gretch, it is time for demerits and gold stars. And this week you’re up with a happiness demerit.
[Music]
Gretchen
Elizabeth I’m giving myself this demerit because sometimes when we give ourselves demerits, it helps us avoid that behavior in the future. It somehow cements the idea in our mind that we want to avoid it. So in the spirit of trying to do better in the future, one thing I have learned over the years is that when I go on a book tour, I get great ideas.
Gretchen
I’m out there talking about a subject, whether it’s happiness or habits or the five senses. And along the way, you know, I’m talking to so many people about my subject. I will get great examples of people putting ideas into play or people will mention books, movies, podcasts, all kinds of resources that I want to remember to look up.
Gretchen
Or they’ll ask questions that I’m like, Oh my gosh, that’s such a thought provoking question. I want to think that through. And so I know that what I should do is I should keep a notepad with me, either right with me, or sometimes when I’m speaking, there’s really no place to keep a notepad or any way to write it down, keep it right in the green room, or write where I’m going to go afterwards.
Gretchen
Because usually I can remember right after a talk I will think, Ooh, I want to remember that I can write it down. But if even half an hour goes by, I just forget that there was something. Or sometimes I’m like, What was it? Somebody told me some really funny example, but in, in, you know, the frustration of like having something right outside your memory, it’s so frustrating.
Gretchen
So I know I should just keep that notepad right at hand. And I’ve done that. I would say half the time on this book tour. Sometimes of remembered, sometimes I’ve utterly forgotten. But it’s really valuable. So with this demerit, I’m going to recommit myself to keeping the notepad and the pen at the ready.
Elizabeth
And I would say, Gretch, if for whatever reason you don’t have it and this comes up, you can say, I don’t have my notepad. Would you mind emailing me that? Oh, yeah, if you’re in a pinch.
Gretchen
Well, that’s true too. Even if I didn’t have a notepad, I could email myself that.
Elizabeth
Well, right.
Gretchen
Because I always have my phone. So maybe the thing maybe the thing to do is the minute I finish an event, to just stand there and say, Do I need to take a note on my phone or in writing? For some reason it feels easier in writing. But yeah, but you’re right. I can recruit somebody else to help me if I am without what I need.
Gretchen
But Elizabeth, what is your gold star?
Elizabeth
All right, Gretch, well speaking of your book tour, my Gold Star is to you for all of your amazing outfits on your book tour. I thought the most important gold star in the world. But I have been just enjoying your social media posts. I feel like you’re really just hitting it out of the park with these outfits we talked about.
Elizabeth
On More Happier how you are wearing nicer outfits and with the book, too, or you’re really putting together these beautiful outfits.
Gretchen
Well, it’s funny because theme of Life in Five Senses is color. And of course, I have my whole color pilgrimage thing that I was so preoccupied with colors for so long. So this year I’m like, I really want to have color. So I have an outfit that I’ll catch up red and I have my green dress and my chartreuse sweater and I have purple.
Gretchen
Yes. So thank you. I will take that gold star. I do really love all the the outfits that I packed. And I actually, like, made myself like a little chart with all of them so that I can rotate, you know, and wear them all.
Elizabeth
Equally.
Gretchen
And not back to back. And it’s a whole thing.
Elizabeth
So take here’s an insight. Here’s an insight I had because I went to one of your book events the other night.
Gretchen
Yeah.
Elizabeth
As an audience member, it’s really more fun to look at someone in a great outfit.
Gretchen
Oh, yeah.
Elizabeth
You know what I mean? It really makes a difference. So I think your audience will appreciate your outfits.
Gretchen
I have a pair of gold shoes that people seem to get a big kick out. Not everybody can see them, but the. Yes, Yes. I don’t think I strike. If you know me, you would be surprised that I have a pair of gold shoes. I am surprised that I have a pair of shoes, but I like the gold shoes.
Elizabeth
They look great.
Gretchen
Well, thank you very much for that gold star. Appreciate that. The resources for this week. I want to remind everybody that I have the my weekly free newsletter called Five Things Making Me Happy, where I just talk about five things making me happy. It’s a quick, very fun newsletter. I spend a lot of time on it and get a big kick out of it, so sign up for that if you want it.
Gretchen
gretchenrubin.com/newsletters. And Elizabeth, what are we reading? What are you reading?
Elizabeth
I am reading Unscripted by James B Stewart and Rachel Abrams.
Gretchen
And I am reading The Great Fire by Shirley Hazzard. And that’s it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Try the strategy of UNpairing. Let us know if you tried it and if it were for you.
Elizabeth
Thank you to our executive producer Chuck Reed and everyone at Cadence 13 and get in touch. Gretchen’s on Instagram and Tik Tok at @gretchenrubin, and I’m on Instagram @lizcraft. Our email address is podcast@gretchenrubin.com and
Gretchen
Here it comes. You know what I’m going to say? If you like this show, please be sure to tell a friend we’re right in review the show. This is really how new people discover our podcast.
Elizabeth
Until next week. I’m Elizabeth Craft.
Gretchen
And I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward.
[Music]
Elizabeth
So, Gretch, what are you wearing to your event tonight?
Gretchen
Tonight, I am wearing a green top with a black skirt that has pink flowers on it and black boots.
Elizabeth
Wow. Okay send me a picture, and.
Gretchen
It’s one of Eliza and Eleanor’s favorite out of the array.
[Music]
Gretchen
From the Onward Project.