It’s time for the next installment of “Happier with Gretchen Rubin.” (Remember, if you’d like to get an email alert every time we release a new episode, you can sign up here.)
Elizabeth, such a good sister, gives a plug for my book, Better Than Before — soon to be out in paperback. We also talk about Christmas Boot Camp, Dog-Car-Riding Boot Camp, and a great unpacking tip. Also, eggs. We’ve heard from so many people about eggs! My daughters and I are now eating lots of hard-boiled eggs.
Today is the second in the series of four episodes that we’re devoting to the Four Tendencies. In last week’s episode, we talked about the Upholder Tendency; this week, it’s Questioner. To help shed light on the Questioner Tendency, we talk to brilliant agent Christy Fletcher.
To take the Four Tendencies quiz, go here. Find out if you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel.
Try This at Home
Think about a few people in your life, identify their Tendencies, and try to put that knowledge to use. Understanding a Tendency can make it easier to manage conflict, come to agreement, and convince others of your point of view.
Strengths and Weaknesses of Questioners
As Christy points out, as with all the Tendencies, the strengths and the weaknesses of the Questioners are the flip sides of each other.
Striking Pattern of Questioners
Questioners can get overwhelmed or paralyzed by their desire to get their questions answered — or they can overwhelm or annoy others with their desire for more information. We discuss how Questioners can get the benefits of their Tendency, and deal constructively with the downsides. Christy has some specific suggestions that work for her.
Christy’s Try This at Home
Say “yes” to something that makes you uncomfortable.
“As a Questioner, I love to research and will spend a lot of time questioning my own decisions. One of my biggest challenges is ‘decision paralysis.’ How do Questioners overcome decision paralysis?” To read more about the maximizer vs. satisficer distinction, which we briefly discuss, read here, or in Better Than Before, in the chapter on the Strategy of Distinctions.
Elizabeth hasn’t been exercising as much as she wants to do.
Gretchen’s Gold Star
Jamie told our friend, “We’ve all done it.” Exactly the right thing to say.