Try This at Home
Spare yourself the work of having unnecessary opinions.
Happiness Hack
A listener suggests doing a familiar activity at a different time of day or night, to experience it in a new way.
Know Yourself Better
When it comes to an experience–a party, a vacation, a food—do you feel that you should get maximum value from that experience, or do you feel that you should take what you want, even if that means you don’t “use it up?”
Listener Answers
In episode 464, we asked listeners, “How do you help yourself stay calm?” We heard so many great ideas.
I mention my book Life in Five Senses.
Demerits & Gold Stars
Gretchen’s Demerit: I’ve allowed piles of papers to mess up my office. I mention my book Outer Order, Inner Calm.
Elizabeth’s Gold Star: Elizabeth, Adam, and Jack all got their Covid/flu vaccines.
Resource
My “Four Tendencies” personality framework can help us in the workplace, by giving us insights into the behavior and perspective of a boss, colleague, or client. For practical tips for interacting with each of the Four Tendencies in a professional setting, go to happiercast.com/worktendencies.
What We’re Reading
*This transcript is unedited*
[499]
[music]
Gretchen
Hello and welcome to happier, a podcast where we talk about strategies, solutions, hacks, resources, suggestions, observations, all about how to live happier lives. This week, we’ll talk about why we might want to spare ourselves the work of having unnecessary opinions, and we will also share many suggestions from listeners about imaginative ways they keep themselves calm.
Gretchen
And.
Gretchen
I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, the empty nest phase, which I’m also calling the open door phase. Human nature. I’m coming to you from my little home office in New York City. And joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. And, Elizabeth, you’ve got several years ahead of you before you hit the open door stage.
Elizabeth
That’s me, Elizabeth Craft, TV writer and producer living in L.A. and yes, scratch, I have four more years, but today Jack’s at home because it is so hot in L.A.. Hey, that his school clothes.
Gretchen
Oh my goodness.
Elizabeth
Yes. So that is a heat wave. He’s having a heat day instead of a snow day.
Gretchen
That never happened to us growing up or never happened to L.A. is another okay Los Angeles. But before we jump in, we have a few updates.
Elizabeth
Yes, this comes from Kirstie, who is referring to the fact that you and I this summer went on our trip to England, where we walked all over Northumberland and the Lake District and one place we walked was called Cat bells. Yeah. And she said, having recently climbed Cat bells, I thought this might interest you. Last night I took part in a charity walk called the Lakeland Festival of Light.
Elizabeth
We lined the route up Cat bells and as the sun sets, there’s a countdown. Then we all turn on our torches, which is what they call flashlights. Yeah, the effect seen from Keswick or the opposite Bank of Derwyn Water is breathtaking. Having launched Cat bells previously, the experience of being up there and then walking back down in the dark was surreal.
Elizabeth
A completely different five senses experience to doing it during the day.
Gretchen
Well, spoiler alert we’re going to bring this up again later in the episode with a hat from another listener. But I have to say, I went online to look at pictures. She sent a picture of it. It is gorgeous and what an imaginative and exciting way to raise money for a charity, and also have a completely new way of experiencing an environment to do something with other people.
Gretchen
I just thought this was a breathtaking idea.
Elizabeth
Yes, and the picture she sent was so beautiful.
Gretchen
Yeah, what a fun thing to be part of.
Elizabeth
Also, on the topic of our trip to England, we got this from Alana from Scotland, who by the way noticed that you had said you like moss on rocks and flowers coming out of rocks.
Gretchen
Yeah. Walls? Yeah.
Elizabeth
Yes. Rock walls. She said, I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed the recent episodes where you and Elizabeth discussed your trip to England. I live in the Outer Hebrides, a chain of island off the west coast of Scotland, and we have heather covered moorland plants, strewn stone walls and styles in abundance. It was fun to hear you getting excited about things that are commonplace to me, and it made me think that you might enjoy looking at the At Lake sales account on X.
Elizabeth
It’s a quirky account full of pictures of styles and also kissing gates and finger posts and other random countryside bits and pieces from all over the UK. P.S my husband and I always exchange a kiss when passing through a kissing gate.
Gretchen
Oh I mean that is so sweet. But you know what I love about this is that it reminds you that the things that are very ordinary to you can be very exciting to people who are visiting. I always love it when that happens, because it makes you as the person for whom it’s ordinary. Appreciate your everyday life. For instance, as you were saying, like palm trees, you still appreciate palm trees because they’re new to you.
Gretchen
One of the things that you see in New York City, especially if you’re in Central Park, is squirrels. So we grew up in Kansas City. If you’re in New York City, squirrels are everywhere. Like, yeah, they’re cute and they’re graceful and they jump around and nobody really minds the squirrels that much. But people from other countries, they cannot believe their eyes.
Gretchen
They will take pictures. They’re just enchanted by squirrels. And every time I see it, I think, oh, I should appreciate the beauty of squirrels and the way they move and their gracefulness, because I take them for granted, because they’re so familiar. Just the way somebody else is. Like, oh, some flowers growing out of a wall. That’s something you see every day.
Gretchen
And here I am snapping away. Yeah, photographs. It’s a nice thing to remember.
Elizabeth
I absolutely.
Gretchen
And one more thing. We are coming up on 100th day in 2024. 100th day is September 23rd. So if there is something that you want to get done by the end of 2024, consider yourself notified that you’re approaching the 100 day mark, which I think is a good milestone. It’s a good catalyst to tackle that 24 and 24 list or whatever it might be.
Elizabeth
Yeah, so I need to go over my list and see where I am and what I could do before hitting that mark.
Gretchen
Yeah, Alyssa, this is not going to be one of my big accomplishment years. I’m just saying that right now. I don’t think.
Elizabeth
You’ve had a lot going on. Yeah.
Gretchen
Well, this week our try this at home suggestion is to spare yourself the work of unnecessary opinions.
Elizabeth
So explain what this means. Scratch.
Gretchen
Okay, this occurred to me recently because a couple incidences reminded me of the fact that I will tend to kind of work very hard, think really hard, really time myself up in knots, forming an opinion about something where it doesn’t make any difference what I think either it’s not my problem to solve, or nothing that I decide will have any influence on it at all.
Gretchen
And the way that I thought of this was okay. You know that Eleanor has gone off to college and in her dorm room. The way that it’s set up is there was one little room that had one bed in it, one little room that had a bunk bed in it, and one larger common room. And what we sort of knew in advance from some little video they sent is that most of the kids, these days debunk the bed and have somebody in the common room.
Gretchen
And so the question is a do you debunk the bed? And B who is in the common room of the three roommates? And I was really giving a lot of thought to, well, is this good? Is this bad? What are the pros? What are the cons? How would you manage it? Because you have to walk through the common room to get to the bedroom.
Gretchen
So if you’re in the common room, people are walking through your room. So I was really working hard to like come up with a take home. And then I realized this is not my problem. Yeah, Eleanor was on it. They were texting back and forth. They knew that this was an issue and they were figuring it out. And it’s like absolutely no one was interested in my opinion, had asked for my opinion, needed my opinion.
Gretchen
And by the way, I didn’t know anything more than she knew. Maybe you could say, okay, with time and experience, I’d have something, but I really didn’t. I mean, just personally, I don’t think I have a good insight into that, but I really was using a lot of mental energy, doing the pros and cons in my mind and trying to think through solutions.
Gretchen
It’s like spare myself that work.
Elizabeth
It’s funny, Gretchen, because I was at a lunch recently with a bunch of women, some of whom had just taken their kids to college for the first time, and it was so similar they were saying, well, I was suggesting that they should set up a routine where one person cleans the bathroom one week and then the next week.
Elizabeth
Yeah, but they didn’t know if they wanted to do that. And I was like, next week on the podcast, you talk about how you don’t have to have an opinion. You’ll never know how dirty the bathroom is or is it right? Or how often your son’s changing his sheets and you don’t need an opinion on this and it’s not great.
Gretchen
Well, another way this comes up is like, I’ll have a take where nobody’s asking me to give my op ed on Sundays, too. So one thing that I have strong opinions on is academic requirements. A lot of places might have a language requirement, math requirement, blah blah blah. And I don’t know if you have this, but maybe as a writer you start writing things in your head and I will start writing and rewriting and sort of like, no, I would lead with this.
Gretchen
And then, you know, this is a better verb and it’s tiring. Now, maybe it’s like doing scales in your head because I’m constantly writing in my head, and that’s probably good for me as a writer. But it’s also exhausting. Yeah. To think about, well, what if you would say this and I would say that and I’m like, just let it go if I want to like write an op ed, okay, do it.
Gretchen
But just to do it in my head so that I have my cake formulated, maybe for some people that’s enjoyable, but I definitely have a tendency to do it in ways that are just are tiring and make me feel drained. But there’s no point. It’s unnecessary, airy opinion forming that I don’t need to do.
Elizabeth
Yeah, a topic like that for me is the Olympics in Los Angeles. We’re going to have the Olympics. Yeah, and it’s like, do I think it’ll be fun to have the Olympics? Do I think it’ll be a pain to have the Olympics? Yeah. Do I wish that I wasn’t going to be in town during the Olympics? Do I think, oh my gosh, the most amazing thing in the world or having the Olympics and what will that be?
Elizabeth
And is it good for the city or not? It’s like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I really don’t need to analyze this because I have no control over it.
Gretchen
It’s done.
Elizabeth
It’s going to happen. I will experience it when it happens, and then I can report back on the podcast about how it was. Yeah, but up until then, I don’t need to, like, stare at the ceiling and ponder the Olympics.
Gretchen
Right. Well, I’ve found out from our wedding because for both of us, our mother, who has amazing, beautiful taste much more than we do, I think I speak for both of us. And she was very, very involved in making the decisions in our wedding. And one of the things she sort of gently teased me about was that I would say like, oh, I don’t have an opinion, but if I was asked for an opinion or I could weigh in, it turns out if somebody asked you your opinion, you often discover that you do have an opinion, and maybe not for the better.
Gretchen
And so one thing I’ve learned, especially in work contexts, is even if I’m sort of invited to give my opinion, to really have humility about what do I have good judgment about, and really to say to people in this, I defer to your judgment, because maybe they have better judgment than I do. I don’t need to have an opinion, and I might think that I have an opinion, but it’s not an educated opinion.
Gretchen
Or it’s maybe something where somebody might be much more aware of tradeoffs and considerations than I am. And so don’t just lob an opinion unnecessarily, especially if I’m not equipped to have a good opinion.
Elizabeth
Yeah, I think that’s such an important point, Gretchen, because not only is this about our own fatigue of just thinking or overthinking things, yeah, but it can really be a fun, pleasant or a pain or detrimental to those around you who do need to have an opinion or who it is impacting. Right? Like the room. If you had this really strong take on it and you were going against the vibe of the three roommates, that could create its own conflict, its own set of stress and strain for them.
Gretchen
You mean as if I, as the mother weighing in from the sidelines and interfering with their. Yes, absolutely.
Elizabeth
You could actually do harm. Yes. It’s not even just that. You yourself are worrying for no reason, it’s that you can negatively impact those who it is relevant to.
Gretchen
Because I Medlin.
Elizabeth
Yeah, and I think you and I both can have that tendency right now.
Gretchen
And again, it’s fine if your opinion is needed or if you enjoy rehearsing these things in your head, or you find it interesting to kind of articulate your views. But I am just really trying to notice when I am struggling to decide my opinion and unnecessarily exhausting myself.
Elizabeth
Good luck to us.
Gretchen
Yes, good luck to us.
Elizabeth
Endeavor not to have opinions when we don’t need to.
Gretchen
Yes, well. So let us know if you did try this at home. And now we have spared yourself the work of having unnecessary opinions. Is this something that you’ve experienced or is this just our thing? Oh, let us know on Instagram threads TikTok Facebook. Drop us an email add podcast to Gretchen rubin.com. Or always you can go to the show notes.
Gretchen
This is happier Cars.com slash 499 for everything related to this episode.
Elizabeth
All right, coming up, we’ve got a happiness hack related to the five senses. But first, this break.
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Gretchen
Okay Elizabeth this is a happiness hack that comes from a listener.
Elizabeth
Yes Jessica said every year our town has a community fair. And I’ve noticed the going at night and then during the day are two totally different experiences. I’ve noticed this also when taking my kids to a local amusement park doing the exact same thing, but at different times of the day can lead to wildly different memories. This insight has brought a lot of joy to my family’s life, and I wanted to pass it along to your listeners.
Gretchen
Well, this is exactly what the listener was saying about Cap Bells, that it was completely different to do that at night. And I love the way that this is a five senses experience, where it’s like you’re having the same experience, but it’s utterly transformed because it’s at a different time of the day.
Elizabeth
Yes. And Gretchen, this reminds me, she mentioned an amusement park when we were young. We love going to Worlds of Fun and Kansas City, our amusement park. Yes. And as we got older, we would start going at nights when it was much less crowded and cooler. Yeah. And it was so different at night. It seemed so glamorous.
Gretchen
Yes, it was all lit up. Everything was sort of outlaw. I can still see the octopus outlining lime green electric lights.
Elizabeth
Yes. And remember, you could get in for less. Yeah, for 5 p.m.. Yes. So there was a real incentive to go at night and it was just totally different.
Gretchen
Yes, it was a very different experience. So this is a great way to get more mileage out of our experiences to think, well, what if we had a picnic at dawn or we had a picnic to see the moon or whatever it might be? I thought this was a really imaginative yet very simple hack to transform experiences.
Elizabeth
Yes. So thank you for that.
Gretchen
Okay, and now for a know yourself better question. Okay, so Elizabeth, when it comes to something, whether it is a party or a vacation or food, what do you feel like in your mind? You’re thinking, I have to get the maximum value. I have to drain every drop from this thing or this experience or this situation, or do you feel like you should just take what you want, satisfy what you want, even if that means that you you don’t use it up.
Gretchen
You don’t stay to the last minute. You don’t eat the last bite. What do you think?
Elizabeth
Well, Gretchen, I am definitely one of the use it up people. I am somebody.
Gretchen
I figured that’s what I figured.
Elizabeth
That I should be using it up. If I’m at a party, I feel I should try to stay till the end. If I’m at an amusement park, I feel like I should ride all the rides. Yeah, if I’m on vacation and I feel like I shouldn’t be in the room, I should be out at least laying by the pool.
Elizabeth
It’s not that I feel I necessarily need to be sightseeing, but I want to be enjoying the property and I am trying to change that. But as of now, I feel guilty. If I don’t. So it’s not even necessarily that I want to.
Elizabeth
Use it up. It’s that I feel guilty if I don’t.
Gretchen
Right? And so in a way, it undercuts your enjoyment of an experience because you’re feeling like I’m doing it wrong. Yes. Well, I think that it’s interesting because I’m definitely in the same way as you. I think our parents are the same way. And I think an example of this is like when we would go on vacation, like as a family, we were like, hit the ground running, do everything we possibly could come back at the last possible minute.
Gretchen
And it was really different for me to be with Jamie, because Jamie is definitely a person where he is like, I want what I want and if there’s something left over that I don’t want, that’s okay. I don’t have to get the maximum value. I need to get the value that is the value that I want from this experience.
Gretchen
And it’s funny because I didn’t even realize that that was a different perspective. Right? I didn’t understand that somebody could have a different view. I could see how for some people, this could be a conflict where like people have conflict. But for me, I think like Ewell is that I often had guilt. And so it was a tremendous relief for me, for Jamie to be like, look, we’ve done a lot of sightseeing today.
Gretchen
We’re all kind of tired. Let’s all go back and take a nap. And I’m like, wow, can you do that?
Elizabeth
Yeah, it’s.
Gretchen
Exciting to think, well, you can just take as much as you want. You don’t have to have as much as you can.
Elizabeth
Yeah. This is definitely a source of conflict between Adam and me. Oh, well, why are we even going if we’re not going to do all the things? Yes. So I am really trying to say, well, what do I want to do now? What should I do? What do I want to do?
Gretchen
Right. It’s kind of an interesting question to keep in mind, because if you are having experiences where you’re consistently not using things up, then maybe you do want to play it differently. Like if we’re not going to do x, y, z, why are we even going there? Or maybe we think we want this kind of experience, but then when we have the opportunity, we really don’t seem to want that kind of experience.
Gretchen
Maybe this is a fantasy of what we think we want to do with our time. We actually want to be doing something else. Maybe you’re too ambitious, you’ve got too much on your plate, or maybe you’ve made a choice that in the end, is like people aren’t that excited about.
Elizabeth
Yeah. What’s interesting about this know yourself Better question is, unlike a lot of our questions, where you sort of are what you are like a night owl or a lark, right. This you could really change your attitude about you got to examine weight. Yeah. How do I feel and is it serving me and is that how I want to feel?
Elizabeth
Because you also might be someone who could stand to use things up a little more to push yourself. Yes. Because, you know, okay, if I get up and do the sunrise hike, I will enjoy it. Yes. So let me not just be complacent. Let me try to use up this time in a national park. So it goes both ways, right?
Gretchen
Because you want to take advantage of opportunities. So again it’s that thing about we want to accept ourselves and also expect more from ourselves. And I think this is just a helpful question because it just lets you ask a question in a different way that maybe would highlight aspects of your patterns so that you say, well, should I let myself dial back a little bit, or should I really push myself to get more value out of something?
Gretchen
It’s not that there’s one right way, it’s just that people have different perspectives. People might have conflicts because they have different perspectives, or maybe we want to do something different for ourselves, like you said. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Now for listener answers. Sometimes we answer listener question and sometimes listeners answer our questions. And this is a bunch of great suggestions that we got in response to episode 4 or 64, where we talked about ways to give ourselves calm and I have to say that for me, a huge benefit in my life that came out of writing the book Life in Five Senses is that, you know, I gave myself the exercise of going to the met
Gretchen
every day, and now I know if I’m rattled, if I’m uneasy, if I’m feeling lonely for Eleanor and the open door. If I need to give myself serenity. I go to the met. And the minute I walk through the doors, I just feel it drop over me. It feels peaceful and exciting at the same time, which is not easy.
Gretchen
And so for me, visiting the met is really a source of calm that I can turn to. How about you, Elizabeth? What do you turn to?
Elizabeth
Well, you know, I still have my blankie from childhood, Gretchen, and definitely holding my blankie, smelling my like my blankie really helps calm me down. Yeah. When Jack was little, like, if I woke up in the night with racing thoughts or whatever, I would go and get into bed with him and that would calm me down. But of course, now he’s really too old for that, unfortunately.
Gretchen
Oh yes, holding a baby. Yes.
Elizabeth
And of course, now that we have the dogs, I find brushing the dogs calms me down. Yeah. So thing where I feel like I’m being productive, but also getting that nice dog time.
Gretchen
But again, this is one of the things I wrote about in Life in Five Senses, which is that we can use touch the things that we hold on, the things that we touch to really calm ourselves. And so I think holding a child or brushing a dog are great examples of that. Evelyn said. When you have little kids, the hour before dinner can be especially stressful.
Gretchen
One thing that calms me down and also seems to call my kids down, is watching and listening to The Nutcracker Ballet on YouTube. I’ve always loved The Nutcracker and have seen it many times. The music is very fun and doesn’t have words, but instead has visual images of the dancers that pop into my head. For me, because I’ve watched it so many times, I think the combination of the brain movie and the music shuts off a stress switch for me.
Gretchen
My kids get up and try to copy the steps or just watch, mesmerized if they are very tired. So that’s lovely.
Elizabeth
Yes, Carissa said. One thing that calms me down is to read spa menus. It makes me feel like I’m getting ready to go have a wonderful spa treatment, even if I never book a thing that.
Gretchen
Just cracked me up.
Elizabeth
I also like to read the spa menu.
Gretchen
Really?
Elizabeth
Yes, I will do that. I will go look at Mirrorball or something.
Gretchen
Can I just say I never thought of that in a million years? Okay, Peggy says watching a craft project or making a craft project, this is interesting because on social media especially, my daughter Eliza loves to watch things like people frosting cakes or people painting a canvas. It’s very satisfying to do a craft project yourself, but even watching somebody do it can be very, very calming.
Elizabeth
Pamela Anne said. Deep breaths. And sometimes I just need to hug my daughter. She’s a cancer survivor. She’s now 14 years old, and hugging her always grounds me and reminds me that nothing else matters.
Gretchen
Oh that’s beautiful. Yes, Lindsey says, a cat in my life would solve any problem. So there’s like cats and dogs both great.
Elizabeth
Sherri said, listening to a guided meditation, gardening, hands in dirt, a walk in nature.
Gretchen
Classics Connie said I learned a song that basically is the 50 states in alphabetical order in first grade. I’m 57 now. I find myself singing it in times of stress. It works to distract me. I love it.
Elizabeth
Sandy said exercise and for me that’s riding my bike. I’m a cyclist and a bike ride can change my day. Wind in my face, challenging hills and I’ve got a whole new outlook. Seeing the world on a bike gives me a whole different view, literally and mentally.
Gretchen
Horrific, Ashley said. I’ve started doing puzzles while listening to audiobooks when I’m anxious. It helps a lot to keep my hands and mind busy simultaneously.
Elizabeth
That’s what Sarah does. My writing partner, Olivia says cleaning the sense of accomplishment after washing the dishes or folding a load of laundry brings the world back into perspective.
Gretchen
For many people, outer order contributes to inner calm.
Elizabeth
It’s true you wrote a book about it, I read.
Gretchen
Yes, I did, Sydney said. Sensory overload is a big contributor to my anxiety. When I start to feel anxious, I try to eliminate negative sensations. First, is there music or other audio planning that I can turn off and my overheated in? Can I remove a layer? Is there visual clutter I can clear? Am I hungry or thirsty? This is a really great approach.
Elizabeth
Lisa said, playing solitaire the old fashioned way with a real deck of cards. Not on an app.
Gretchen
Again, it’s the tactile there. Christine says watching Pride and Prejudice, the BBC version for the 100th.
Elizabeth
Time, and then great. Sometimes the opposite approach is work for different people, Pam said. A cold shower, or at least a very cold washcloth to the face, will disrupt anxiety. So instead of a warm shower, a cold.
Gretchen
Shower, right? And Nicole said, warm shower or bath and getting into a big fluffy robe. So you do you.
Elizabeth
And finally, Sarah says, I was recently traveling and had three flights back to back 20 solid hours. I don’t normally sleep in public places because it’s hard to relax, but in this case, I was with someone who was making sure things were safe and we just had a lot of time to burn with layovers. I put on your podcast and had a neck pillow and to my surprise, I was able to sleep in both the airport and the plane.
Elizabeth
I think hearing both of your voices helped me feel something familiar and that I could let go and sleep. Now I just have to go back and listen to the episode that I missed, but I’m glad I was able to turn to my favorite podcast for comfort in a stressful time. Thanks! Oh great. I love being a voice that someone can fall asleep to.
Gretchen
I tend to some people might think, is that good? We say, yes, that is good. We would love to be the calming soporific yes. Great suggestions from everyone.
Elizabeth
Yes. Thanks everyone. Coming up, Gretchen gives herself a repeat demerit. But first, this break.
[music]
Elizabeth
All right guys, we’re back with demerits and gold stars. And this week you have a repeat demerit.
Gretchen
Oh I repeated this one so many times. Like I said, outer order contributes to intercom. I know that I’m a person who feels calmer when I have a lot of order around me, and yet I will just let piles of papers grow in my office. I’m just generally letting it get messy with sort of books out of place, pens out of place, just stuff I need to sit down and do a real purge and not even just hiding it until I need to go through it and really cut back.
Gretchen
There’s a lot of stuff that’s just accumulated, but you know how it is when I’m in the middle of a workday, nothing sounds more enticing than clearing clutter. And then when I actually have some free time, I don’t feel like doing that. I want to go read a novel, so I need to buckle down. It really will make me feel a lot more calm and energized if I get control of the mess in my office.
Elizabeth
Yes, Gretchen, I know you will be snapping less often if you haven’t cleaned off.
Gretchen
Yes, I need to read my outer order intercom book and get inspired. That’s what it’s for. And how about your gold star? Let’s just take us up, all right?
Elizabeth
I am giving a gold star to myself, Adam and Jack, and also to modern medicine, because we all went and got our new Covid vaccines and flu shots.
Gretchen
Oh, Good.
Elizabeth
Oh, Good. So I just got it done. So many people have Covid in Los Angeles. I just kept hearing, this person has Covid, that person has Covid. And the new shots came out and I just went on the website, made an appointment. We went, we got both at the same time. And now we are set. And I feel so relieved.
Gretchen
Oh, it’s just so nice to get that crossed off the list.
Elizabeth
Yes, and it’s the kind of thing there have been years where in February I’ve finally gotten the flu shot. So yeah, it’s done now. So. And a reminder to everybody get your vaccines. Yes.
Gretchen
Yeah. It’s very easy. I got to get that done. You’ve inspired me. So gold to all three of you and medicine the resource for this week. There is a four tendencies at work PTF. So September is the other January. Everybody’s buckling down to work after the summer. And one thing people often ask me is about using the four tendencies at work.
Gretchen
How to be happier at work by reducing conflict or procrastination or whatever. And the four tendencies can really be helpful if you’re trying to understand your boss or a colleague or a client or a student, why they’re doing what they’re doing, how to deal with them more successfully. So I have a resource on my website that has lots of practical tips about using the four tendencies at work, so you can get that if you are interested and have your cars.com slash work tendencies.
Gretchen
And that’s one word. Elizabeth, what are we reading? What are you reading?
Elizabeth
I am reading Ambition Monster, a memoir by Jennifer a Rama, Leni.
Gretchen
And I’m about to start Ghost by Jason Reynolds. And that’s it for this episode of happier. Remember to try this at home. Spare yourself the work of forming unnecessary opinions. Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.
Elizabeth
Thank you to our Executive producer, Chuck Reed and everyone at Audacy. Get in touch Gretchen’s on Instagram threads, Facebook and TikTok at Gretchen Rubin, and I’m on threads and Instagram at Liz Craft. Our email address is podcast at Gretchen rubin.com.
Gretchen
If you like this show, please rate and review. Is that really helps our show and tell everyone you know. Here’s your rhyming reminder. If you like the show, tell everyone you know.
Elizabeth
Until next week, I’m Elizabeth Craft.
Gretchen
And I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward.
Gretchen
Elizabeth, it’s funny how many memories I have of worlds of fun from childhood. The smells and the cotton candy and the funnel cakes. Us, the funnel cakes, the octopus, the flume. Some of them. Now, when we go, they’ve got different names. But I still call them by their old name.
Elizabeth
The gift shops with all the little souvenirs.
Gretchen
Oh, and remember the twirly long lollipop that didn’t even taste good. But it was so pretty. We always got one.
Elizabeth
Well, in one time dad got me one of the big paper flowers I remember. I have it in my. It was green. I had it in my room for.
Gretchen
Oh my.
Elizabeth
Gosh, decades.
Gretchen
I remember that flower.
Gretchen
From the onward project.