Ep. 37: A close look at the Obliger Tendency. Are you like Elizabeth, and find it easy to meet outer expectations (a work deadline) but struggle to meet inner expectations (New Year’s resolution)? Want to get in touch? @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com; happiercast.com/37; 774-277-9336.
To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Today is the third in the series of four episodes that we’re devoting to the Four Tendencies. In last week’s episode, we talked about the Upholder Tendency; this week, it’s Obliger.
To find out if you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel, take the Four Tendencies quiz here.
Try This at Home
If you’re an Obliger, or you’re around an Obliger (which you surely are), help the Obliger to figure out a system of outer accountability so the Obliger can meet an inner expectation.
Strengths and Weaknesses of Obligers
How to identify and take advantage of the strengths, and counter-balance the weaknesses, of the Tendency.
Striking Pattern of Obligers
Obliger-rebellion. Obligers will meet, meet, meet, meet expectations — and then suddenly, they snap, and refuse to meet an expectation. This can be a symbolic, small act, or a hugely explosive act.
Listener Question
“I’m an Obliger, and I find that disturbing. I should be my own priority. Is it possible to move from Obliger to Upholder?”
Gretchen’s Demerit
After years of feeling bad about the fact that I don’t work very productively when I travel, I decided — hey, no more demerits, I’m going to use that time to read for fun.
Elizabeth’s Gold Star
Adam suggested, “No more unkind voices.”