“I’ll comply if you convince me why.”

Questioners question all expectations, and they respond to an expectation only if they conclude that it makes sense—in essence, they meet only inner expectations. They’re motivated by reason, logic, and fairness, which can lead to conflict when they don’t have enough information.
Download The Questioner Tendency Report to learn more.

Understand Yourself. Understand Others.

One of the daily challenges of life is: “How do I get myself—and other people—to do what I want?” When we understand our Tendency and how we respond to expectations, we can find the tools that work for us to build the life we want.

Have you ever wondered…

  • Why can other people rely on me, but I can’t rely on myself?
  • Why does it seem like I resist doing things I WANT to do?
  • What can’t other people accept that I find comfort and freedom in my routines?
  • Why doesn’t everyone do the things they say they are going to do like I do?
  • Why do I struggle to make decisions, often becoming overwhelmed by analysis paralysis?
  • Why can’t I make time for myself and the habits I know would make me happier and healthier?
Four Tendencies Circles
Whether you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel, you can learn to harness the strengths and counterbalance the negative aspects of your Tendency to achieve your aims. Learn more about the Four Tendencies framework and get practical tips to become happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative, in the ways that work for you.

Using the Four Tendencies

In just about any role we play—as manager, health-care professional, team member, teacher, coach, spouse, parent, or colleague, to name a few—it’s helpful to know our own and other people’s Tendencies. It’s hard to grasp just how differently we can all see the world. When we can see other people’s perspectives, we understand why, from their point of view, their actions make sense.

In a nutshell:

  • Upholders want to know what should be done.
  • Questioners want justifications.
  • Obligers need accountability.
  • Rebels want freedom to do something their own way.

Watch interviews with an Obliger, Questioner, Upholder, and Rebel to learn how they harnessed their Tendency, discover resources to apply your self-knowledge in different aspects of life, and dive deeper into the Four Tendencies framework.

About Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, The Happiness Project, and Happier at Home. She has an enormous readership, both in print and online, and her books have sold three million copies worldwide, in more than thirty languages. She is also the co-host of the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast along with her sister Elizabeth.