Try This at Home

Review your “22 for 22” list.

It’s helpful to create a prompt—such as a “22 for 22” list—that spurs us to reflect on our lives, and how we might become happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative.

For more ideas for catalysts for reflection, check out the Calendar of Catalysts.

We first talked about our lists for 2022 in episode 359. In episode 384, we used “Halfway Day” of July 2 to see how we were doing at that point.

Elizabeth:

1. Get a Season 3 for Fantasy Island
   2. Hold a premiere party for Season 2 of Fantasy Island (delayed, because the season will premiere on January 2)
   3. Get the shingles vaccine
   4. Take a family trip to San Francisco
   5. Celebrate Adam’s milestone birthday in July
   6. Get her treadmill serviced
   7. Take a family trip to Disney World
   8. With Adam, finish writing their will (underway)
   9. Buy a new arm for her microphone
   10. Get a colonoscopy
   11. Go to the Electric Lake in Puerto Rico (she tried)
   12. Organize a moms’ trip to see a comedian at Morongo
   13. Walk from Encino to Malibu
   14. Buy new outdoor furniture (underway)
   15. Get another dog
   16. Visit the Capri Room at Buca di Beppo in Encino
   17. Go to the Integratron sound bath
   18. Host a moms’ party in her backyard
   19. Read 22 novels
   20. Walk Nacho (and now, Daisy) five times each week
   21. Send Christmas cards this year
   22. Arrange for professional family photos

Gretchen:

1. Sign up for more sensory adventures by myself and with family and friends
   2. Clean up my office
   3. Encourage Eleanor to clear out her room
   4. Catch up on my physical photo albums (partly done)
   5. Buy a big backpack for traveling
   6. Create more products – take a look here! In particular, check out the new journals, Know Yourself Better: Building Connections and Know Yourself Better: Embracing Change 
   7. Invite my high-school friends to my apartment
   8. Take a trip with Eleanor
   9. Delegate 22 things
   10. Have a summer of re-reading
   11. Figure out if it’s possible to have better soundproofing for my office (kind of)
   12. Hang pictures
   13. Wear make-up every day
   14. Take a daily nap – #Rest22in22
   15. Do a daily reading “review”
   16. Have a scents party
   17. Take a watercolor class
   18. Be more systematic about connecting with friends and colleagues
   19. Review my giant “happiness” catch-all document (carry-over)
   20. Keep going to the Met every day
   21. Ask for permission to badger
   22. Add one item! Watch Breaking Bad (underway, on Season 4)

We love to see people’s lists, so if you’re so inclined, post your list to #22for22. 

Happiness Hack

Just as many of us have a travel toiletry kit that’s mostly never unpacked, it’s useful to have a tech kit with pre-assembled essentials such as a charger, mini tripod, clip light, etc.

I was delighted to realize that my “The days are long but the years are short” pouch is the perfect size.

Know Yourself Better

What did we learn about ourselves from #Rest22in22? I learned that I love to nap!

Demerits & Gold Stars

• Gretchen’s Demerit: I fell behind in deleting bad photos. It’s easier to keep up than catch up.
  
• Elizabeth’s Gold Star: Our mother makes Elizabeth’s favorite sausage soup whenever she visits.

Resource

The end of the year is a good time for reflection, and we now offer three versions of Know Yourself Better journals in The Happiness Project shop:

• The original (and best selling!) Know Yourself Better Journal
• Know Yourself Better Journal: Embracing Change
• Know Yourself Better Journal: Building Connections

Each journal offers sixty prompts to help you build self-knowledge to apply in the new year. 

For a limited time (through 12/13 at 11:50pm PT), you can get a special discount when you purchase any single or combination of the Know Yourself Better Journals. Apply promo code at checkout.

Use code KYB50 for 50% off. 

What We’re Reading

• Elizabeth:  Still reading The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (Amazon, Bookshop)
• Gretchen: The Memory of Old Jack by Wendell Berry (Amazon, Bookshop)

Gretchen
Hello, and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about ideas, insights, hacks, and solutions for how to make our lives happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. This week, we’ll talk about why it’s useful to review our 22 for 22 lists. And we will review our lists and reveal how we’ve done. And we will also talk about what we learned from the Rest 22 in 22 Challenge.

[Music]

Gretchen
I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, the five senses, and human nature. I am in my little home office here in New York City. And joining me today from L.A. is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. And Elizabeth, you have COVID—you made it so long.

Elizabeth
That’s me, Elizabeth Craft, a T.V. writer and producer living in L.A. And yes, Jack and Adam and I all have COVID, varying symptoms and degrees. I think I have a pretty mild case, although you can probably hear it in my voice. And I think for anyone on YouTube, I might look a bit pale today. But, you know, I’m just so glad we’re all vaccinated because we’ve got it but we’re managing and much better to get it vaccinated than when you’re not vaccinated.

Gretchen
No, absolutely. Oh, my gosh. Well, hang in there.

Elizabeth
Thank you. Yes, I’ll keep you posted. I thought we could escape, but it got us.

Gretchen
Yeah. Yeah. Well, in happier news, Elizabeth, I wanted to say that I was sitting watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on Thanksgiving, which is what we always do in our family. And I was so excited because when the Pillsbury Doughboy float came, I heard that it was flying the theme music from Happier in Hollywood. I mean, just all of a sudden I picked up my head, I was like, “Wait, I know that music.”

Gretchen
I couldn’t believe it.

Elizabeth
Yes. And I heard that from a couple of listeners. That is so exciting.

Gretchen
Chuck, do you think we could play a clip?

Chuck
Sure. Here you go.

[Music]

Gretchen
And then I also wanted to say thank you for my lotion warmer. Oh, my goodness. We heard from so many people, first of all, telling me about this product that I did not know existed, that you can buy something that warms your lotion. And also from people telling me about in-shower body lotion where you put it on in the shower before you dry off. Also something I had no idea [about]. But I want to try that. But I did try the Conair Lotion Warmer and it is so decadent.

Elizabeth
Oh, good. So does it make putting on lotion more appealing in the morning?

Gretchen
100% It feels like a spa thing. And it was a perfect gift. You sent it to me without any warning. So it just arrived in the mail was, like, a big treat. And it is something that as an underbuyer, I absolutely, positively would never have bought for myself. It’s way too specialized and way too unnecessary. But it is delightful.

Elizabeth
Oh, good. I’m glad. You deserve it.

Gretchen
Yeah, well, thank you. Thank you. And thank you to all the listeners who wrote in to talk about that. And also, we got a huge outpouring of people about this question of how do you take notes while you’re listening to a podcast. It turns out, I guess it’s not surprising that many of our listeners also have this challenge and overwhelmingly, people recommended taking a screenshot of the place and the time and then going back.

And when you’re back at your desk or whatever and using that as a cue. And so that’s really helpful. And then Debbie also had a suggestion about audiobooks.

Elizabeth
Yeah, she said, “I’m listening to you talk about listening to audiobooks. You said that one of the drawbacks for you is that you don’t get to take notes. Not true. There is a clip/bookmark feature in the Audible app.”

Gretchen
Well, I tried this. It’s in the bottom right corner. It says “Clip.” I never knew about this.

Elizabeth
Same.

Gretchen
It’s so great. And then we had another suggestion from Kate.

Elizabeth
She said, “I almost always listen to podcast, including yours and Happier in Hollywood which are two of my favorites, via Bluetooth through my phone in the car. If I hear something I want to find out more about or something I’d like to do, I pause my podcast and ask Siri to add the item to my Brain-Dump List.

“I usually get a good enough entry on my list to remind me what I wanted to look up when I get to my destination. For instance, when I listened to your podcast this week, I paused it at the point where this is discussed and said, ‘Add email. Gretchen to my brain dump list.’ It was there when I next went to the list and to jog my memory about what I wanted to do.

“It’s also a useful hack for what I’m driving in the car and I remember something I need to do. I have my Brain Dump List as a widget on my home screen, so it’s there in front of my eyes for me to see easily.” What a great idea.

Gretchen
Yeah, I tried this. This works great. So thank you, everyone, for those hacks in this class. And also, we are asking for post-holiday hacks. So that’s another thing to email us about if you have ideas for post-holiday hacks.

Elizabeth
Yeah, we had our pre-holiday hacks and now we’ll have our post-holiday hacks.

Gretchen
Indeed. Okay. This week our Try This at Home tip is to review your 22 for 22 list. We’re a big fan of anything that is a catalyst for reflection and that helps us think about what we might want to do in the future to make our lives happier, and one of the things that we’ve been doing for the past several years now is this list. I don’t even remember the list now when we started, but there’s like 19 for 2019 and 20 for 20, and we had 22 for 22.

And we first talk about these lists in episode 359, and then to celebrate Halfway Day on July 2nd in episode 384 we did a review, and now we’re going to do the real review of the whole year and see how did we do, what did we learn, what are we going to carry forward? Because these lists are really helpful.

Elizabeth
And Gretchen, we’ve heard from so many listeners about their lists. We got this nice note from Isaac. He said, “Mainly because I put it on my 22 for 22 list, I went to the dentist for the first time in over 20 years.” Isaac, Excellent.

Gretchen
Yes, well done. Now. And we will also mention our one-word themes. But in an upcoming episode, we’ll reveal our themes for 2023, which we’re thinking very hard about. So let us know what you chose for 22 or 23. We always like to highlight suggestions from listeners because I think a lot of times we cribbed them from each other.

Gretchen
Yes, very much like borrow each other’s ideas. Okay. So Elizabeth, let’s start with you. Like, what was your one-word theme for 2022?

Elizabeth
So my one-word theme was “Step.” It was all about stepping, hiking, stepping into the future. You know, it was one of my favorite catchphrases. I’ll talk more about how it went in that episode, but I did somewhat incorporate it into my list.

Gretchen
Okay, so I’m going to take you through your list. Tell us how you’re doing. Okay. Get a season three for Fantasy Island.

Elizabeth
Gretch, I’m very hopeful that that will happen. I’m it’s not in my control, but I feel very hopeful about it.

Gretchen
Okay. Hold a premiere party for season two of Fantasy Island.

Elizabeth
Well, that’s not until January 2nd, Monday 8 p.m.. So hopefully I will have a gathering. Depending on various factors, I would like to do some sort of gathering for that.

Gretchen
Right. So that got pushed out again—out of 22.

Elizabeth
Yes. Out of my control. Yeah.

Gretchen
Okay, but you’re ready. Get the shingles vaccine.

Elizabeth
I did that. I got both shingles vaccines. Yay.

Gretchen
Yeah. Part of your summer of health. Well done. Take a family trip to San Francisco.

Elizabeth
We did not do that. I tried to get that going, but the timing just didn’t work out. So that’s still on my list because I really want to take Jack. And I actually, I should say I really want to go to Alcatraz. I keep saying I want to take Jack, but I realized, actually, I really want to go to Alcatraz.

Gretchen
There you go. There you go. Number five, celebrate Adam’s milestone birthday in July.

Elizabeth
Did that. I arranged for us to go, and we stayed at a place called the Surf and Sand in Laguna Beach. And we had a room where it was so close to the waves that they actually gave you earplugs so that you could sleep. That’s how loud the ocean was. And that was somewhere Adam and I have been wanting to go since we started dating, so I thought that was a good celebration of his birthday.

Gretchen
Oh, excellent. Number six. Okay, get your treadmill serviced.

Elizabeth
I did that.

Gretchen
Yeah. Part of your summer of health, I believe. Number seven, take a family trip to Disneyworld.

Elizabeth
Did not do that. Didn’t even get close.

Gretchen
Okay, Elizabeth, here is a big one. It’s a carryover. I know all the listeners are rooting for you on this. We have many, many inquiries about this, which is have you and Adam finished writing your will?

Elizabeth
Oh, my God, Gretch, we haven’t. We have got to do that. In fact, we need to get that… We did this whole thing and started it and got it in motion and talked to somebody and then we’re stalled out. So we need to email him and say, “What do we need to do to finish this?”

Gretchen
Right. Okay, so you got it underway and somehow like you got stuck and so you need to reengage.

Elizabeth
Yes.

Gretchen
Number nine, buy a new arm for your microphone.

Elizabeth
I did that. Yup.

Gretchen
It’s funny, you kind of go between big and small. I think that’s smart on your list. Number ten, get a colonoscopy.

Elizabeth
Did that and then added an endoscopy as well, just for, you know, bonus points.

Gretchen
Well, I want to say that if “Step” had this error of like energy and the future and health, all the ones connected to your summer of health, you’re really doing a great job on with “Step.”

Elizabeth
Step. Yes, with Summer of Health.

Gretchen
Yeah. Number 11, go to the Electric Lake in Puerto Rico.

Elizabeth
Try that, Gretchen, but we signed up and then we’re told, by the way, this is for people who are, like, really good at kayaking. And given that Sarah and I and Violet had never kayaked, we decided we better not go. So first I need to get my kayaking experience in.

Gretchen
Yeah, so it wasn’t what you thought it was. Not just like a tourist destination, right? Okay, number 12, organize a mind trip to see a comedian at Morongo.

Elizabeth
Okay, I haven’t done that, but I have regularly been checking the website, which I think now actually has another name, but I have been regularly checking the website to see who’s there. I mean, obviously, it’s got to be the right person to get everybody motivated. So I’m actively trying to check that out.

Gretchen
Okay. All right, good. Oh, this one is one so “Step” like and I’m so curious to hear… I’d like to do this myself when I’m visiting some time, which is to walk from Encino to Malibu.

Elizabeth
I haven’t done it. My friend who I’m going to do it with biked it and she thinks it’s very doable. But I just haven’t felt strong enough, to be honest, like that I would have the stamina. But that’s going to go on 23.

Gretchen
Okay. Okay.

Elizabeth
Carryover.

Gretchen
Number 14, buy new outdoor furniture.

Elizabeth
This is something under discussion. We are definitely talking about it and thinking about it. So that’s a process.

Gretchen
Yeah, that’s a process. Number 15 is one of the biggest ones on the list, which is to get another dog.

Elizabeth
And Gretchen we did it! This is manifesting. When I put this on the list you couldn’t believe one that I found on the list. I did not think we would do this. I really didn’t. But I just kind of put it on as a whim. And sure enough, we got Daisy and we’re so happy with having two dogs. We’re definitely two dog people.

Gretchen
There you go. Number 16, visit the Capri Room at Buca di Beppo in Encino.

Elizabeth
I haven’t done that. I got to tell you, I was outside of Buca di Beppo the other day, and I was like, “I’ve got to get in there to the Capri Room.” No excuse for that one.

Gretchen
Okay, well, that’ll be a carryover, and then you’ll cross that off in January, maybe. Okay, number 17. Go to the Integratron Sound Bath.

Elizabeth
I still haven’t done that, Gretchen and I want to go so badly.

Gretchen
But is it like a huge, like, months and months-long waiting list? So it’s not like you can just decide to go next weekend, right?

Elizabeth
Well, it just depends, but yeah, there is a waiting list and it’s really out in the middle of nowhere and there aren’t a lot of even like hotels nearby. So it’s a to-do, but I know that I would absolutely love it.

Gretchen
Number 18 host a mom’s party in your backyard.

Elizabeth
Didn’t do that. Gretch hosted a few little gatherings in my backyard, but I need to have that mom’s party.

Gretchen
Mm. Okay. Read 22 novels. I imagine you’ve done that.

Elizabeth
I think I definitely did that, yes.

Gretchen
You’ve been reading a lot. And you count listening to an audiobook as reading. We should be clear because sometimes people wonder about that.

Number 20 walked Nacho and then also now Daisy five times a week.

Elizabeth
Hasn’t been five times a week. Several times a week and can’t say that it’s been five times a week. So still working on that. But having them definitely gets us walking more at night, which is great.

Gretchen
Oh, that’s good. Coming close to the end. Number 21, send Christmas cards this year.

Elizabeth
Gretch, as you predicted, you were like, don’t put this on your list because you’re not going to do.

Gretchen
But that sounds so…

Elizabeth
Or you cautioned me, to think about do I want this on the list?

Gretchen
Well, I think what I said is I thought you needed to start by working on the addresses.

Elizabeth
So I didn’t send a Christmas card, Gretch. And then number 22 on my list was arrange for professional family photos with Nacho, and now Daisy. I didn’t do that either. And of course, that would be a step toward the Christmas card. So I’ve got to do that. You know, it’s… I have no excuse. I could have done it and I didn’t.

This is reminding me how much I want those professional family photos.

Gretchen
Well, this the initial question is the addresses, like do you want to send an e-card or do you want to send physical ones? Because what a lot of listeners said is keep all your envelopes of ones that you receive to become the basis of your own address list if you want to mail them out. But maybe you don’t want to mail them out. Maybe you want to just do it by email.

Elizabeth
Well, I love that idea. I am going to do that. I have not yet received the first Christmas card of the year. First holiday card. I’m going to do that. Thank you, listeners. This is my move toward the Christmas cards next year. I’m going to save all of those envelopes.

Gretchen
Right. And then you’ll have a starter address list.

Elizabeth
Yes, I love that. Okay.

Gretchen
Well, you did. Well, I do a lot of fun stuff. Yeah, it’s interesting. A lot of the ones you didn’t do were kind of like the fun little ones.

Elizabeth
Yeah.

Gretchen
But ones that were, like, big and kind of life important, you did do.

Elizabeth
It again. This is just a list. It’s not a contract. You know, written in blood. It’s just ideas. Gretchen, I’m taking my 22 for 22 list, and I’m going to save it in my Memento Journal that you gave me.

Gretchen
Oh, that’s such a great idea, I’m going to do that too. Because it’s such a, it’s such a, it’s perfect for the time capsule.

Elizabeth
Yes.

Gretchen
Oh, yeah. There is the Memento Journal. Yeah. No, I think that’s a great idea because it really sums up a lot. Wonderful.

Elizabeth
Okay, Gretch. Coming up, we’re going to go through your list. But first this break.

[Music]

Elizabeth
All right, Gretchen, we are back and we’re going to go through your 22 for 22 list. Your one-word theme for the year was “Salt”.

Gretchen
Yes, I was inspired by you to have a more kind of metaphorically interesting word. So I can’t wait to talk about “Salt” when we talk about one-word theme. So it was a great theme from the year. I was really happy with it.

Elizabeth
Oh, good. Okay, Gretchen, number one, sign up for more sensory adventures by yourself and with family and friends.

Gretchen
Oh, I’ve done so many sensory adventures. This is so much fun. And now I want to go to the Integratron with you too, Elizabeth. Yeah, but yes, I did the Sound Bath, that was one thing that you had suggested to me for years, but I did lots of sensory adventures. That was so much fun.

Elizabeth
Two is clean up your office.

Gretchen
So I realized with my office that it really was pretty clean and orderly. It was just messy looking because I have open shelves. And so if there’s some stuff there. So what I did was I did put some things in boxes or pouches or whatever. So it looks more orderly. Because there really wasn’t that much stuff that I could get rid of because it was really it was stuff that I actually need and use and it was in the right place.

It’s just if you have open shelves, you just have stuff on your shelves. And if it’s not all like in neat boxes to begin with, it just looks kind of messy. But I did I did make several sweeps through my office trying to deal with that, and I made some improvements.

Elizabeth
Okay. In the same vein, encourage Eleanor to clear out her room because she is an abundance lover.

Gretchen
Oh, there’s no way. For her, she doesn’t consider it cluttered. She considers it beautiful and beautifully arranged. She’s got stuff draped over her mirrors, stuff draped over her windows. I mean, it’s all over the place. But that’s just how she likes it. And I just have to admit to myself, like, it’s her room, like, if I say she can have it the way she wants it, that’s the way she wants it. She doesn’t have dirty clothes on the floor, dirty cups. And it’s all the… she likes it that way. She’s an abundance lover for sure.

Elizabeth
Okay. Four, catch up on your physical photo albums.

Gretchen
Okay. So this is a great example of how having something on your list can catch you. So I was just thinking about the list because I knew we were going to be talking about. I was like, okay, I’m in a hurry up and finish. I had a printed album that I had and handwritten captions in, so I hurried up and did that.

Then I went through and uploaded my photographs into Shutterfly, which is the program that I used to make physical books. So I’ve done that, which is kind of an ordeal. So that’s done. So I’m not caught up, but I rushed to get a couple steps closer to being done. So I’m hoping that I can do this by the end of 2022.

I have not done it now, but I’ve done a lot of the preliminary steps. And so now I just have to like sit down and actually make the albums.

Elizabeth
Oh, good. That’s a big project.

Gretchen
It’s the biggest project, but I want to stay up with it because somehow it just feels so much more out of control if it’s more than one calendar year. So I could do it now. It’s all of 22, which is a lot, but it’s just one year. So this is good. It’s gotten me focused on that priority.

Elizabeth
Right. Okay. Buy a big backpack for traveling.

Gretchen
Absolutely. I was so excited to do that. I went out, got it right away and I got the time and it’s a huge boon.

Elizabeth
Okay, create more products. I’ve been pushing this forever.

Gretchen
Elizabeth, you have been saying this forever. And now we’ve got practice. We’ve got to Know Yourself Better Journals. We got the Tackle Box with all the different sticky pads. We got water bottles, we got stickers, we got Tendency mugs, we’ve got Onward and Upward T-shirts, “The days are long, but the years are short” Pouch.

There’s so much stuff there. It’s so good. I love it all. I’m so proud of it. I work with the greatest people to create it. Go check it out. And I’m so happy because this has been something that I have wanted to do for such… because I love thinking through like what are the tools that are going to help people stick to their habit?

That’s the Happier app, too, which is a different kind of product, the Happier app also. So for me, it’s really fun to think about how do you turn ideas into actual products that will help people use them? And so that has been enormously satisfying. So go look at all that stuff. I love it all. And Elizabeth, Gold Star for you. You’ve been on this for years.

Elizabeth
I have. And I’ve been using my Habit Tracker Journal and the app every day.

Gretchen
Excellent.

Elizabeth
So I am a customer as well as someone pushing you to do it. Okay, number seven, invite your high school friends to your apartment.

Gretchen
Yeah. Every year or every other year, I get together with some of my high school friends and I had them all over and we had a lovely time. And then we went to go see a Broadway show together when it was when we were having our reunion. So it was so much fun.

Elizabeth
Nice. Ooh, I love this, eight. Take a trip with Eleanor.

Gretchen
Yeah. So with Eliza between junior and senior year, we went on a big Mother-Daughter trip, so I wanted to do the same thing with Eleanor, so she wanted to go to Paris. So we went to Paris and we had the most amazing trip. It was fantastic. If I had to say one thing, don’t miss, do to the Paris flea markets that are famous and deservedly so.

Amazing. Eleanor and I were both sort of blown away by that, but Paris is like the most beautiful city. We walked like a thousand miles. It was really a milestone trip.

Elizabeth
Yeah. And it’s funny because I bet without her interest, you wouldn’t have gone to the flea market. It wouldn’t have occurred to you. So she opened that up for you.

Gretchen
Yeah. She’s one of these teens that’s deep, deep into thrifting. And so, of course, I was like, well, we have to go to the flea markets. And I would go back, I would almost make a trip only to spend the whole time at the flea markets and really go deep because it felt so limitless. And just like nothing I’d ever seen before.

So yeah, very cool.

Elizabeth
Okay, number nine, delegate 22 things.

Gretchen
I have to say. I just dropped the ball on this. I think I’ve delegated things. I didn’t do it systematically. I don’t know, I should delegate more. I had a whole year where my theme was delegate because it’s such an important thing. It tends to be hard for Upholders especially. I don’t know if other Upholders out there have had this problem.

Gretchen
It’s something I think I want to put it on my list for next year in some way. I think this was too ambitious, but I should think about it more because it is really, it’s a useful thing to think about, but I just sort of disregarded it, which was a mistake. But so be it.

Elizabeth
Ten have a summer of rereading.

Gretchen
I really wanted to have a summer of rereading because I love rereading so much, but I just felt like I had so much new stuff that I wanted to read that I think maybe next summer I’m going to have a summer rereading because I have a specific stack of books so I know exactly what I want to reread, like Varieties of Religious Experience I’m dying to reread.

I’m due for another rereading of Story of a Soul. Really want to reread Boswell’s Life of Johnson. Like all these things I’m super excited to reread, but I just felt like I had too much new stuff to read. So maybe next summer.

Elizabeth
Okay, eleven. Figure out if it’s possible to have better soundproofing in your office.

Gretchen
Chuck and I have talked about this. He feels like he can make it work. I don’t know. Like, should I come up with some big, bigger, better audio-visual plan? I don’t know. I’m thinking about it. It’s just this environment keeps changing what we need from our work-from-home spaces.

Elizabeth
So true.

Gretchen
Yeah.

Elizabeth
Twelve, hanging pictures.

Gretchen
Okay. I have an appointment with somebody who’s going to come hang the pictures next week because I saw this and I was like, I’ve been kicking this down, like, from year to year for like 4 years. So finally I’m like, I’m not going to do it. It’s too hard for me.

Elizabeth
Okay. Yeah. Oh, you’ll have to post a photo of your…

Gretchen
I will give myself a gold star if it gets done.

Elizabeth
Okay, good. Thirteen. This one is interesting. Wear makeup every day.

Gretchen
Elizabeth, you said, “You’re not going to do that.” And I was like, “Maybe I will,” and I—no, I didn’t. No, I didn’t.

Elizabeth
What’s funny is I see you on YouTube and you are usually wearing makeup. So to me, I feel like you are wearing makeup every day.

Gretchen
Yes, but if you saw me every day, you would know that I don’t. But maybe I’ll try again. Because again, like, there’s so much stuff with video and photographs and everything, it’s like, maybe it’s just better to be prepared. It’s not really putting it on that I mind it’s taking it off. Like at night when you can just wash your face and you have no makeup on, it’s just like so much faster and easier.

And I have this thing and that thing to try to make it easier. And I don’t know why. It’s one of those things where I just disproportionately don’t like to do that chore. You know, everybody has like certain things that people really don’t like to leave the dishwasher are they really don’t like to unload the dishwasher. They really don’t like to make their bed. For some reason, I really don’t like to wash my face when I have makeup. But there it is.

Elizabeth
Okay, fourteen, Take a daily nap (schedule permitting).

Gretchen
100%. That was something that was part of my #Rest22in2222, which we will discuss later in this episode. I love taking a nap and now if I can take a nap, if it works on my schedule, I absolutely will. I love taking a nap.

Elizabeth
Fifteen, do a daily reading review. This was a carryover.

Gretchen
Did not do that. This is me trying to go through books and see what books I want to read. It might be easier now that I’m not doing original writing for my Life in Five Senses book. This is the kind of thing that when I’m not doing original writing and I’m in a different phase of a book, so I might carry this over and see if I can do it because it would be really, really useful.

And I don’t know why. I think it’s because if I start getting into a book and I like it, that I want to keep reading it, and so then I start, I’m in the middle of too many books and that’s a confusing feeling. This only works if it’s a book that I decide I don’t want to read.

Elizabeth
Well, that’s funny.

Gretchen
Maybe I need to rethink what it is I’m doing with this time.

Elizabeth
Okay, have a scents party. This was a carryover sense as in SCENTS.

Gretchen
Yes, I really want to do this. I have not done this, but I have so many perfume samples and scent samples and all kinds of things. I really want to do this, but I have not done it yet.

Elizabeth
Take a watercolor class, number seventeen.

Gretchen
Oh. So many listeners sent me so many great links and resources and I compiled them all into this big list and then was just like, “You know what? I don’t have time to do watercolors.” So maybe in a couple of years I’ll return to that. But I kind of put that on the back burner.

Elizabeth
When Eleanor goes to college, that’s you can take a watercolor class.

Gretchen
Maybe, maybe.

Elizabeth
Eighteen, be more systematic about connecting with friends and colleagues. This was also a carryover.

Gretchen
I’ve been slightly better with that. I do have kind of a system now. I think I am better. I think I will give myself credit for that. I think there’s more room to go, but I think I’ve definitely made progress.

Elizabeth
Number nineteen, review your giant happiness catch-all document.

Gretchen
I have not done this, again. I think it maybe is because I’m still in the deep part of working on Life in the Five Senses, which is so intellectually overwhelming. And then the happiness document is like it goes in so many directions. It’s like almost too interesting and too rich because it’s literally everything that I have found to be interesting and rich in everything that I’ve read for like years.

And so it’s almost too interesting, you know what I mean? And so I can’t get into it because it sort of makes me a bit bonkers. But maybe when I’m in a more kind of an in-between state with my book about the five senses, maybe I can do it because I would get a lot out of it. I bet there’s a lot of really rich material in there that I could use.

Elizabeth
Number twenty, keep going to the Met every day. I know you’ve done that.

Gretchen
Oh yeah. I may go to the Met every day for the rest of my life.

Elizabeth
I think you likely will, Gretch. Number twenty-one. Ask for permission to badger mom with her decorations. Me with night snacking, Eleanor with her driver’s license.

Gretchen
Big surprise. People don’t like to be badgered. I gave this up because, Happiness Bully that I am, I need to back it up sometimes. And I did.

Elizabeth
Okay, twenty-two. Add one item, did you add another item?

Gretchen
I added Breaking Bad because, Elizabeth you know I had such good success with watching Mad Men, finally. And so Jamie and I are watching Breaking Bad, which has been on my list forever. It took me a couple of seasons because it was just so stressful I couldn’t take it. And then I’m like, now all I want to do is watch Breaking Bad.

So we’re in season four, so we’re getting pretty close, but I am loving it. So that was a really fun thing to add.

Elizabeth
All right. Well, you did well, Gretchen.

Gretchen
Well, and so did you. And we want to hear from listeners. How did you do, if you’re so inclined, post your list to #22for22. It’s so fun to see other people’s lists. Did making a list help you get things done? What did you have most success with? We would love to hear people’s experience.

I love this, Elizabeth. And now we’ve got to start making our 23 for 23 lists.

Elizabeth
Yes, indeed we do, too.

Gretchen
Let us know your experience with your list on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, drop us an email at podcast@gretchenrubin.com. Or as always, you can go to the show notes this is happiercast.com/407.

Elizabeth
Okay coming up we have a tech hack. But first, this break.

[Music]

Gretchen
Okay, Elizabeth. A happiness hack that came out of our Instagram Live conversation.

Elizabeth
Yes.

Gretchen
And so we were talking about the fact that just as you have a toiletry kit when you travel and for a lot of us, like in our toiletry kit is things that we don’t pack and unpack. You always have a little tube of toothpaste and you don’t take them in and out. We realize that you and I both really need to have a tech kit, like a pouch, where we have our tech necessities that we always pack.

Elizabeth
Yes, with a charger, a mini tripod, a clip light, which I wanted in Kansas City and forgot. And Gretchen, have to point out, people could use your “The days are long but the years are short” Pouch for this.

Gretchen
Yeah because it’s a pouch and it’s a little bit on the larger side as pouches go so you can fit, my tripod fits in it and a mini tripod doesn’t always fit. So yeah, I’ll post a link to that if people are curious, but I love this idea of just having it ready and you know, and you don’t take stuff in and out of it, you just pack the bag so you know that you have all these necessities.

Elizabeth
Yes. That’s the key.

Gretchen
Okay, Elizabeth. Now for the Know Yourself Better question, this is kind of an episode of reflection. And we’re coming up to the end of 22. So let’s talk about what we learned from the Rest 22 and 22 challenge. Soon we’re going to unveil our 23 and 23 challenge. Very excited about that. But how did rest go for you and me? What do you think about rest?

Elizabeth
Well, for me, Gretch, what I found is that it was hard to make it a priority. I think maybe because it felt like an inaction rather than an action. So I had an easier time when we did Read and Walk because it was, I don’t know, just clearer to me. And one thing I realized is I think more parameters are better for me.

So because I’m like, well, I’m resting, I’m watching the housewives. Well, is that resting or is it not resting? Like you napped, and that’s clear. You’re napping. And I think I would have done better with a more specific idea in mind of exactly what constituted rest.

Gretchen
Well, you know, and just from what we heard from listeners, I do wonder if sometimes people like something that’s more specific and may be more active. I think that’s something that our choice for 23 is going to address. And it also seems from talking to you and thinking about myself and listeners, it seems like there are different things that work for different people, like for some people having it at a very specific time slot works, whereas some people don’t like that, some people literally put it in the calendar, some people don’t like that.

Accountability. Like is there accountability? Maybe with Rest there was no system of accountability where with Read you’re always talking about what you’re reading. And so there’s sort of that accountability. I found it for me as an Unholder, like I tend to be kind of all or nothing with my calendar. But I found with napping. I really was able to say, “I’m going to do this most days. I’m going to do this when it works and when it doesn’t work, that’s okay.”

And that kind of flexibility and ambiguity sometimes doesn’t work for me. So I was excited that with something like this I could keep it a little bit looser and still feel like I was upholding the spirit of it.

Elizabeth
Good. Well, I love that you’ve embraced napping. I know our dad will support that.

Gretchen
Yes.

Elizabeth
He’s the champion napper.

Gretchen
But we’ve heard from so many listeners that really found new ways to rest and kind of got the permission to rest and that we’re very excited about. Like, this is a thing that we’re doing for you. Elizabeth, it felt maybe not active enough, but I think for a lot of people it felt really good.

Elizabeth
Permission to rest. I think a lot of people enjoyed having that.

Gretchen
Right and that this is really a value and this is something really worth shining a spotlight on. So that was really great. We’re so happy that people got a lot out of it and we’re very excited for 23 in 23. But Elizabeth, the Demerits and Gold Stars.

Elizabeth
Yes. You are up this week, Gretchen with the Happiness Demerit.

Gretchen
Well, this is related to what I was saying about my 22 for 22 list. I got way behind in deleting bad photos like I try to keep up with. Like as I’m taking photos throughout the days, just go through and take out the bad ones and just keep the good ones so that my photos are cleaned up. And I fell way behind on that. And it’s just a good reminder that if you do it every day, it’s easier to keep up and catch up.

Elizabeth
Ah, yes.

Gretchen
And Elizabeth, how about you? What is the Gold Star?

Elizabeth
All right, Gretch, I want to give a Gold Star to mom because she always makes my favorite sausage soup when I go home. And I was home for Thanksgiving and we had this sausage soup the night I got there. And it’s just nice having a mom who’s taking care of you. You know?

Gretchen
Oh, yeah.

Elizabeth
Never gets old.

Gretchen
Yeah. And that soup is delicious.

Elizabeth
It’s my favorite, so thanks, mom, for my sausage soup.

Gretchen
Yes. Gold to our mother. And the resource for this week, as we’ve been talking about, the end of the year is a great time to reflect. And now I have these three journals that will help you reflect. There’s the original Know Yourself Better journal, which is this one. It is the bestselling journal. People love this journal and we have two new ones Embracing Change and Building Connections.

I’m showing these on YouTube.

Elizabeth
They’re beautiful.

Gretchen
Yeah. Isn’t that one gorgeous? I love this. One is Embracing Change. One is Building Connections. Because these are things that people all the time, you know, you try to know yourself better so you can get through these big, challenging times. And each journal has sixty prompts, which help. you build self-knowledge that you can use going into the New Year.

And for a limited time, that is through December 13th, 2022, at 11:50 p.m. Pacific time, there is a special discount if you buy one or a combination of them. If you use the promo code KYB50, you get 50% off and you can go to happiercast.com/journals for that. And again it’s KYB50 to get 50% off.

Elizabeth
Great.

Gretchen
And Elizabeth, what are we reading?

Elizabeth
I am still reading the Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller.

Gretchen
And I am reading The Memory of Old Jack by Wendell Berry. And that is it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Review your 22 for 22 list. Let us know if you tried it and how the list worked for you.

Elizabeth
Thanks to our executive producer, Chuck Reed and everyone at Cadence 13. Get in touch. Gretchen’s on Twitter @gretchenrubin and I’m on Instagram @lizcraft. Our email address is podcast@gretchenrubin.com.

Gretchen
And if you like this show, please be sure to tell a friend and rate, review, and follow us wherever you listen to your podcast.

Elizabeth
Until next week, I’m Elizabeth Craft.

Gretchen
And I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward.

[Music]

Gretchen
Elizabeth, we’ve taken so many COVID tests and always gotten negative. I kind of forgot that like, one day I could be positive.

Elizabeth
I know. And I have to tell you, it came up immediately. I did not have to wait 10 minutes. It was very clear that I had COVID.

Gretchen
You’re like, oh, these things do work.

Elizabeth
Yes, exactly. You always wonder. Yep, they do.

Gretchen
Oh, we’ll feel better soon.

Elizabeth
Thank you.

[Music]

Gretchen
From the Onward Project.