There’s one Secret of Adulthood that has been very important for me to learn, and something that I often tell my children.

You don’t have to be good at something to be good at something.

This was crucial realization for me, because growing up, I always assumed that if I were interested in following a career in such-and-such, I’d have to be a master all the skills related to it. So if I couldn’t be good at every part of it, I shouldn’t pursue it.

I thought that if I wanted to be an artist, I had to be good at drawing. I thought that if I wanted to work in finance, I had to be good at math. I thought that if I wanted to be a novelist, I had to be good at writing. 

With time and experience, however, I’ve learned that that just isn’t true. Many people are wildly successful in fields where they lack what people might assume are essential skills.

Take musicians. I thought that if I wanted to be a musician, I had to have all the essential musical skills. 

But consider the examples of Dolly Parton, Paul McCartney, Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, Jimi Hendrix! These musicians didn’t have a thorough education in music, they lacked arguably crucial skills—but that didn’t stop them.

Many extraordinary storytellers aren’t very good writers, and the novels they write are terrific.

As part of my “Project Empty Nest,” I’ve done something I’ve called “Operation Knicks Knowledge.” Two years ago, I just decided to take a deep interest in New York City’s basketball team, the Knicks. I wanted to see if I could make myself interested in a subject. Spoiler alert: I can. And I picked the greatest possible moment to take an interest in the Knicks!

And one thing I learned is that you don’t have to be good at basketball to be good at basketball. Meaning, you can be a great basketball player even if you don’t have to excel at every skill required of a basketball player.

One of Knicks’ important big men is Mitchell Robinson. He’s a highly valued member of the team, especially for his defense: he protects the rim, blocks short, grabs offensive rebounds, and scores well on close-range shots like dunks and layups.

But Mitchell Robinson is famously terrible at shooting free throws! A free throw is the shot a player takes from the line after certain fouls—and Robinson misses them at an astonishing rate. There are little kids who can stand at the line and make free throw after free throw, but Robinson struggles to make even one out of two. Everybody knows this!

And yet he’s a highly acclaimed player for the NBA. 

Of course, with whatever we’re trying to do, we want to be as good as we can possibly be. We must train, learn, practice, perfect. Mitchell Robinson surely wishes he could be better at free throws, and probably works hard at it!

With everything I do, I’m always trying to do better. But I also remind myself that I don’t necessarily have to be good at something to be good at something.