Update
If you’re an Apple Podcasts listener, we want to call out the new “Transcripts” feature available in the latest update.
Make sure your phone is updated. Then, to access the feature, start playing a specific episode, and tap the icon that looks like a quotation mark in a speech box at the bottom left-hand corner of the player.
From there, you can follow every word of the episode in real time. You can also search the transcript for a specific word, to start listening or reading there.
Try This at Home
Schedule a “loose-ends day.”
Happiness Hack
We share an ingenious idea about how to celebrate a milestone birthday.
If you want to read the article, it’s here.
Interview
We interview Aliza Pressman, author of the New York Times bestselling book The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans (Amazon, Bookshop), and host of the hit podcast, Raising Good Humans.
We talk about the five principles of parenting, common parenting misconceptions, what to do if you feel like “you’re only as happy as your least-happy child,” and more.
Here’s the quotation I mention, from Bob Dylan’s brilliant Chronicles, Volume One (Amazon, Bookshop) :
I looked at the menu, then I looked at my wife. The one thing about her that I always loved was that she was never one of those people who thinks that someone else is the answer to their happiness. Me or anybody else. She’s always had her own built-in happiness.
Aliza’s Try This At Home: Repeatedly ask someone, “What makes you happy?”
Demerits & Gold Stars
Gretchen’s Demerit: I was doing really well with my “review,” then I stopped.
Elizabeth’s Gold Star: She gives a gold star to the excellent documentary The Greatest Night in Pop on Netflix.
Resource
On the subject of parenting…
So many parents have told me how they use the One-Sentence Journal or the Memento Keepsake Journal to track milestones in their children’s lives. Get yours at the-happiness-project.com and while you’re there, check out the streamlined new design.
What We’re Reading
*This transcript is unedited*
[473]
[music]
Gretchen
Hello and welcome to a happier a podcast where we talk about strategies and suggestions for living, happier, healthier, more productive and more creative lives.
Gretchen
This week we’ll talk about why it can be helpful to schedule a loose ends day, and we’ll do an interview with Aliza Pressman about being a happier, more effective parent.
Gretchen
I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits. The five senses, Human Nature. I’m in my little home office here in New York City. And joining me today from parts unknown is my sister, Elizabeth Craft.
Elizabeth
That’s me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer who lives in L.A. But today I am in Seattle, one of my favorite cities. I love Seattle here with my writing partner and co-host of Happier in Hollywood, Sarah Fain.
Gretchen
I cannot wait to hear about all your adventures. But first, a few updates.
Elizabeth
Yes, this comes from Jane. She says, I’m listening to the story about kids sometimes enjoying doing childhood things you think they might have outgrown. My daughter is eight and 11 years younger than her brothers, and I made the decision that for as long as she was up and around, we would only watch TV programs and movies suitable for her.
Elizabeth
After she went to bed, they could consume more mature media. I thought the boys might protest now and again about watching Disney and Pixar movies literally until they were 18 and leaving home. But they never did. I think they enjoyed having an excuse to stay longer in their childhoods. If we went to the theater to see a kids movie, they always chose to come to kids grow up so fast.
Elizabeth
There is something very sweet about watching older children return to being kids again.
Gretchen
This is really sweet. I found that very moving.
Elizabeth
Yes, I love these boys watching with their little sister.
Gretchen
Watching Shrek for the last time, as we all do. I will post a link to the episode of More Happy Hour, where we talked about older children enjoying going back and to younger childhood. Yes, younger children. And we also wanted to call out something that is happening as an update. If you are listening on Apple Podcasts, they have a new transcripts feature that is available.
Gretchen
If you’ve updated to the latest version, which is the 17.4 version. Okay. So this gives you a transcript. This is very cool. And the way that you get to it is you start playing a specific episode. So hit a specific episode and at the bottom left hand corner of the player, you will see something that looks like a quotation mark inside a speech box.
Gretchen
You know, like with the little if somebody quoted something, there’s that little box. It’s got a quotation mark in it, and if you tap on that, it will give you a transcript. As we’re talking, you will see us talking. You will see the words appear there. And this is what is even more amazing. And Elizabeth, I think this is what our listeners are going to really find useful.
Gretchen
You can search.
Elizabeth
So useful.
Gretchen
By word, by whatever. So let’s say you listen to last episode. Episode 472 and you’re like, right. Gretchen and Elizabeth were talking about that and Patchett say, I want to go look it up. But what was the name of the essay? You could just, if you look at the bottom of the screen, you’ll see it’s a search.
Gretchen
If you’re looking at where the transcript has hit on search, typing, the word essay or Ann Patchett or whatever, and it will take you right there. So if there’s something that you’re like and I find this, one of the things that frustrates me about podcasts is that you can’t search for something you want to look up. So this is a really, really great feature.
Gretchen
So like everything, you kind of have to play with it a few times. So once you get the hang of it, it’s really, really exciting. So check it out.
Elizabeth
Yes, that is exciting. We hear from people all the time who said, I have been scouring and I can’t find the best thing. So. Yes. Yes. That. Amazing.
Gretchen
Exactly. So this week, are try this at home suggestion is to schedule a loose ends day.
Elizabeth
Yes. So what do you mean by that, Gretch? Okay.
Gretchen
I recently had to do this for myself, and it was such a relief. Okay, so on a loose ends day, you don’t work on any ongoing major projects. You just tie up loose ends. So you’re tackling your backlog of emails. You’re going through the papers that have been piled up on the desk, because I just realized that these kinds of things were stacking up and they were making me feel disproportionately weighed down.
Gretchen
It’s sort of like the one minute rule. It’s things that weren’t that difficult to solve, but because they took time or a little bit of like fussing, they weren’t getting done. And because they were just building, building, building, building, building, I was feeling very uneasy about just sort of having this cloud hanging over me.
Elizabeth
I so need to loose and say, Gretchen, I mean, I my list just I can think of it off the top of my head like Adam and I need to go sign our will.
Gretchen
Yes.
Elizabeth
Ready? We need to go to the lawyer’s office. That’s the perfect kind of thing I need to do, Jax. Like all forms for his class trip. Yeah, I have all these things like that. Sarah and I need to figure out our newsletter, which we want to start, but it doesn’t fit in with other projects, so it just hangs out there.
Elizabeth
Yeah. So I could easily fill all loose ends day and then feel like so many things nagging at me. Yeah, we’re off my mind.
Gretchen
Well, and I can imagine that for some people too, they might even have like, loose ends that that was all professional or all personal because it could be that you’re just so overwhelmed by everything. Like, once you sort of turn your attention to it, that itself becomes overwhelming. So maybe you say, okay, just in this area of my life, or maybe it’s even an afternoon, You’re like, I’m just going to tackle the loose ends and free myself from that.
Elizabeth
Yes. Well, and gradually people talk about why it’s important not to let the urgent displace the important. I mean, Sarah and I talk about that all the time. Yeah, but sometimes you really just need to tackle the urgent. Yeah, right. Because it can get stressful to have these things not done right.
Gretchen
Well, so it’s interesting because you and Sarah and me have the same thing, which is you have these very large ongoing projects that are very easy to ignore day to day. And so you really have to make an effort to keep up the pace and to focus on them and not let them fall to the wayside because they’re extremely important.
Gretchen
But sometimes what I at least what I was realizing that I was doing is that I was making time for the important. But then those urgent things were building up, and the urgent things often have kind of special penalties because it’s like you’re a bottleneck to other people, so other work can’t get done or the costs go up because you haven’t bought your plane ticket, or have you ever had the thing where like you didn’t look at an invitation properly and by the time you got to it and realized you wanted to do it, the day was already gone.
Gretchen
Yes. So urgent is important too. And that’s what’s hard. Is that there’s this balance. And I think this is why it’s draining. We always have to be making those decisions between what’s urgent, what’s important, and how do I balance those two?
Elizabeth
Yeah, well, remember, Gretchen, when we talked to Bradley Tusk, he was saying, do everything right away. That’s what he does. Yes. Which keeps you from needing a loose ends day. Yeah, He sort of just continually does this.
Gretchen
And I don’t think his approach would work for everyone concerned seemed pretty extreme.
Elizabeth
He said he’s always answering emails during other conversation with other people. Yes, but it just goes to show everyone has their own way of doing things well.
Gretchen
And it also shows that you can get away with a lot more than you think if you choose to do so. Yeah, right. But so we all have to find that balance. And I think it’s one of those things where it is a struggle to find that balance. But maybe it’s like for me, it’s good to say, okay, well now I’m going to officially set aside for this, and then I feel like, okay, this is what I’m supposed to be doing.
Gretchen
It gets me out of that balancing because I’m like, Now I’m not balancing now. I’m setting aside this afternoon or this entire day, which I did to do it. And what I also found and this might be something that a lot of people do, which is I will often use paperwork or notes that I’ve taken or something as visual reminders of something that I need to get done, or it’s some piece of information that I want to keep salient.
Gretchen
And so when I did after I did my loose ends day, then my desk area just automatically got much cleaner because I just went through all those things and so I could file something or toss something or recycle something because I didn’t need it out anymore. Because I do use that as a useful tool to like, leave things out.
Gretchen
Then the part of me that wants to clear clutter gets very annoyed by that. And so I feel both visually relieved as well as mentally relieved.
Elizabeth
Yes, I love when I can toss a Post-it note.
Gretchen
Yes, You love Post-it notes.
Elizabeth
Yes, I I’m everywhere. And I love when I’ve actually done the thing on the note and I can toss it now.
Gretchen
I remember the last time I cleared clutter in your office. You always had, like, a little spark of glee when you’re like, that one’s out of date. I got rid of that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let us know if you do try this at home and how scheduling a loose ends day works for you. Let us know on Instagram.
Gretchen
Ticktock, Facebook threads drop us an email at podcast of Gretchen Rubin dot com or always you can go to the show notes this is happier cast dot com slash 4734. Everything related to this episode coming.
Elizabeth
Up we’ve got a hack about how you might celebrate a milestone birthday. But first this break.
[music]
Gretchen
Okay Elizabeth it’s time for a happiness hack. And one thing that we talk about a lot is how to make meaningful memories, how to make time stand out, how to make it vivid and memorable. And we also talk about celebrating milestones, the importance of adventure, throwing a little whimsy in there, the importance of connection. And you came across a really elegant solution to all of those aims.
Elizabeth
Yes, I read a piece and have posed with a great idea for Meghan. Varied and I’m just going to read the email that she wrote. She said On January four, 2023, I composed the following email Dear person, I love having just rolled past 69. I am thinking about the large number looming on the horizon. To honor that large number, I want to log in 70 experiences in 2023 with people I love.
Elizabeth
My goal is to say yes to whatever you might propose, no matter how big or small. Anything from a cup of coffee to a trip to a national park, from a walk in the woods to a Broadway show, from a manicure to a dance party. But please, no thrill seeking, no roller coasters or bungee jumping and nothing that involves a shark tank.
Elizabeth
I look forward to saying yes to your proposal to a calendar full of one of a kind events and to fully enjoying memorable moments with you with love Meghan. And then she talks about all the things she did, I cluding, you know, going to Europe and going camping and all of these different things she did with people she loves and all the memories she made as she turned 70.
Gretchen
And then she wrote because so many people who heard about it said that they wanted to do it, too. She says, Should you decide to do the same? The process is a breeze. One count the number of years you’ve been on the planet to compose an email setting, an intention that expands your comfort zone, even if only a wee bit, and three send it to your people.
Gretchen
I trust that they will respond. Well, you know, I thought it was really good that she set a limit saying like, I want an adventure, but I don’t want a shark tank kind of adventure because it’s like you don’t want to be put in the situation where you want to accept yourself and expect more from yourself. And so she’s saying, I’m this kind of adventure seeker, but I’m not that kind of adventure seeker, you know?
Gretchen
Fair enough.
Elizabeth
Yeah. And I could see this would be a fun thing to do, like turning 30. I think a lot of people want to mark that turning 40. I mean, any milestone birthday where you want to really make some memories, this is a great approach.
Gretchen
Yeah, so fun. What a great hack.
Elizabeth
And now for a happier interview.
Gretchen
Yes, we are going to be talking to Aliza Pressman. Aliza Pressman is a developmental psychologist with nearly 20 years of experience working with families and the health care providers who care for them. She’s an assistant clinical professor at the Division of Behavioral Health Department of Pediatrics at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital, where she is co-founding director of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center.
Gretchen
Her new book, The Five Principles of Parenting Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, was an instant New York Times best seller, and I love her approach because her argument is there is no one right way to raise good humans. And I’m a big believer in the idea that there are many ways, many right ways to do things.
Elizabeth
Aliza is also the host of the hit podcast Raising Good Humans, where she talks to experts and parents about the most effective approaches and tools for raising good humans relevant to that. Aliza is the mother of two kids herself. Welcome, Aliza.
Aliza Pressman
Hello. Hello. Thanks for having me.
Gretchen
We’re so happy to be talking to you today and can’t wait to dive in.
Elizabeth
Yes. Okay. Now, Lisa, this question may be too on the nose, but can you just tell us, what are the five principles of parenting?
Aliza Pressman
I like simplicity. So I’m glad you asked.
Elizabeth
good.
Aliza Pressman
Relationship reflection. Regulation rules and repair.
Gretchen
Let’s say you like simplicity and you like alliteration. Clearly.
Aliza Pressman
And I like that. Well, I was just thinking. We’re so. Maybe I’m sharing too much about where my brain is right now, but I just think that we have so much to remember. So I took the research. It’s not my it’s not like I was like, these are the things that are most important. I drew exclusively from the literature, but I wanted to make it easy to remember, right?
Aliza Pressman
So I can’t remember anything anymore.
Gretchen
So of the five. Just do a quick overview about what each word sort of is reminding us to work toward.
Aliza Pressman
So relationship could be I mean, we hear about relationships all the time as we think of it as connection, attunement, presence in, I would say in the science of child development. We might think of attachment relationships, attachment theory, secure attachment, but all of it evokes a sense of connectedness. And then reflection, I guess reflection is more presence, actually.
Aliza Pressman
So it’s funny, because in order to be present, we need to reflect on our experience being parenting and what’s happening for us and what might be happening for our child. And it gives us space to pass.
Gretchen
Yeah. Yeah. And regulation. That sounds important.
Aliza Pressman
Yeah, regulation. So both self-regulation and co regulation, I thought.
Gretchen
Aliza Pressman
Conveniently is an R word. And regulation is I mean, it’s one of those things. It’s so highly linked with all of the measures of success in quotes that we might think of, and it’s more predictive of even academic success than IQ. So regulation is important whether you’re into woo woo or whether and, you know, emotion regulation or cognitive attentional regulation, it’s all controlling.
Aliza Pressman
It’s kind of, you know, the executive function system of our brain is like the air traffic control system. That was something that Harvard Center for the Developing Child kind of came up with. And it’s not so sexy sounding, but the idea that your self-regulation is kind of housed in your prefrontal cortex and it doesn’t fully develop until you’re an adult takes between 18 and 28 years.
Aliza Pressman
And I feel like every year neuroscience finds out that it’s later and later.
Elizabeth
I think I’m still developing.
Aliza Pressman
Right. And then it then there’s a decline. So it’s sort of like we get a little look at a few peak years and then that’s that. But so regulation is this capacity to kind of make an intentional decision, a goal oriented decision about where you put your attention and in order to develop self-regulation, you need co regulation. You kind of borrow your parents or caregivers a nervous system until yours is fully developed.
Elizabeth
Interesting.
Aliza Pressman
And I think all of us on a deep level, self-regulation and regulation keeps us from operating in the world on autopilot and and doing things we really, really regret. But it also is the little stuff every day, like not blowing up at the Starbucks for Easter because we got the water wrong and right. I should say that all five of these are meant and this is just true about the science.
Aliza Pressman
And also people they’re meant to be more often than not, not all the time. Obviously, we can’t.
Gretchen
Right.
Aliza Pressman
Do all this all the time. That’s that wouldn’t even be appealing. Who wants that around somebody who’s just always perfect and then rules our boundary? I think of rules as boundaries and limits. So your personal and interpersonal boundaries and then the behavioral limits that you set to help our, you know, anybody that is around us that we’re guiding or in general relationships move through the world in a way that acknowledges you’re not the only person.
Aliza Pressman
And then repair for when you blow it.
Elizabeth
Probably. Yeah. Very important. Yeah.
Aliza Pressman
And that said, I feel like if we can do that more often than not, that’s kind of what the science says. Really, really actually matters for our kids in this like zoom out perspective. And even when it comes to the little things like how do I navigate this specific challenge? I am so boring. So I’m always going back to the same answer.
Aliza Pressman
Like I’m like, there does it. It’s not as complicated as we make it out to be. There’s no you don’t need a course on each different moment In our parenting. It feels like we do, but it always boils down to the same stuff. It just like translating it in a way that makes sense for a particular circumstance or your particular family.
Elizabeth
Well, what do you think is the most common misconception that people have about being a parent?
Aliza Pressman
Probably that there’s like a right recipe and a right way.
Elizabeth
Yes.
Gretchen
I say the same thing about happiness, Like people want a right way. But yeah, it’s there is no one right way.
Aliza Pressman
I mean, how boring would the world be? Yeah. Yes. My entire goal for this book, and also just generally in my work, is providing relief along with support. But like, if it’s not relieving, it’s. It’s a me problem. Like, I’m not doing my job right.
Gretchen
As somebody who talks to people a lot about happiness, something that people often say to me is that, you know, they repeat that old adage, You’re only as happy as your least happy child, which I get it. You know, I have two daughters myself, but it’s also the case that we don’t want to make our own happiness dependent on someone else because they’re outside our control.
Gretchen
So what is your response when somebody says that to you?
Aliza Pressman
It’s it is so interesting that you just said that because I someone just did say that to me because they were upset that their child was having a tough week at school. And I debated I didn’t say anything in the moment because I just thought that wouldn’t be who wants to hear my commentary right then? But I, I flagged it in my head, like, I have to go back to that because not only would that not serve us if we’re really trying to think about happiness, and I don’t mean the like big, big stuff.
Aliza Pressman
I have two daughters as well, so I’m not talking about like if there was some, God forbid, some terrible thing. I understand that statement. But for the general day to day or even the the stuff that feels big ish, I can’t our happiness can’t rest on that. It’s so much pressure for our kids. Like, what kind of a burden is that?
Aliza Pressman
I remember the times when I was going through something, and I share that with my mom, whom I love, and I totally know that she was just feeling my feels. But I was a little bit like, Can I have my divorce without it being sad for you so I can, you know, like, do I need to take care of your feelings in this moment?
Aliza Pressman
I mean, I’m a grown woman, so it’s different. But as a child, you want to feel like your happiness is not going to make or break your parents experience that day.
Gretchen
So that’s interesting. So you’re saying if you’re struggling with that feeling, one of the things to think about is how that feeling is putting a burden on your child, which is that then they become the custodian of your happiness and they’ll pick up on that.
Elizabeth
And that’s not a fair burden.
Aliza Pressman
Yeah, it’s not It’s.
Gretchen
Not only are they feeling lousy that they didn’t make the team, now they’re like, my mom is so upset on my behalf.
Aliza Pressman
Yes. She had so much riding on that. Right. And and so I don’t mean to and I you know, I am hesitant to because I don’t want anyone to think like, my God, I do that all the time. I thought it was empathetic. I thought, you know, I, I think, of course we’re going to do that. Sometimes it’s totally inevitable.
Aliza Pressman
But if we could just pay attention to. Wait a second, not only does it not, it doesn’t work because we can’t control other people’s happiness, but it also might place a burden on them that they’re meant to have a particular feeling at all times, or we will be hurting.
Gretchen
In his memoir, Bob Dylan write something about his wife at the time where he said, like, the one thing he admired about her was that she had her own built in happiness, that she wasn’t dependent on him or anyone else for her happiness. And I always like that phrase that she had built in happiness, meaning like she was the custodian of it herself.
Gretchen
I love that. Yeah. So I’ll look up the quotation, I’ll put it in the show notes and get the wording. Exactly. Bob Dylan, brilliant for us. Yes.
Elizabeth
Well, Aliza, we love to ask our guests if they have a try this at home. Tip for our listeners some little thing that can make life happier or more productive, more creative. Do you have a tip for listeners?
Aliza Pressman
So I have a practice for listeners, and I think it’s very on the nose and we can do it together or sometime today maybe try it. But it’s you ask a question, it’s it’s great to do with someone else, with your child, with your partner, with a friend, but you can also do it in your own mind. You ask yourself the same question and the only rule is that the answers have to keep changing.
Aliza Pressman
And the question is what makes you happy?
Elizabeth
So you ask for over and over and over.
Gretchen
I love what you do it every day. Or it’s like you keep asking it over and over and over.
Aliza Pressman
Can we try it? And I’ll just ask one of you. And you can tell me. Okay. What makes you happy?
Gretchen
Libraries.
Aliza Pressman
What makes you happy?
Elizabeth
Being on an adventure with my writing partner.
Gretchen
What makes you happy?
Aliza Pressman
you’re asking me?
Gretchen
Yeah.
Aliza Pressman
Coffee?
Gretchen
yeah. You got us with that. We’ll all get. We’ll all chime in on that one, will you mean. So we keep doing it as around and.
Aliza Pressman
You keep doing it. So let’s say you’re in the car and you’re with a teenager and they’re inevitably will roll their eyes. But so you would ten or 20 times, you know, you do it for a couple of minutes, you keep asking the same question. And then with a partner, it’s easier with a friend, with a sister, with a kid, they might not be as interested and then reciprocating and asking you the question if if you can get them to.
Aliza Pressman
It’s really cool because you kind of hunt for the happy, right?
Gretchen
It’s like happiness on repeat. I love it.
Elizabeth
Yeah. And it makes you notice all the little things.
Aliza Pressman
Exactly.
Gretchen
Yeah. Because you have to start thinking about. Yeah.
Aliza Pressman
You really do.
Elizabeth
Yes. Yeah.
Gretchen
Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Aliza. This was really fascinating to talk to you. Thanks so much for joining us today.
Elizabeth
Thanks, Aliza.
Aliza Pressman
Thank you so much, both of you.
Elizabeth
All right. Coming up, Gretchen has something of a repeat demerit. But first, this break
[music]
Elizabeth
Okay, great. It is time for this week’s demerits and gold stars. You’re up with a happiness demerit.
Gretchen
Okay. So there’s a back story here. So as you know, for a couple of years, I had a repeat item on my 24 for 24 list, which was to do review and review for me is like I have all these books, many of which are kind of research related. And I wanted to go through and really look at the books because some of them I knew that in the end probably did not interest me or that I just needed to skim or that I wanted to read deeply.
Gretchen
And I thought, okay, I want to organize these and get a sense of what’s there because it’s getting sort of overwhelming. And I had been doing this sort of sort of year after year, but I was doing really well. And finally I got started. And like as so often happens, once I got started and started clearing out and realizing, I really want to read this or I don’t want to read this at all, It started gaining steam.
Gretchen
And so instead of just doing it on the weekends, I was really doing it. It was making great headway. And then did I got distracted or maybe I got rid of the low hanging fruit. Said the decision making got more difficult and I just stopped and I sort of, you know how it is where you stop and you don’t notice that you’ve stopped.
Gretchen
So I finally was reviewing my list. I was like, wait, what happened? A review I was doing so well, so I want to reengage because that was I was really feeling that that was a productive use of my time and energy. And so I really want to get back into it. Not sure why I stopped, but I want to make sure that I get started again right away.
Elizabeth
All right. Well, now that you’ve said it, you’ll do it.
Gretchen
Absolutely. And how about your gold star? Take us up.
Elizabeth
All right. Gosh, I want to give a gold star to a documentary. Chuck, our executive producer, told me to watch it, and I did. And I absolutely loved it. It’s called The Greatest Night in Pop on Netflix. It’s about the night that they recorded We Are the World. I think it was 1985 or 1986. Quincy Jones and every single big American pop star you can think of, everyone from Cyndi Lauper and Bob Dylan to Michael Jackson and Bruce Springsteen and on and on.
Elizabeth
Lionel Richie.
Gretchen
Anyone who was anyone at that.
Elizabeth
Time. Yes. And it is if you are feeling down at all, watch this documentary and you will smile, you will feel good about the world. You just it’s a must watch.
Gretchen
I cannot wait to see it. I know Chuck told us about it. So is it is it a two hour documentary or like a four part documentary?
Elizabeth
No, it’s one. It’s like a 2 hours or whatever. Documentary? Yeah, it’s a one time thing. And I mean, I could have watched the whole night. I would have liked to just seen the whole night of it, But it really was spectacular.
Gretchen
Well, and it’s a creative process, Right. Which is one of our favorite subjects.
Elizabeth
Yes. And you I learned a lot watching Quincy Jones. that’s a whole. We’re going to have to talk about it. I’m more happier. You watch it because there’s a lot to learn. Well, he’s a genius, of course, but. Okay. A lot to learn.
Gretchen
So watch it. I cannot wait. The resource for this week, we’ve been talking about parenting in this episode and so many parents have told me that in terms of like making memories and being a storehouse of happy memories, they are using the one sentence journal or the Memento keepsake journal to track milestones in their children’s lives or their family’s lives.
Gretchen
Both of these are a great way to hold onto memories. You know, sometimes the things that go wrong make the best memories you can use for that too. And if you want to check it out, you can go to the Dash Happiness Dash project dot com. I’ve got a whole new design on that shop page so you can check it out.
Gretchen
I worked with this brilliant team to, you know, make it more visually appealing and easy to navigate. So there’s a lot to see there. And as always, I’ll put a link in the show notes. And yeah, if you searched for shop in the transcript, it will take you right to shop and right to the link. So there you go.
Gretchen
Elizabeth, what are we reading? What are you.
Elizabeth
Reading? I am reading Skid Road, an informal portrait of Seattle by Murray Morgan.
Gretchen
And I am just about to start The Consolations of the Forest by Sylvan Cézanne. And that’s it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Schedule a loose ends day. Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.
Elizabeth
Thanks to our guest, Aliza Pressman. You can read her book, The Five Principles of Parenting, and listen to her podcast, Raising Good Humans. Thank you to our executive producer Chuck Reed, and everyone at Cadence 13 Get in Touch Questions on Instagram threads, Facebook and TikTok at Gretchen Rubin and I’m on Instagram and threads at Liz Craft. Our email address is podcast at Gretchen Rubin dot com.
Gretchen
And if you like this show, please leave us a five star rating. It really, really helps other people to discover the show because when they look it up, they see that people enjoy it.
Elizabeth
Until next week, I’m Elizabeth Craft.
Gretchen
And I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward solicit. I know that when you and Sarah get together for one of these writerly adventures, you often have a theme drink. You love a theme drink. What was the theme drink in Seattle this time?
Elizabeth
So we picked a gold rush because we’re looking into the Seattle gold rush. So we did the gold rush, which was fun because it’s it’s like a bourbon based drink, which neither of us would normally get. So we branched.
Gretchen
Out. And did you enjoy it?
Elizabeth
We did enjoy it. Not something we’d make at home, but we enjoyed it. Yes.
Gretchen
Okay, excellent. From the Onward Project