Update

Elizabeth announces that Season Two of Fantasy Island will premiere on January 2, 2023! If you haven’t watched Season One yet, start watching.

Try This At Home

Buy gifts early. Of course, in order to buy gifts, we need ideas, so we share many of our favorite gift ideas, as well as ideas from listeners.

Click here for the full list with links!

Elizabeth mentions the items in the Happiness Project shop. 
• 20% off any orders of $100+  with promo code HAPPIERNOVEMBER20
• 15% off any order for returning customers with promo code HOLIDAYVIP15

We also mention the “Gift of Podcast” certificate.

If you want personalized, signed bookplates for books for yourself, or to make gifts more special for others, request now! U.S. and Canada only, alas—mailing costs.

For the full gift guide, with links, check out the article.

If you want more gift ideas, listen to episode 287 of Happier in Hollywood.

Happiness Hack

As discussed in the conversation about “phubbing,” we aren’t very good at multitasking. A listener suggests that, when waiting in line, use the time to get credit cards, coupons, or cash ready, and get off the phone when your turn comes.

Interview: Temple Grandin

Temple Grandin is a scientist, academic, writer, and animal behaviorist. She’s a consultant to the livestock industry, where she offers advice on animal behavior, and is a faculty member in the College of Agricultural Sciences at Colorado State University. Temple Grandin is one of the first autistic people to document the insights she gained from her personal experience of autism, and she’s an outspoken proponent of autism rights and neurodiversity movements.

Now she has a new book, Visual Thinking: The Hidden Gifts of People Who Think in Pictures, Patterns, and Abstractions (Amazon, Bookshop). In it, she draws on cutting-edge research to explore the concept of “visual thinking” and to argue why we need to recognize and nurture this approach.

We talked about the difference between verbal thinkers and visual thinkers, and how to engage visual thinkers. Bottom line: People have different kinds of minds and excel in different kinds of problem-solving, and it’s easy to forget that.

Temple Grandin’s Try This at Home: Pursue a career that interests you.

Demerits & Gold Stars

• Elizabeth’s Demerit: She regrets the fact that she stopped weighing herself every day during the pandemic. It’s not a habit that works for everyone, but it works for her. She mentions that using the Don’t Break the Chain Journal has been helpful.
• Gretchen’s Gold Star: I give myself a gold star for staying flexible when an exciting opportunity — to appear on The Talk — appeared at the last minute.

Resources

There’s a new “Jump-Start Your Habits” section on the home screen of the Happier app related to the holidays. Each day you’ll find a new, easy, actionable prompt to plan ahead, check items off your to-do list, and find ways to be present.

Log in or download the Happier app today to join in:
o November 13–19: Seven Days of Planning
o November 20–26: Seven Days of Doing
o November 27–December 3: Seven Days of Appreciating

Learn more at thehappierapp.com.

What we’re reading

• Elizabeth: When You Trap a Tiger by Tae Keller (Amazon, Bookshop)
• Gretchen: The King Must Die by Mary Renault (Amazon, Bookshop)

Gretchen:
Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about strategies and tips for building happier habits into our everyday lives. This week, we’ll talk about why it’s helpful to buy gifts early, and we will share many of our favorite gift ideas from ourselves and from listeners. And we will also talk to writer and professor Temple Grandin about her new book, “Visual Thinking.”

I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, human nature, and the five senses. I’m in New York City, and with me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. And Elizabeth, I am so excited. You have a premiere date for Fantasy Island. I cannot wait to watch.

Elizabeth:
Yes, that’s me. Elizabeth Craft, a T.V. writer and producer living in L.A., and Gretchen, January 2nd—it’s a Monday at 8 p.m.—everybody can tune in for Season two of Fantasy Island.

Gretchen:
It’s so exciting.

Elizabeth:
I’m sure I’ll be talking about it a lot. Cannot wait. It’s a great season. I’m really excited for people to see it.

Gretchen:
Well, I’ve heard little bits and pieces, so I cannot wait to see the actual show because you will never be revealed to me. All the twists and things. So, yes, I’m very curious. A few updates before we jump in. We talked about time capsules a couple of episodes ago, and Meghan had a great idea.

She does time capsules with her kids every leap day. So every four years, they make one and open one. And she says, “Four years is an eternity in a child’s life.” And I think that’s true. And I think I always feel like there should be something special to do on Leap Day. I’ve tried this and that over the years, but I thought this was a perfect fit for a celebration of a minor holiday in a way that’s really imaginative and fun.

Elizabeth:
Yes, I love that, Meghan. And Gretchen, soon we are going to unveil our challenge for 23 in ’23. We’ve done “Read,” we’ve done “Rest,” we’ve done “Walk,” and this will be something different in ’23.

Gretchen:
Yeah. So we’re really curious to hear, like, what did you learn for Rest 22 and ’22? We’re coming up on the end of Rest 22 and ’22. So what were the lessons learned? How did people interpret that? What did they do with that? Because we’ll be talking about our own experiences with Rest 22 in ’22. And then, yes, we have a great idea for 23 in ’23. Very excited to unveil that.

Elizabeth:
Yes.

Gretchen:
But the Try This at Home suggestion this week is to buy gifts early. And I mean, I don’t think we have to say much about why this contributes to happiness because it just makes life easier. There are less crowds; there are less shortages. You can find what you want. You have peace of mind. You can take your time. You’re not rushed.

But to do that, you need ideas. And so I was just going to say buy gifts early, and now we’re going to focus on what the heck might those be and throw out a bunch of suggestions. So these are some of our favorite ideas. So, Elizabeth, what are some of your favorite go-to ideas right now?

Elizabeth:
Okay. One is Barkbox, which is, you know, as a new dog owner, I’ve discovered all things dog. And I gave this to both of my sisters-in-law. And it’s, you know, you send it… every month or every other month, I think… something comes for the dog. Yeah, toys, treats, that kind of thing. And they loved it. I know you’ve received BarkBox and loved it. So it was just a huge hit and something everyone can enjoy. Watching a dog be happy is very joyful.

Gretchen:
No, I mean with us, first of all, Barnaby now is very excited when any kind of brown cardboard box comes to the house. So it can be a little bit heartbreaking because he’s always like, “Is this one for me?” You know, he kind of stands next to the box until somebody makes it clear. So he’s very excited. And it is like… we take videos… we got… it was mom and dad who gave it to us. So we’ll like take a video of like how excited he is and send it to them. So it’s stuff, but it’s also an experience because it’s the experience. And then it kind of goes away too, because a lot of it is treats or toys that they play with. Yeah. So that’s great. Okay, what else? And that’s Barkbox.

Elizabeth:
Barkbox. I love Corkcicle, which is known for having mugs and travel cups to keep things warm and cold, but they also have a line of like coolers. They have a cooler backpack called the Lotus. They have the Estelle Tote, which is a tote bag, and they’re just really pretty. I think we all find ourselves needing coolers of various types, and they’re just really attractive, really well-made, a little pricey. But if you need, like Sara and I wanted to get our lawyer and our agent something nice, we got Corkcicle, so I love those. And then, of course, Gretchen, every year, I have to say how much I love Notes to Self Socks. And I know you love them too.

Gretchen:
Yes, I’m. Well, let me see. I can flash them right now.

Elizabeth:
Hi.

Gretchen:
Yeah, mine says, “I am happy.” They have like…

Elizabeth:
It’s a note on the toe. So yours says, “I am happy,” and then it says “happy” on the bottom.

Gretchen:
I just show that on YouTube, by the way, if you’re just on audio. Yes. It’s a special treat for YouTube listeners.

Elizabeth:
They’re a great gift for teachers because they have “I am a great teacher.” I got them for Jack’s coach, “I am a great coach.” They have all sorts of…

Gretchen:
“Dog lover.”

Elizabeth:
“Dog lover.” And they come in all kinds of colors. And it’s a Kansas City company which we love. What about you, Gretchen? What are some of your favorite gifts?

Gretchen:
Okay, my new favorite gift is the John Derian sticker book. It is… this isn’t your page of stickers that you got in fourth grade for, like getting 100 on your spelling test. This is beautiful. It’s a lot of vintage images, like, think French botanical poster or something like that. Some are very small; some are really big, much bigger than usually have stickers.

So like, I’ve put them on gift bags to, like, give them and sort of an elevated, interesting, sophisticated look, but on a plain gift bag because I reuse my gift bags over and over. So I really recommend that. It feels much more substantial than it is. Like, I think it feels like it would be more expensive than it actually is. So it’s a good bargain in that way.

And I bought mine from the New York Public Library Gift Store, and I always think it’s nice if you can buy something from a museum gift store or a botanical garden gift store where you’re really supporting an institution that you value as well as just making a purchase. And so if you’d like to do that, you can buy it from the New York Public Library, but I think you can buy it elsewhere as well.

And those are also, like, Drive-by Hack: Those are often really good places to find unusual gift ideas. Like, the Museum of Modern Art is famous, like, they have a freestanding gift store in SOHO because they have so many great gifts and stuff to get. So that’s that.

And then the other one is… and this is sort of a gift that’s also a tradition, if you’re thinking about holiday traditions. So our mother started a tradition of giving a classic Christmas picture book every year as one of the gifts. And there’s so many wonderful, you know, “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” or “Santa Mouse,” and you have books like that. And if you want something really cool, I love pop-up books. I love pop-up books. And Robert Sabuda, who is the reigning king of pop-up books, has beautiful holiday pop-up books like “The 12 Days of Christmas.” And so that could be… you could just give a book if you’re looking for a book or if you want to start a tradition, and then you have your holiday picture books. And that can be fun because it’s like, “Oh, we see these at holiday time,” but they’re not out all the time, and that’s just fun.

Elizabeth:
Yeah, I love taking out my collection of holiday books and putting them on the coffee table. And Christmas—taking out the regular coffee table books and replacing them with those. So yeah.

Gretchen:
You can see which are on the shelf, and they’re very visually interesting. Yeah. So it’s fun. And so then we also got a bunch from listeners. Let’s start in.

Elizabeth:
Yes, this comes from Monica. She says, “SouperCubes.” These are great to add to the Gift Guide, but also a Happiness Hack. They are basically food storage in the form of a silicone ice cube tray available in one cup, two cups, etc. I use them for soups because I can store them in serving sizes and quickly pop them into a bowl or pots and defrost them for a meal.

“As a happiness hack: 1. I first read about these during chemo and made a couple of batches of soup so that I could easily store (so much better for organizing the freezer too). 2. For friends with a new baby or have just moved or are experiencing illness, I make soups or buy my favorites at local restaurants and freeze them, giving them the soup plus SouperCube. 3. For times when we go to family dinners or friend dinners (think Thanksgiving or Christmas), and we know there will be an attempt to foist massive amounts of leftovers, I bring the Souper Cube and explain that we have limited storage space and/or I’m trying to do my part for the environment and only take home what fits.”

And Gretch, these are available at Williams-Sonoma at Food52. You can order them on Amazon. It’s a great idea.

Gretchen:
Yeah. Pamela says, “For a higher price point,” because Elizabeth, as you said, sometimes you want something that kind of a higher price point, I recommend giving someone a gift voucher to Stitch Fix, which is a clothing website where you complete a profile about what styles you like and provide your measurements, and then you get a wardrobe capsule in the mail. I’ve done it a few times myself, and it’s so much fun. The clothes and shoes are high quality, and they’re all pieces that can be worn together. Everything is exchangeable and returnable.”

As she points out, this is great if, like, you don’t know someone’s size. Because sometimes you know they love clothes, but you don’t know their sizes. And this way, you’re giving them a gift. But then they’re kind of making their choices themselves within a certain range. So I thought that was good.

Elizabeth:
Yes. One of my favorite pairs of shoes I got through Stitch Fix.

Gretchen:
And jeans? Didn’t you get a…

Elizabeth:
Yes, yes. Jeans that I love. Marissa says, “SweetPaws Wearable Puppy Teethers are stylish silicone bracelets that double as chew toys so that you can always have one on hand to redirect a nippy puppy. Simply remove from the wrist when puppy is ready to play.” Another dog-related thing.

Gretchen:
There you go. Karen says, “During the pandemic, my mom and I began FaceTiming a lot more since we knew seeing each other in person was not going to happen for a while. We both love to do puzzles, especially wooden ones. For Christmas, I bought my mom a puzzle, and my husband bought the same one for me. My mom and I would connect via FaceTime and work on the puzzle together. Of course, chatting all the while. The hard part was trying to keep myself from working on it when we weren’t together. One of my favorite wooden puzzle sellers is Nautilus Puzzles. They have a great variety of pictures, fun thing pieces, as well as different skill levels. This gift definitely brought my mom and me happiness, a sense of connection and shared experience, even when we couldn’t be together.”

So this is great. We’re going to get more into experience gifts, but this is a gift that also has an experience tied to it.

Elizabeth:
Yes. And then, so Gretch, you have some products to recommend from your recent time at The Talk.

Gretchen:
Yes. So I went on The Talk, the T.V. show, which is very, very exciting. And part of what’s fun, you know, you get professional hair and makeup done. And one of the things that I always do when I am talking to professional hair and makeup people is to ask, “Are there any products that you really love?” Because all of them use all different brands and they usually have some things that they’re really excited to recommend. So here is what I heard.

First of all, from the makeup artist. She recommended the Mineral Air Complexion Starter Kit, which is kind of like a spray gun for a foundation. This is if you really want to have that really, really have foundation on and really like control your look that way, and it’s a little bit more expensive. But she said she’s recommended it to some people who have loved it. And she also recommends the Bare Minerals Complexion Rescue tinted gel cream, which she says really gives you a smooth look and it also has sunscreen in it. Now, with both of these things, though, I will say you have to have a color. You have to match the skin color. That can be tricky. And so maybe you want to ask for it for yourself.

Elizabeth:
Yes.

Gretchen:
Because then you can make that decision because I looked at it and, like, part of getting it looking good in clothes is there’s a lot to choose from. And I’m like, I wish I had asked her what color she is for me because I do not know anything. But if you don’t want to get into that, she also recommended Moroccan Magic lip balm. And by the way, we’re gonna put links for all this in the show notes. So fear not.

And for hair, the hair person recommended Bumble… But like, first of all, Mom, if you are listening to this, fast for 5 seconds because I’m going to talk about something I’m going to buy for you. So skip ahead. She recommended Bumble and Bumble Thickening Spray to give your hair kind of a thicker look. And SACHAJUAN Dry Shampoo Powder shampoo. If you find yourself needing a dry powder shampoo, she recommends that brand.

Elizabeth:
Yeah, I know people who just swear by dry shampoo. It’s like their favorite thing in the world.

Gretchen:
Yeah. Yeah. Now, Elizabeth, I have to say that Ella suggested a Ped Egg. She’s like, “A Ped Egg?” Clearly in on the joke.

Elizabeth:
Oh! That is hilarious. Yeah, I won’t be getting anyone one of those this year.

Gretchen:
No, but I did get you one last year as a joke, I think. Yeah, but yeah, the Ped Egg… I feel like I should get you a Ped Egg to hang on the Christmas tree as an ornament.

Elizabeth:
An ornament. They would make a nice ornament.

Gretchen:
But they weigh a lot. They’re heavy.

Elizabeth:
Well. Oh, yeah, that’s true.

Gretchen:
Maybe I’ll make you a representation of a Ped Egg.

Elizabeth:
Oh, that’s hilarious. Okay, now, Gretchen, of course, I have to mention all of the great gifts available on the Happiness Project site.

Gretchen:
Oh, yeah, that’s right.

Elizabeth:
There are so many things. There are Tendency mugs. You have all the journals; the “One-Sentence Journal” I think is a great Christmas gift. The “Don’t Break the Chain Habit Tracker” Journal, the “Know Yourself Better.” One thing I love that you’ve done now, which is especially great for gifting, is the Tendency Gift Boxes.

Gretchen:
Yeah, those are really fun. We got water bottles. If you’re a fan of the podcast, you can request a Happier podcast for yourself because we got the Podcast Mug. And so all of this is at happiercast.com/shop. And because it’s the holidays, there are specials, so if you order more than $100, you can get 20% off. And that is the promo code HAPPIERNOVEMBER20 for 20% off. And if you’re a returning customer, you get 15% off any order. And that promo code is HOLIDAYVIP15. And again, I’ll put all this in the show notes, but it’s all at happiercast.com/shop.

Elizabeth:
All right. Okay, Gretch, let’s move on to some great stocking stuffers.

Gretchen:
Yeah. Yeah. These are the little fun gifts. So, speaking of my shop, I cannot resist what I think is a great stocking stuffer. I have stuffed many a stocking with this, which is a pouch. It’s a canvas pouch that says, “The days are long, but the years are short.” And so it’s great just on its own, but what I often like to do is I fill it up with like colored markers or some office supplies or like you could put candy in there. It can be fun to have like pouch plus whatever’s in the pouch. But then I think a lot of people use it for things like tech equipment, makeup…

Elizabeth:
That’s what I use mine for, yeah.

Gretchen:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Elizabeth:
Cords.

Gretchen:
Yeah, cords.

Elizabeth:
Okay, then, the rainbow twirler. Something we both love.

Gretchen:
Yes. This is a gift that my mother-in-law gave to Eliza and Eleanor one year. And I really think this is just bang for the buck. This thing is fun and cool and really stands up. Yeah. I love the rainbow twirler.

Elizabeth:
Michelle said. “Here’s a fun idea for kids: Magic Grow Capsules. You place the capsule in water and wait for the shell to dissolve and see what sponge creature pops out.

Gretchen:
These are so fun.

Elizabeth:
So fun.

Gretchen:
I really love the Shashibo Shapeshifting Box. They call it a fidget cube, but it’s really much more elaborate. It looks… it’s kind of the size and shape of a Rubik’s cube, but it unfolds and folds in these really interesting, kind of mesmerizing ways. Like once you pick it up, you can’t put it down. So I love that; I think it’s a great gift.

Elizabeth:
And there are many patterns. Many gorgeous different patterns.

Gretchen:
There are many different patterns. Yes.

Elizabeth:
Mindy says, “My in-laws got me custom socks with my dog’s face on them, and I absolutely love them. Whimsical and fun, yet so practical.” Great stocking stuffer.

Gretchen:
Love that. So here are some suggestions for gifts that you could make or that your children could make. One: The laminator. I’m a big fan of laminar. You can make placemats, you can make menus, you can laminate favorite recipes so that they, you know, are splatter safe.

Elizabeth:
Cynthia, Jack’s nanny, gave me bookmarks that were laminated pictures of him. She gave them to me years ago and I still use them. Obviously I love them; they’re my favorite bookmarks.

Gretchen:
That’s great. That’s great. It could be children’s art. You know, this is a way you can work with your children. There’s the classic which I’d kind of forgotten about, which was when you take wax paper and you iron it with, like, leaves or cutouts or crayon shavings, and you make window decoration sort of stained glass windows. That’s a really fun thing to do as a kid.

Elizabeth:
Karen had two suggestions. She says, “52 Things I Love About You. You get a deck of cards and write something you love about the person on each card. Then punch a hole in the corner, put it on a ring and tie it with a ribbon. I made this for my husband and it’s one of his favorite gifts I’ve ever given him.”

Oh, that’s so great. And then she says, “When my children were little, we made all kinds of art out of their handprints, like turn their handprints into reindeer or bunny rabbits, etc., on a little canvas. We even made an apron for my father-in-law that said, “Best grandpa, hands down.” The grandparents loved them. And even though the kids are teenagers now, the grandparents still display them.

Gretchen:
Oh, so cute.

Elizabeth:
Yes.

Gretchen:
Heidi has a great idea. And this is a riff on what we talked about in episode 387 about making a five senses portrait. It’s been really interesting to see how people have taken this idea in a lot of different ways.

Heidi writes, “I told my kids I only wanted one thing for my summer birthday, and it was a five senses portrait. They each made one for me on an index card and I loved it. I could tell my husband wished he had one, so I made a little booklet, and the kids and I filled it up, and we’ll give it to him for his birthday this weekend.” And she included a picture, and it looks very elegant. Like it looks like a, like a bound book. And it’s very cunning and attractive. So I thought that was a great idea for something that you can make that really is super thoughtful and creative.

Elizabeth:
Yeah.

Gretchen:
Okay, then, finally, Elizabeth, let’s zip through a bunch of suggestions about non-stuff gifts. These are gifts that are also experiences. The first one is sort of a thing, but it’s also sort of more; I consider this more of an experience.

Debbie said, “One gift I used to give my grandmother every year after I moved away from home, I would buy a pretty set of note cards that had 12 note cards and envelopes. Then I’d write in one note and put it in the box, wrap it, and give it to her. The other 11 note cards I kept. Each month I wrote to her on the note cards. This was the gift of regular connection. By the end of the year, she’d have the full set of note cards in the box. She loved this gift. I gave it several times, and after she died, I inherited all the sets of notecards. So it was indirectly a gift for me as well.”

Elizabeth:
That’s a beautiful idea.

Gretchen:
Such a good idea.

Elizabeth:
Of course, Gretch, there’s the Gift of Podcast on your website. You can download a certificate and write down a podcast that you think someone would love and tie it with a ribbon and put it in their stocking or give it to them.

Gretchen:
Yeah. Gretchenrubin.com/resource/gift-of-podcast. It will be in the show notes; fear not. Yes. Dana says, “For families with smaller children, an annual membership to the zoo, aquarium, and children’s museum is great. That allows them to take multiple shorter trips with the kids versus feeling they have to stay long enough to get their money’s worth from a single-day admission. This saves a lot of meltdowns from exhausted kids.” This is a great gift.

Elizabeth:
Yes. And then the next one, great, comes from our cousin Sarah. She says, “I give my stepdad a dozen grapefruits from Pitman Davis in Texas. He loves it every year. We used to love getting the Topsy’s Popcorn canister from your mom and dad every year.” Love Topsy’s Popcorn, as well as grapefruit.

Gretchen:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s a big part of our childhood. Maryanne said, “My kids got a mama day and papa day each. They got to choose what to do. It was a huge success. One wanted cinema and fries, the other a trip to the forest and building a fire, and the next wanted a day at a cool waterslide park. They were so happy for the attention and alone time, which is rare in a family of six.” Great.

Elizabeth:
Alisha says, “One of my favorite gift ideas is Charity on Top gift cards. You buy a charity gift card for any amount and you immediately receive a tax-deductible receipt. You give the gift card to your friend, family, colleague, client, vendor, and they redeem it for a charity they care about, not the charity you choose for them, but the charity they love.”

Gretchen:
Yeah, I mean, this is great because you’re giving. You’re allowing somebody to give to a cause. It’s the right size. It doesn’t create clutter. You can add it to another gift. Like if you’re giving them a fruit basket and you want to top it off, add a little something to it. You can customize the cards. So yeah. And it makes just the logistics of it easier to do something like this.

Oh, but so… and it ties into something else, which is worth mentioning if you’re giving gift cards. Research suggests that if you’re giving gift cards, people prefer it if it’s more general. Like it feels more thoughtful if you’re like giving a gift card to a particular restaurant or a particular movie theater, but actually, those tend to be used much less. Recipients prefer something that is just as close to, like, they can spend it any way they want. So as you’re choosing a gift card, you might want to keep that in mind that you want to give them the options to choose.

Elizabeth:
Yes. And then, Gretchen, if people want to give any of your books as a gift, you will provide a personalized bookplate.

Gretchen:
That’s right. If you’re in the U.S. and Canada (because of the mailing costs, it has to be U.S. and Canada), you can get it for yourself, you can give it as gifts. I’ll do as many as you want within reason. Yeah. These are signed, personalized, and you can say the name of the person, and I’ll personalize it and sign it. And you can put it in a copy of the book that you’re getting for yourself without getting somebody else.

Gretchen:
And that’s gretchenrubin.com/resource/bookplace. Again, it will all be in the show notes.

Elizabeth:
Yes. And get those as soon as possible because, yes, it takes some time.

Gretchen:
Yes. This is very important; it takes a while for me to do these. Like, ask now because, yes, go ahead and ask for those bookplates, please.

Elizabeth:
And Gretchen, we had asked people for great teacher gift ideas and we got so many great ones. We’re going to do them in another segment in an upcoming episode.

Gretchen:
And if you just love a Gift Guide, I don’t know why they’re so fascinating, but they just are… Elizabeth, in episode 287, you and Sarah have a lot of great gift ideas on the Happier in Hollywood podcast. So go to episode 287 if you want more ideas.

Elizabeth:
Yes. Yes. Yes.

Gretchen:
So let us know if you do Try This at Home and how buying gifts early works for you. Check the show notes for all those links. Fear not; we will provide them. I’m going to do a whole article that’s just all the suggestions and links to make it easy for everyone. You can go to Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, drop us an email at gretchen@gretchenrubin.com, or as always, go to the show notes. This is happiercast.com/404.

Elizabeth:
Okay, Gretch, coming up, we have a waiting-in-line hack. But first, this break.

[Music]

Elizabeth:
Okay, so it is time for this week’s Happiness Hack.

Gretchen:
So a few episodes ago, we talked about the phenomenon of “phubbing,” which is “phone snubbing,” and how it’s more annoying for you to be on your phone than you think. And we talked about research showing that people think they’re better at multitasking than they actually are, which is definitely true. And Marika had an observation about this and about paying attention to what you’re doing.

Elizabeth:
Yeah, she says, “When waiting in lines to check out, before you do anything else (Candy Crush, Elizabeth?), make sure you have everything ready for your turn. I am always surprised and also frustrated at the number of people who have been standing in line. Yet when it is their turn to check out, they then start rummaging to find their wallet or their coupon or their receipt for the return.

“So use the time in line to prepare. Pull up the online coupon, move your wallet to the top of your purse and get out the card you are going to pay with. Also, I have seen people continue a phone conversation when checking out. This makes the line move slower for everyone else because you aren’t giving your full attention to the cashier who may be asking you questions (paper or plastic? do you have any coupons?) So be respectful to the cashier and other customers.”

Gretchen:
This is another form of phubbing, which is you’re not paying attention to the cashier, which is also disrespectful.

Elizabeth:
Absolutely.

Gretchen:
And now, it’s time for an interview. We are so happy to be talking to Temple Grandin. Temple Grandin is a scientist, academic, writer, and animal behaviorist. She’s a consultant to the livestock industry, where she offers advice on animal behavior, and is a faculty member in the College of Agricultural Sciences at Colorado State University. Also, Temple Grandin is one of the first autistic people to document the insights she gained from her personal experience of autism.

She’s an outspoken proponent of autism rights and the neurodiversity movement. In 2010, she was included in the Time 100, an annual list of the 100 most influential people in the world.

Elizabeth:
She was also the subject of the Emmy and Golden Globe-winning biopic “Temple Grandin,” where she was played by Claire Danes. Now she has a new book, “Visual Thinking: The Hidden Gifts of People Who Think in Pictures, Patterns, and Abstractions.” In it, she draws on cutting-edge research to explore the concept of visual thinking and to argue for why we need to recognize and nurture this approach.

Gretchen:
Hello, Temple.

Elizabeth:
Hi. Welcome.

Temple:
It’s great to be here.

Gretchen:
We’re so happy to get to talk to you today.

Elizabeth:
Yes. We are so excited to talk about your new book. And you mentioned that this was something that helped you get through COVID.

Temple:
Yes, it was. And I had hours of time I could spend on the internet researching a book. And I called up Betsy, my co-author, and I said, “Let’s do a book.” Because I was very concerned about skill loss, especially with visual thinkers like me that can’t do higher math. And the thing that helped me get through COVID was to get up every morning, take a shower, and get dressed for work every single day.

That helped. And the other thing is Betsy and I working on this book was different kinds of specialized minds working together because I’m an object visualizer who thinks completely in photorealistic pictures, which makes me good with animals, art, machinery, design. But she’s a verbal thinker, much more linear. And so we fully understood our different complementary skills.

I do the rough drafts and then she would smooth them all out to her magic on them. And I want to see see the kids that are different get out and get really great careers.

Gretchen:
Well, in the book, you know, it’s called “Visual Thinking.” And in it, you really explored the difference between verbal thinkers and then visual thinkers. And then, of the visual thinkers, you describe that there are two types. So you’re the one type, and then there’s the other type of visual thinker. And it’s really helpful to think about how people really just have these different perspectives on the world.

So explain a little bit more for people who are trying to understand, like, what is a visual thinker? Like, what kind of careers do they follow, what kind of things feel right to them? What kind of things come less easily to them?

Temple:
Well, first of all, I want to explain a lot of people are mixtures, but then you get people, like me, who are extreme visual object visualizers. Everything I think about is a picture. I think about my trip last night, I’m seeing all the places I ate at the airport. No, I’m SEEING that. You see, things come up as specific pictures.

And that’s different from the visual, spatial mathematical patterns. One type of visual thinker thinks in photorealistic pictures with specific examples of things. Another person thinks in patterns, and they tend to be good at music, also. So let’s look at careers. My kind of mind absolutely can’t do algebra, but we’re really good at things like inventing mechanically complex equipment.

I’ve worked with people that would be labeled autistic, dyslexic, or ADHD today, that designed things for me. They could build all kinds of complicated things, had their own shops, and multiple patents. Now you’re visual, spatial kind of thinker is going to do the more mathematical parts of engineering. So if we’re building a meat processing or a food processing plant, you got to have both.

My kind of mind does what I call the clever engineering department and the other mathematical minds got to do boilers, refrigeration, you know, make sure the snow doesn’t knock the roof in. You see? You need to have both. But one of the things that made me want to do this book, “Visual Thinking,” is the concern about skill loss.

The people that I’m working with are retired. So now, for example, if you want a poultry processing plant, the equipment comes from Holland in 100 shipping containers. There’s a serious problem with skill loss and things like people to fix elevators and escalators.

Elizabeth:
Yeah, because you argue very persuasively in the book that these days, education is very skewed toward verbal thinkers. And that is really neglecting visual thinkers and that is to everyone’s detriment, like you’re saying, with the skill loss. So what do you think can be done about that?

Temple:
Well, I’ve done a lot of talks to big corporations… of different kinds of big corporations, computer companies, steel companies, airlines, lots of different things. And I said, “Wou need the specialized skills.” Okay, my kind of mind for mechanics, the mathematical minds for things like running all the computer systems at a company, and then the verbal thinkers keep things organized.

Gretchen:
You argue that verbal thinkers tend to be very linear. And so, in some cases, that’s useful. But then, in some cases, maybe it’s not.

Temple:
Well, verbal thinkers overgeneralize. They’ll say something like, “How do I teach kids with autism? Well, that’s way too generalized. My kind of mind takes specific examples and I can sort them into categories on a spreadsheet. Bottom-up thinking, same way that computers think. They think the same way. That’s bottom-up thinking. I mean, I tell big corporations that you need these skills. I also tell them that the first thing they’ve got to do is realize there are different kinds of thinkers. Okay. In talking to a steel company, for example, I said, “I’m going to bet you have a one out in your mill that your best maintenance person is turning gray and he’s not getting replaced.” And I’ve seen this problem in the meat industry, losing the ability to do in-house engineering stuff.

And this goes back to two big mistakes made 20, 25 years ago: taking shop classes out of the schools, and so these kids that should be fixing their stuff are playing video games in the basement, and the other big mistake is the companies shut down in-house engineering because in the short run it was cheaper just to have a local shop build the equipment. Yeah, that works until the local shop retires and doesn’t get replaced.

Gretchen:
Right. Well, one of the things that was so interesting was you… and it ties into the shop class issue… was you talking about how in your own growing up and your own education, how you had these very significant turning points in shop class, mucking out stables, a science who got you really interested in science projects that were very hands-on and really got you interested and intrigued. If you have a child who you’re like, ‘This sounds like you’re describing my child as a visual thinker.” What are the kinds of things that you could do to help to encourage and help that child build on those skills and find a way forward with something that is interesting and exciting to them?

Temple:
Well, for my kind of mind, okay. I would start out with Legos. I saw a show the other night on T.V. of fantastic things built with Legos, but then you need to go to tools. I’m seeing too many kids today growing up and never used a tool. I had a girl in my class last year who had never used a ruler or tape measure ever.

Gretchen:
Oh, a ruler. I thought you were taking like a power saw.

Temple:
No. I’m talking about a tape measure.

Elizabeth:
Wow.

Gretchen:
Wow. Okay.

Temple:
Never used a ruler or tape measure to measure anything. We’ve got too many kids today totally removed from the world of practical things. So what we do with my kind of mind, lots of hands-on project, that’s why I did another little book called “Calling All Minds,” all my childhood hands-on projects where I’ll tinker and tinker and tinker to get little kites to work. Your mathematical, your visual-spatial, they may need to be moved to head into higher math. They’ll need to be exposed to computer programing. I tried computer programing. Bill Gates and I used the same exact computer. He could do it, I couldn’t. But I was exposed. I’m a big believer in exposing kids to all kinds of different things; music, theater, computer programing, mathematical stuff, shop, cooking, sewing, to kind of see what they gravitate toward.

Gretchen:
And that’s what’s interesting, like you talked about, because again, you were talking about how sewing was really helpful to you or building sets for the drama department. Like there are many ways you can fit these skills into many different circumstances that might be interesting to you, but you’re bringing your own special strength to it.

Temple:
Well, my favorite thing when I was in fourth grade was my Singer SewHandy, a toy sewing machine that actually sewed. You cranked it. And I loved my Singer SewHandy and I sewed crepe paper with it to make green tops for when the students had to dress up as carrots in the school play.

Elizabeth:
Well, Temple, you mentioned that your co-author is a verbal thinker and you work well together, but what are some of the common, like, misunderstandings and problems that arise when visual thinkers and verbal thinkers don’t understand each other’s perspective?

Temple:
Well, the first thing is realizing that different kinds of thinking exist. Now, I’m very concerned that my kind of mind can’t do higher abstract math. I had to drop a physics class. I had to drop an engineering course. I majored in psychology because it required less math. But I’m concerned my kind of mind is getting screened out with draconian high school math requirements.

Temple:
And the people that did machine redesign, all kinds of patents, they couldn’t do algebra either, I’ve talked to them. And that’s why in my book “Visual Thinking,” I’ve got a chapter called Screened Out.

But you see visual thinking as understanding mechanical things. That’s a different kind of problem-solving than mathematical mathematicians calculate. I see solutions to problems, or if it’s something that could break or something could go wrong, I can see where you might have a risk.

Gretchen:
Well, it’s so interesting because this comes up over and over that it’s just very hard to realize that people have very different perspectives on the world. Like, this just comes up in all different contexts. So I think one of the real eye-opening aspects of your book is that you show how people really do bring these different strengths and they’re all necessary for the world to work. And just being bad at something doesn’t mean that you can’t be excellent at something else.

Temple:
So I was exposed to a little flute when I was a kid and I was terrible at it. I could never figure out how to finger the holes. But I was exposed to it. Right. And other kids got to pick up on that flute and a whole bunch of other instruments.

Gretchen:
Right. Right. Well, Temple, we always like to ask our guests if they have a Try This at Home suggestion, you know, an idea that listeners can think about in their own lives as they’re trying to be happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. Do you have a suggestion?

Temple:
One thing that has made my life pretty happy is having an interesting career. And some of the most fun stuff I ever did was working on animal behavior with people, working on figuring out how to design stuff. And that’s made my life fun, really interesting, and I want to help other kids that are different discover a good career and find something that they can really get, you know, meaning in life from doing.

And right now, people ask me, at 75, what do I want to do? I want to help the kids, especially the ones that think differently, get into really great careers where they can do something that makes a positive contribution.

Gretchen:
Well, that is terrific. I think this book is going to really, I think, help a lot of people understand with more clarity all these different kinds of thinking. So thanks so much for joining us today.

Temple:
Well, it was great to be here.

Elizabeth:
Thanks, Temple. Coming up, I give myself a repeat Demerit. But first, this break.

[Music]

Gretchen:
Okay, Elizabeth, it is time for Demerits and Gold Stars, and this is an even-numbered episode, which means it’s your turn to talk about a Demerit.

Elizabeth:
Okay, Gretch, this is a Demerit… it’s kind of a past Demerit that I’m just fully absorbing now, let me explain. Okay. So over the pandemic, I stopped weighing myself, as I think many people did. There was just like a whole thing around eating during the pandemic, and I knew I was gaining weight, so I stopped weighing myself. Now, let me say, for some people, weighing themselves is not a good idea to do ever or once a week or everyone has their own, you know, relationship with the scale.

For me, I’m always better off when I weigh myself every single day. I know that’s what is healthy and works for me, but I didn’t weigh myself for like three years. Now, and this is, I guess, the Gold Star, I am weighing myself every day, but I’m just retroactively lamenting and wishing that I had never stopped. So my Demerit is the three years where I didn’t do it.

But I am now back. So that’s good. And Gretchen, I’m happy to report to you that you had given me the “Don’t Break the Chain Habit Tracker” Journal, and I’m using that for this. So every day I’m writing down my weight. Again, for some people, this is not a good idea. For me, it is very helpful. So now I can look back and it’s nice.

Gretchen:
Oh, good. Well, I’m glad the journal was helpful. Because for you that is a really positive habit. So that’s good that it’s helping you stay on track.

Elizabeth:
Yes. Okay. What is your Gold Star?

Gretchen:
Okay. Well, I mentioned earlier that I did The Talk, which was super exciting, but it came up very suddenly. It was like, “Hey, do you want to come in? Like, in a couple of days?” And Elizabeth, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this about me, but I could be a little bit inflexible. And it’s really hard for me when things change suddenly.

And so this is like, I think for me, this makes me more uneasy than it does. I think other people are kind of roll with things better. And I was just like, I’m just going to stay loose. I’m just going to embrace the opportunity. I’m just going to feel like I can make this work. It’s just not a big deal. And if I have to move some things… because there really was nothing important that I had to move, it was just the logistics of going through it. And I think sometimes that can make me less open to opportunities than I want to be because I’m just like, “Ooh, like, can I handle the change?”

Elizabeth:
Yeah. I wasn’t sure you would agree to do it because it was so sudden, so great that you did it.

Gretchen:
Yes. So I did have to kind of talk myself through it. But so that’s why I give myself the Gold Star. I think other people wouldn’t even have thought twice. But for me, I did.

Elizabeth:
And, I might add, it was a great segment. I’m sure people could look it up if you didn’t see it on The Talk. Yes, post the link, it was a great segment.

Gretchen:
All about habits, you know, which I love to talk about. Okay. The resources for this week. Earlier this year, we launched a series of Jump-starts, which are resources designed to give you a boost to start or restart habits, a lot of popular things people are working on, and created these Jump-Starts for a lot of them as popular habits.

And now we’re bringing these tools to the Happier app. And because the holidays can be stressful, we’ve designed the first Jump-start to help people prepare for and enjoy the holidays. As of this week, there’s a new Jump-Start Your Habits section on the home screen of the Happier app, where you’ll find, like, an easy, actionable prompt for planning ahead. Just log in or download the Happier app and you can join in.

And it’s going to start with seven days of planning, then seven days of doing, and then seven days of appreciating. And so you can learn more by going to thehappierapp.com. And just again, we mentioned this earlier, but in case anybody wants to hear it again, there are a lot of promotions available through November 30th on the Happiness Project Shop in the collection there.

So if you want 20% off orders of $100 and more, that’s promo code HAPPIERNOVEMBER20. Or if you’re returning customer and want 15% off, that’s HAPPIERVIP15 through November 30th. And that’s all it happiercast.com/store. What are we reading?

Elizabeth:
I am reading “When You Trap a Tiger” by Tae Keller.

Gretchen:
And I just started “The King Must Die” by Mary Renaud. And that’s it for this episode of Happier. Remember to Try This at Home, buy those gifts early. Let us know if you tried it and if it works for you.

Elizabeth:
Thank you to our guest, Temple Grandin. Read her book, “Visual Thinking.” Thanks to our executive producer Chuck Reed and everyone at Cadence 13. Get in touch. Gretchen’s on Instagram @gretchenrubin and I’m @lizcraft. Our email address is podcast@gretchenrubin.com.

Gretchen:
And if you like the show, give the Gift of Podcast. Tell somebody that you think that they would enjoy the show. That is how new people discover our show.

Elizabeth:
Until next week, I’m Elizabeth Craft.

Gretchen:
And I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward.

[Music]

Elizabeth:
Gretch, I love Temple Grandin’s cowboy shirt. She always wears those.

Gretchen:
Yes, I know that. I’ve seen that in so many pictures and interviews. And I wondered if she would wear it for this. And there she was. Yeah, she was absolutely in her western look.

Elizabeth:
She looked just like herself, as people often do.

Gretchen:
And yet it’s always surprising how much they look like themselves.

From the Onward Project.